LOST
Season 4 Episodes 13 & 14
“There’s No Place Like Home” (Parts Two and Three)
Written by Damon Lindelof & Carlton Cuse
Directed by Jack Bender
(WARNING: SPOILERS)

Given the density of events (and resultant chaotic emotions left in those events’ wakes) in this season’s 2-hour finale, I opted to break this into 2 parts, if only to make it a more manageable read.

[1 of 2]

Okay. So the “Frozen Donkey Wheel” has been revealed to the world, and we now know who emerged on the top of the Casket Candidate List (my top three: Michael, Ben, or Locke).
Given the density of events in this season’s 2-hour finale, you’ll perhaps understand if I may inadvertently leave some bit or other out.
Hopefully though, senility won’t get too much of an upper hand…
Into the breach then…


Wondrously, majestically, that spectacular final moment from last season’s finale, comes all the way around the past dozen episodes, and segues into the opening moments of this season’s finale, as Kate actually stops the car in response to Beardo Jack’s plea of returning to the Island.
They have another heart-wrenching conversation, which firmly establishes that it’s been three years since they got off the Island, and that, no way is Kate ever going back there.
Ever.

Now, I’ll have to break protocol and leave off from the flashforward for the moment, and take on the Island goings-on first.

Zodiac Daniel returns to the Beach for the second group to be ferried to the Kahana, and he tells Miles and Charlotte that they should both be on the Zodiac when this trip leaves.
Miles though, opts to stay on the Island (hmmmm…), and is actually surprised that Charlotte seems to be willing to leave the Island as well, considering how hard she’s worked to “get back here” (double hmmmm…).
True enough, when Daniel asks Charlotte again, she says she’s staying, and says something about not yet having found the place where she was born (triple hmmmm…).
So Daniel reluctantly leaves Charlotte, and when Juliet says she’s staying too, since she promised she wouldn’t leave till everyone was safe (did she? I can’t recall that… Go, Ju-Ju! Go!! Can’t you see that look Daniel has? And Daniel, you moron! Tell her!!! Graaarrr!!!!)
So Idiot Zodiac Daniel zooms off…


Meanwhile, Richard and the Others finding Kate and Sayid last episode turns out to be a gambit to rescue Ben.
Even as Keamy is bringing Ben back to the helicopter, where they find Frank still trying to break out of the handcuffs, Kate runs into the clearing, supposedly escaping the Others’ clutches.
The mercenaries fan out into the jungle, but it’s a trap, of course, and they’re picked off one by one, as Kate and Ben scamper off into the jungle, Keamy in hot pursuit. Keamy’s then tackled by Sayid, and a brutal tussle kicks in. It looks like Keamy’s gonna break Sayid’s neck, when Keamy’s shot in the back (by Richard, if I recall correctly).
He’s apparently dead. (Riiiiiighhhht.)
Ben asks what the arrangement was, and Richard says, They help us, and we let them get off the Island.
Ben says, Fair enough. Take the helicopter.


Meanwhile, Jack and Sawyer find Hurley (relieving himself, if I’m not mistaken).
Locke (who can’t find the damned flower Ben mentioned) then attempts to draw Jack into a conversation, to try and convince him that he’s not supposed to leave the Island.
Doc Obsesso doesn’t listen, of course.
Locke, seeing that he can’t change Jack’s mind, makes the plea for the Great Lie, so as to protect the Island. Doc Obsesso scoffs, It’s an island. It doesn’t need to be protected.
Locke says, It’s not an Island. It’s a place where miracles happen.
Naturally, Doc Obsesso claims there are no such things as miracles (despite having gotten his future ex-wife-to-be to walk again, when all indications pointed to the fact that he’d failed to help her)…
Jack is just leaving, when Ben returns. Ben then tells Jack about Kate and Sayid being at the helicopter, and that he should leave if he still intends to.
Jack watches as Ben and Locke get into an elevator and descend into the real Orchid Station.


