ON THE LOT
Episode 14
America’s Choice

Wow. Second nasty On The Lot surprise in as many weeks.
Zach. That is such a bummer. The guy I thought was a shoo-in for Final Three. Zach was like the Hiro of On The Lot, you know? The one who seemed the most enthusiastic and excited about the whole prospect of working with Spielberg at Dreamworks.
In retrospect, I think Zach just sort of stumbled badly with that one-two “Bonus Feature” fiasco. I’m almost sorry I pointed out the whole sequel/pirates thing last week.
Crap. Well, Spielberg better be watching his own show, and can spot the creativity in Mr. Lipovsky, or some other movie mogul is gonna swoop in and take him under their wing.
Zach, I’ll be watching for you, dude.

So tonight’s shorts all took off from the logline, a man wakes up in a dress, and can’t remember the night before.

MY FAVORITE: Adam Stein’s “Army Guy”
Sgt. Joe wakes up in a dress, and is constantly accosted by Candy, who wants to marry him, but Joe’s too busy tracking down the Russian scoundrel Dmitri, who also apparently has a thing for girly clothes…
Hands down the most ambitious short tonight, and the clear winner (all three judges thought so too). Though the reveal wasn’t really a surprise, and the film does owe a lot to Joe Dante (recalling Small Soldiers and Dante’s “It’s a Good Life“ segment from Twilight Zone: The Movie), Adam still delivers a good, solid, and fun piece.

Will Bigham’s “The Yes Men”
The big boss wakes up in his office in a dress, and all the lackies and the sycophants take note.
A great, absurd look at the working environment and just how far people are willing to go to get ahead, Will’s entry is the only short to pretty much sidestep the “why” of the dress and focus on the effects of it on the characters around it (as opposed to the character in it).

Sam Friedlander’s “Dress For Success”
A lecherous, chauvinist boss is taught a lesson by three female employees.
The short starts out good, with some Saw overtones, but stumbles into 9 to 5 territory, diluting the entire affair. (Guest judge F. Gary Gray rightly points out that the two tones don’t quite mesh.)
The punchline was okay though, and was quite possibly the reason why it played better for me than Jason’s short…

MY LEAST FAVORITE: Jason Epperson’s “Oh, Boy.”
A man wakes up in a dress on a suburban lawn, with explosives strapped to his waist. He’s then ordered to do ridiculous things, or else, boom.
Again, Jason doesn’t do it for me, and the ending he delivers (the best of a dozen, or so he claims) just plays like one of those hokey Hollywood, Hey, look! No one got hurt and no one died in this movie (even if, by all rights, they should have) endings.

So these are the shorts that are gonna determine who the Final Three are, and if past experience has taught me anything (just look at last week’s results), Jason will slide into Final Three like a greased pig.
So… I don’t really want to think about who’s going home next. Let’s just all be surprised next week.

As I mentioned above, tonight’s guest judge was F. Gary Gray, who brought us Friday, The Italian Job, and The Negotiator. Of that sampling of Gray’s work, I’ve only seen The Italian Job, which was one of those okay Hollywood heist films. You know, popcorn entertainment. But hey, at least Gray comes across a lot better than Michael Bay does.

Next week: Final Three.

(Contestant image courtesy of thelot.com; F. Gary Gray image courtesy of dga.org.)

ON THE LOT
Episode 8
Comedy Night

So either Spielberg and Burnett are merciful, or they just wanted to maximize that one hour for the week’s short films, ‘cause this time out, they apparently visited the contestants Wednesday last week and delivered the message that Jessica had the least number of votes.
Too bad, considering I thought there was something to the execution of “The Orchard.” And I do think Jess is a better director than some of the others left…
And on that note…

6 comedy shorts written, shot, and edited in 5 days.
Roll ‘em.

MY FAVORITE: Zach Lipovsky’s “Die Hardly Working”
That title alone takes the cake.
Bored office drones wage all-out war with each other, and Zach proves that with a winning concept, great camera angles, excellent sound effects, and effectively humourous performances, you don’t really need special effects (or the hefty budget those effects entail).

Will Bigham’s “Nerve Endings”
My favorite from Will so far, this one shakes up his image of the “charming” and “whimsical” filmmaker with a black comedy about a doctor, brain surgery, and an intern.
Yes, it’s got the kind of laughs that scream, “Oh, that is so wrong,” but this one’s a whole lot funnier than some TV hospital comedies out there.
And that is a killer punchline.

Shalini Kantayya’s “Dr. In-Law”
Funny little story about antagonistic in-laws at a doctor’s check-up.
For someone who thinks comedy’s out of her comfort zone, Shalini does a bang-up job here. I think this one’s my favorite from her too.

Hilary Graham’s “Under The Gun”
This one surprised me, considering I thought it was more effective than this week’s short from Adam (one of my favorites in the competition, while Hilary has had two of her previous shorts on my Un-Favorites shortlist).
A mother and her desperate daughter hold up a sperm bank: quirky concept that could actually sell in Hollywood as a feature film, and though I did have some problems with the pacing and editing, this one’s definitely Hilary’s best too.

Adam Stein’s “Discovering The Wheels”
High concept: a car alarm remote somehow sends a car back into the past, where some cavemen give ‘er a spin. Car then gets ‘ported back to the present, cavemen in tow.
Maybe this was a little too ambitious for a short, but this was definitely Adam’s weakest work in the competition so far.
Not that it was bad, mind you. It just wasn’t funny enough.

MY LEAST FAVORITE: David May’s “How To Have A Girl”
A couple want to have a child, but are at odds about the preferred gender.
The central conceit isn’t enough to sustain this short, which devolves into a wrestling match that seems longer than it actually is.
Ultimately, not very funny. (But at least, not an Un-Favorite.)

Pretty interesting batch of shorts tonight, with that Hilary surprise somewhere in there. I may not be as enamored and effusive as the judges were about “Under The Gun,” but it does prove Hilary can direct something that I’d actually be okay with seeing a second time.

Tonight’s guest judge, Mark Waters, who debuted with The House of Yes, and has since moved steadily towards the Hollywood mainstream with the Freaky Friday remake, Mean Girls, and Just Like Heaven. (It’s interesting to note that The House of Yes was the film Adrianna didn’t mention in her intro.)
Next up for Waters: enter the wonderfully lucrative world of kidlit adaptations, with The Spiderwick Chronicles. (With an interesting cast that includes: David Strathairn, Joan Plowright, Mary-Louise Parker, and Freddie Highmore.)

Next week: Horror Night.
Yeah!

(Contestant image courtesy of thelot.com; Mark Waters image courtesy of notesfromhollywood.com.)

ON THE LOT
Episode 7

So, Marty’s sent home.
That was a bit of a surprise, and quick, as the news broke at the top of the show. Abrupt, but I guess ultimately, merciful, as two contestants didn’t have to endure the entire show before finding out whose time was up.
I did expect though that Kenny would go first, before Marty, given Kenny’s clearly non-blockbuster, non-mainstream brand of filmmaking.
And the other funny thing about Marty getting the least number of votes: how many blockbusting Hollywood thrillers out there are heaps of flash and style with the substance quotient—if any—coming in way behind? You’d think that there’d be a sizeable contingent backing Marty up. Unless it was Marty’s `tude that did him in.
Which brings me to a little something I’ve noticed.
I realize this is a reality show and there’ll always be a certain element of this going on, but some contestants are just playing up to the audience, when a lot of the time, they should just let the work speak for itself without having to try and garner votes by pushing buttons. Define yourself through your work and not your press, people.
And with that, let’s get on to this week’s batch of shorts.

Interesting batch tonight, and again, no Un-Favorite, so let’s kick it off, shall we?

MY FAVORITE: Zach Lipovsky’s “Sunshine Girl”
Another solid triumph for the wiz kid, this one is a heartbreakingly magical tale that manages to capture that elusive feeling of childhood in three achingly short and wondrous minutes. And the little girl gives one of the best performances of the night.
(Just go to thelot.com and check this one out.)