Jack, Sawyer, and Hurley reach the helicopter, and even as they’re all getting aboard, I’m thinking, So what’s gonna happen to Sawyer (since he isn’t part of the Oceanic Six)?!
And when Hurley asks Jack if they’re coming back to look for Claire, and Jack says, Sure, I’m also thinking, Damn you, Desmond! Where’s your Claire and Aaron getting on a helicopter flash?! Damn you, Lindelof and Cuse! Where’s that flaaaassssshhhh?!?
The answer to the Sawyer question comes soon enough though, as it appears a bullet hit the helicopter and they’re leaking fuel, so if they don’t land soon, they go ker-splash.
Needing to lighten the load, so they can get to the freighter faster, everything that isn’t bolted down gets tossed into the ocean, including… Sawyer!
Actually, when Frank says he’ll be happier if they lose another 200 pounds, there’s a sad shot of Hurley (who’s probably having a traumatic flashback to the whole “dock collapse-due-to-my-weight” thing), before Sawyer whispers something in Kate’s ear (presumably the favour she attends to later on, presumably involving Cassidy and Sawyer’s daughter), liplocks with Kate (which Jack sees with his own Obsesso eyes), then jumps out of the helicopter!
Jack promises they’ll send the helicopter back to look for Sawyer once they’re safely on the freighter. (Riiiiiighhhht.)


Meanwhile, back on the freighter, where it’s supposed to be safe (damn you, Lindelof and Cuse!), Des, Michael, and Jin try and figure out how to stop the C4 from going ka-blooey.
Even as Des (who had some six months’ experience with explosives during his military stint) determines that the C4 will go ka-blooey when some device or other receives a radio signal, Michael figures they can freeze the battery with liquid nitrogen to prevent—or at the very least, slow—the chemical reaction that will trigger the ka-blooey-ness.
(Guessing though that that thingy on Keamy’s arm is what’s supposed to trigger the ka-blooey-ness, why hasn’t the freighter blown sky high yet? Because Sun and Aaron are still on it! Which also means that Keamy’s still alive, despite those bullets to the back…)


And, true enough, who should take the down elevator to the Orchid, but Keamy and his body armor!
But first, Locke is shown the initial portion of the Orchid Orientation video, which seems to indicate that, as Ben succinctly puts it, “time-traveling bunnies” are indeed possible! (Thus, we have confirmation that there is actual physical time-traveling going on in the Lost-verse.)
According to the video, “The Vault” (built adjacent to a “pocket of negatively-charged exotic matter,” where the subject meant to do the time-traveling is to be placed) is also supposed to be kept clear of any metallic objects, but even as Locke is learning this, Ben the Busy Bug-Eyed Bee is placing everything metallic that he can find in the station, into the Vault!
Which is when Keamy arrives.
There’s a conversation, and a scuffle, and when Keamy unwisely goads Ben about Alex’s death, Ben goes postal and stabs the baddie… despite Keamy already having explained about the dead man’s trigger on his arm, and the freighter’s instant ka-blooey-ness, should his heart stop beating.
Locke tries to save the schmuck’s life (so as to prevent the freighter instantly going ka-blooey), but he fails…

… Keamy croaks…


… and back at the Kahana, the light goes red, giving them all about 5 minutes to get off it before the impending ka-blooey.
So Michael valiantly stays to continue freezing the battery to slow the chemical reaction. He tells Des and Jin to go, though Jin stays by Michael’s side.
Even as Des gets to the upper deck, the helicopter comes in, needing to land badly, to refuel.
In the few short minutes of the helicopter actually being on the freighter’s deck, they do their best to plug the bullet hole, pump as much fuel in as they can, and scramble back on board the helicopter.
Below deck, Michael runs out of insta-freeze, and tells Jin, Go, you’re a father now. Take care of your wife and baby, so Jin takes off for the upper deck.
Meanwhile, Sun wants to go below deck to get Jin, but Kate tells her, I’ll go, you take Aaron to the helicopter.
But Jack grabs Kate and says, I’m not leaving without you, and drags her back to the helicopter.
Frank takes off, the Oceanic Six and Des on-board (and I’m thinking, Oh no, what happens to Des?), even as Jin makes it onto the deck, and Sun’s screaming to go back for Jin, and Christian appears to Michael and dismisses him (“You can go now, Michael”), and the Kahana goes ka-blooey.
And poor Sun just keeps on screaming, till Jack tells her, He’s gone, and I’m thinking, Oh no, Sun’ll never forgive him…