Will Bigham’s “Glass Eye”
Like Will’s “Lucky Penny,” this one’s a nice little charmer about a man, his glass eye, and his dog. Props to Will’s wife, who sings Rigoletto in the background. (At least, Garry Marshall said it was Rigoletto, so I’m taking his word for it.)

Jessica Brillhart’s “The Orchard”
A horror short about a guy cutting a tree down to size.
Believe it or not, this one could have been a contender for My Favorite, but it lacked a punchline with teeth.
I mean, I get Jessica’s point, and the short looked great and she does manage to build mood and get some tension going, but I kept on hoping that tree would just b!tchslap the dude something fierce. (Or, you know, Evil Dead him.)

Jason Epperson’s “Blood Born”
Definitely better than Jason’s “Getta Rhoom,” this one’s about a drug addict who’s in a spot of trouble with some unsavoury people. Oh, and by the way, apparently, his blood can cure people of disease.
Interesting premise, even if the look was like bargain basement Marty Martin. And I get the irony too, that this gift is given to a lowlife scumbag and how that can rob the entire world of a miracle.
But the lead actor just didn’t have the chops, and Jason’s editing could use a little more work.

MY LEAST FAVORITE: Mateen Kemet’s “Lost”
Like last week’s “Beeline,” this wasn’t a bad short.
It was actually a rather good one, with some heavy mature material being dealt with (a couple confront some unresolved issues from their break-up). The dialogue was good, and the performances were better (along with the “Sunshine Girl,” the best of the night), but it just didn’t seem to have an ending that felt like an ending. (Or, as Carrie Fisher put it, “a third act.”)
We’re presented with the situation, but all we see are two people flapping their lips at a restaurant.
How do we know that the guy really has changed and that he’s got his priorities straight now? Because he says so.
How do we know that the girl really was being taken for granted and not just the really needy, clingy type? Because she says so.
Would it have helped if it had had a flashback montage of the couple in better times, with manipulative “cue the drama moments with some sad piano music playing” bits? Maybe, maybe not.
But at least we could have left that damned table.

Next week, six new comedy shorts.

Parting shot: I’m glad to see Kenny’s still in the game, though now, there’s no Marty for him to be the anti-Marty to…

Parting shot 2: It was also great to see Wes Craven, and though it’s been awhile since I’ve thoroughly enjoyed a film he directed—Scream 2? Man, that was a while back—he’s one of those horror film icons who can sometimes still pull it out of the bag.
(I did enjoy Feast, on which he was an executive producer, as well as the Pulse remake, for which he wrote the screenplay. By the same token though, I did not enjoy The Hills Have Eyes 2 remake (review in Archive: April 2007), which he also produced and co-wrote the screenplay for…)

(Contestant image courtesy of thelot.com; Wes Craven image courtesy of geocities.com.)

ON THE LOT
Box Office Results 1

It alarms me that all 3 of my Un-Favorites from last night survived the cut. (Is this where my personal tastes diverge from those of the American viewing/voting public?)
It doubly alarms me that Phil Hawkins was sent home. “Please Hold” may not have been on my Favorites short list, but it looked great and was still pretty funny, funnier than the shorts of some of the other directors who squeezed through to the next round. Does this actually mean “Wacky Alley Cab” or “Bus #1” was funnier in the eyes of the voting public? Errr…

I also thought Claudia La Bianca’s “Blind Date” was visually interesting, so it’s odd that she went home, when other shorts (like, ahem, “Bus #1”) weren’t particularly inspired as far as their visuals were concerned.

And though I did love Marty Martin’s “The Big Bad Heist,” placing him alongside Carolina de San Martin just made the fact that he submitted a trailer instead of a short film with an actual story seem like a glaring, unfair oversight. De San Martin’s “Deliver Me” may not have been the funniest short, but at least it displayed a single situation, as opposed to a bunch of cool money shots (which is really what a trailer is all about).
But hey, Marty, “The Big Bad Heist” was great. Really. “24 angry little ninjas.” Classic.
Boiling it down to you and Carolina in front of the television audience was in all probability the producer’s choice, so we’re all good.

On the other side of the coin, only one of my favorites (Zach Lipovsky’s “Danger Zone”) was in the top 3. The other two were Will Bigham’s “Lucky Penny” and Jason Epperson’s “Getta Rhoom.”
I enjoyed the former, so that’s cool, but Epperson’s “nerd” really did seem off the mark. I just hope that Epperson can come up with better stuff in the next challenge.

Which is what I also hope the 3 directors on my Un-Favorites short list last night—Jessica Brillhart, Hilary Graham, and Kenny Luby—do as well. Based on the comedy shorts, I honestly think Phil Hawkins is a better director than either Graham or Luby; Brillhart is arguable, as I have a feeling I haven’t seen what she’s really capable of yet.

So on that note, here’s the final 15:

Adam Stein, 29, freelance film editor, born in Miami, FL, currently living in Los Angeles
Andrew Hunt, 31, promo producer from Minneapolis, MN, raised in Pittsburgh, PA
David May, 23, admissions counselor living in Santa Ana, CA, but grew up in Aurora, CO
Hilary Graham, 37, stay-at-home wife and mom who lives in Francestown, NH, and raised in Chelmsford, MA
Jason Epperson, 30, owner of film production company, born and raised in Winchester, KY
Jessica Brillhart, 22, computer specialist, grew up in York, PA, currently living in Brooklyn, NY
Kenny Luby, 28, freelance director and painter, born and raised in Owego, NY
Marty Martin, 26, creative director of a multimedia company, born and raised in Seattle, WA
Mateen Kemet, 41, teacher, currently living in Los Angeles, CA, raised in the Bronx, NY
Sam Friedlander, 28, web producer, living in Santa Monica, CA, raised in Westchester, NY
Shalini Kantayya, 30, freelance director, raised in Hartford, CT, currently living in Brooklyn, NY
Shira-Lee Shalit, 38, acting teacher, born in Johannesburg, South Africa, now living in New York
Trever James, 24, film editor, currently living in Los Angeles, CA, and raised in Great Falls, MT
Will Bigham, 31, film editor, originally from Canyon, TX, currently living in Glendale, CA
Zach Lipovsky, 23, special effects editor from Vancouver, BC, Canada

And before I go, I have to ask, would it kill Adrianna to announce, “Next week, on On The Lot…”?
I mean, part of the fun of American Idol is the anticipation of, “Can Contestant X handle Disco Night?” or “How will Contestant Y do an Elvis?” As it is, I’m in the dark as to what’s coming next, and I can’t even seem to find that information on the website. (Or am I looking in all the wrong places?)

(Contestant images courtesy of thelot.com.)

ON THE LOT
Auditions Round 2

So we are witness to the continued clash of egos and styles in two particular groups, which invariably ends in the elimination of one director from each group: Jeff Siebenick (the big guy who kept on getting in the face of the smaller guy, Marty Martin), and Hannah Sink (who, along with fellow director Jessica Brillhart, bumped heads with Kenny “I’m so proud I never went to film school” Luby).

With guest judge Jon Avnet in tow, Carrie Fisher and Brett Ratner run through the 12 short films, heaping praise on “Wilted” (by Jarrett Conaway, Jason Epperson, and Tamela D’Amico; watch it on the website) and “Time Out” (by fx wiz Zach Lipovsky, Sam Friedlander, and Adam Stein; though we get to see portions of it on the episode, you really should see the entire film too).
And though I love “Wilted,” “Time Out” really does rachet up the stakes, as these guys had the balls to go with an idea that pretty much relied on special effects, and actually pulled it off in the insanely constrictive time limit.
So right now, in my books, these are 6 directors I’m keeping my eye on.