So the freighter goes ka-blooey, taking Michael with it (he was right next to the C4, right? This also effectively takes him off the Casket Candidate List…), along with all the poor sock puppets ferried there to their doom by Idiot Zodiac Daniel.
As for Jin, he could have conceivably been blown off the freighter by the explosion, or am I being hideously naïve here?

Back on the beach, Sawyer rises from the sea, shirtless now (and a host of female Lost fans shriek with mad glee), to find Ju-Ju getting sloshed on Dharma rum.
So what are we celebrating? he asks.
I’m not celebrating, Ju-Ju replies, pointing to the column of smoke out at sea.
Our boat? Sawyer asks.
It was, says poor, poor Ju-Ju, who has, yet again missed her chance to get off the Island…

COUNTDOWN: 35.

(Lost OS courtesy of impawards.com.)

LOST
Season 4 Episode 12
“There’s No Place Like Home” (Part One)
Written by Damon Lindelof & Carlton Cuse
Directed by Stephen Williams
(WARNING: SPOILERS)


Frakkin’ Admiral Cain works for Oceanic!

Sorry.

Okay, flashforward.
We see the Oceanic Six get presented to the press for the first time, and hear the official cover-up story, as delivered by Karen Decker (Michelle Forbes, a.k.a. Battlestar Galactica’s Admiral Psycho-B!tch Cain).
We then track the Six as they re-assimilate into society.

Nadia makes her way to the press conference, and is reunited with Sayid. (Of course, we all know how that’s gonna end…)


Using the “very significant” settlement paid her by Oceanic, Sun purchases a controlling interest in her father’s company, and in a fantastic scene, she confronts her evil da, and says, You’re the reason why we were on that plane. Two people are responsible for my husband’s death, and you are one of them.
She goes on to say, I will have my baby, and then we will discuss what is to become of our company. (Sun’s really scary when you cross her…)


Hugo is given a surprise birthday party, with most of the Oceanic Six in attendance (Jack is running late). His pops gives him his birthday gift: the Firebird, which has finally been completed.
As a kind of memorial, Hugo’s da rebuilt it when he’d thought Hugo was gone. Now, it’s Hugo’s. But when he gets in, he sees the speedometer and odometer (is that right?) and they are, naturally, turned to the cursed numbers.
So Hugo loses it and runs off, down the street…

At the memorial for Christian, who should show up, but Claire’s mum, and she tells Jack all.
Your father was in Sydney to see his daughter, who also happened to be on the plane you were on, and her name was Claire…. We can see just how this slams into poor Jack, and the woman, totally oblivious, passes Kate as she leaves the church, and says, You have a beautiful son…


Now, back to the Island, where things get FUBAR right quick, as we careen towards the two-hour season finale.

Much to Juliet’s agony, Jack runs off into the jungle with Kate, to track the NaomiPhone’s signal, which will lead them to the helicopter.
They run into Sawyer, Miles, and Aaron. Jack keeps on going, while Kate is stuck with Aaron, so Sawyer accompanies Jack.
They eventually find the helicopter, and find Frank handcuffed to it. Frank tells them as soon as he’s free, he can fly them to safety, and they should do it before Keamy and his goons get back.
Frank says they’re here for Ben, and they won’t be very nice to anyone else they find with him. Sawyer says, Hugo’s with Ben.
Naturally, Jack and Sawyer go off to rescue Hugo…