Now, as for the show itself, I’m enjoying it, but my chief complaint is that there’s too much going on, so much so that we really don’t get to see a lot, and you’re forced to go on-line just to see what the judges sometimes refer to.
The thing is, when I watch a television show, I don’t want to have to be forced to go elsewhere for everything to make sense to me. I feel that the TV show itself should be able to stand alone and give me all I need to enjoy the On The Lot viewing experience.
I mean, it’s not like these were particularly long short films. They were 2 and a half minutes each, so that comes to 30 minutes total. Would it have hurt Fox to have had a second 1-hour long episode, just so the audience could see all 12 films, instead of the snippets we saw in this episode?
Hopefully, when the field gets whittled down further, then On The Lot can settle down to actually showing us both the directors, as well as their work, in greater detail.

So we left the 24 remaining directors with a new challenge: with 30 minutes of prep time, they’re tasked to direct and shoot a 1-page script in 1 hour. The shorts resulting from this challenge will determine which 18 will go on to next week’s first “Film Premiere” episode. Running 2 hours, it’ll showcase the short films the remaining 18 directors initially submitted, that got them into that field of 50 we saw in the first episode.
(Now, how we get from the 24 of episode 2 to the 18 of episode 3, I’m not entirely sure, but I can only assume we’ll see the 6 eliminations in the initial part of next week’s 2-hour show.)
That’s followed by a “Box Office” results show the following day, where we learn the results of the voting, and who gets sent home.

The remaining 24 directors, as of the end of episode 2:

Adam Stein, 29, freelance film editor, born in Miami, FL, currently living in Los Angeles
Andrew Hunt, 31, promo producer from Minneapolis, MN, raised in Pittsburgh, PA
Brent M., 34, freelancer producer, born and raised in Dallas, TX
Carolina Z., 36, commercial director, originally from Santander, Spain, currently living in Los Angeles, CA
Claudia L., 28, painter and graphic artist, born in Bagheria, Sicily, Italy, currently lives in Miami, FL
David M., 23, admissions counselor living in Santa Ana, CA, but grew up in Aurora, CO
Dean L., 36, writer/director, living in Los Angeles , CA , originally from New York City
Hilari S., 40, independent filmmaker living in Los Angeles, CA, raised in Chicago, Atlanta and NYC
Hilary G., 37, stay-at-home wife and mom who lives in Francestown, NH, and raised in Chelmsford, MA
Jarrett Conaway, 24, graduate student living in Los Angeles, originally from Virginia Beach, VA
Jason Epperson, 30, owner of film production company, born and raised in Winchester, KY
Jessica Brillhart, 22, computer specialist, grew up in York, PA, currently living in Brooklyn, NY
Justin L., 24, digital post-production engineer, born and raised in Orange County, CA
Kenny Luby, 28, freelance director and painter, born and raised in Owego, NY
Marty Martin, 26, creative director of a multimedia company, born and raised in Seattle , WA
Mateen K., 41, teacher, currently living in Los Angeles, CA, raised in the Bronx, NY
Phil H., 22, born and raised in Manchester, England, works as a freelance director
Sam Friedlander, 28, web producer, living in Santa Monica, CA, raised in Westchester, NY
Shalini K., 30, freelance director, raised in Hartford, CT, currently living in Brooklyn, NY
Shira-Lee S., 38, acting teacher, born in Johannesburg, South Africa, now living in New York
Tamela D’Amico, 27, singer, actress and filmmaker living in Los Angeles, raised in Deer Park, NY
Trever J. 24, film editor, currently living in Los Angeles, CA, and raised in Great Falls, MT
Will Bigham, 31, film editor, originally from Canyon, TX, currently living in Glendale, CA
Zach Lipovsky, 23, special effects editor from Vancouver, BC, Canada

The list is from the On The Lot website, and for some reason, the contestants’ last names appear only as initials. I supplied the last names of the directors I’m aware of at the moment.

(Images courtesy of thecinemasource.com [Spielberg] and cbs.com [Burnett].)