By the time Sayid gets the Zodiac to the beach, Kate’s arrived. Kate and Sayid decide to go after Jack, while Daniel volunteers to start ferrying people to the freighter. On the first trip, Sun, Jin, and Aaron.
When Sun and Jin get to the freighter, they see Michael, and understandably, aren’t terribly thrilled to see him.
Michael also gets to fix the engines, but Des finds that there’s a whole lotta C4 on the boat…
Meanwhile, Kate and Sayid follow Jack’s tracks, but end up being taken by Richard and the Others…

Ben, Locke, and Hugo, on the other hand, under orders to “move the Island,” head for the Orchid Station, where Keamy and his goons are already by the time they arrive.
Ben gives Locke very specific instructions to get to the elevator that will bring him down to the real Orchid Station, while Ben, to keep Keamy and his goons distracted, gives himself up to Widmore’s troops…


Well, there we are, and just two hours away from season’s end.
It is, of course, a poignant moment, seeing the Oceanic Six initially reunited with their respective families, made all the more bittersweet since Kate has no one to greet her, as does Sayid (Nadia shows up afterwards), though Hugo does intro Sayid to his parents.


The subsequent Oceanic Six off-Island bits are also an emotional minefield (we know how Sayid’s reunion with Nadia will end; we see Sun the Terrible; and we see the beginning of the decline, for both Hugo and Jack), serving as counterpoint to the Island present bits, which—in keeping with past season wrap-ups—is very much focused on narrative propulsion, of getting to the finale with as much momentum as humanly possible.

COUNTDOWN: 36.

(Images courtesy of ABC, ew.com, and variety.com.)

LOST
Season 4 Episode 11
“Cabin Fever”
Written by Elizabeth Sarnoff & Kyle Pennington
Directed by Paul Edwards
(WARNING: SPOILERS)


“But you’ll understand soon enough that there are consequences to being chosen, because destiny, John, is a fickle b!tch.”
-- Ben

Hoo-boy!
Okay, Locke flashback first.
Turns out that John was a premature baby, brought into the world at 6 months because Emily got hit by a car as she was on her way to see John’s evil conman da. (Ironically enough, this installment is this season’s Mother’s Day episode…)
Apparently though, John was meant to survive, as he survived infections and other assorted medical troubles to emerge from the incubator, only to have Emily chicken out, thus resulting in him being put up for adoption.
But who should be at the hospital but Richard! Looking as young as he does on the Island present!


Years later, Richard visits John at a foster home, and says he represents a school for very gifted children. Richard has John take a test, asking him to choose from a number of objects those that he’s already owned.
John picks a compass, a small container of what appears to be sand, and, much to Richard’s disapproval, a knife.
This was apparently the wrong choice, as Richard quickly leaves, taking the objects with him.

Years later again, and John’s in high school and being bullied and beaten up. He’s told (by someone who I assume is the principal) that he’s been invited to a science camp in Portland, run by Mittelos.
But John says he isn’t a scientist. He likes sports and hunting and other physical pursuits. He’s told that he shouldn’t resist who he’s meant to be. He’s told that he can’t be a prom king, that he can’t be a quarterback, that he can’t be a superhero.
John says (and I’m sure you know what’s coming), Don’t tell me what I can’t do.

Years later again, after getting pushed out of that hotel window by his evil conman da, and while he’s still clearly despondent as he struggles with his physical rehabilitation, he’s visited in hospital by sinister Mr. Abaddon, who’s apparently the one who gave John the idea to go on the walkabout.
Abaddon tells John, You’ll go on that walkabout like I did, and you’ll discover who you really are, and when we meet again, you’ll owe me one.


And, back on the Freighter…
Keamy finds out it was Michael who told Ben all about him, and Keamy tries to shoot Michael, but his gun jams… (Guess the Island still needs Michael.)
Keamy breaks out Widmore’s second protocol, which apparently goes, “torch the Island.”
Gault sees this is all spiraling out of control, so he gives Sayid the Zodiac, so Sayid can start ferrying people to the boat. Desmond though, says he’s not setting foot on the Island again, and that he’ll wait on the boat for Penny.
So Sayid Zodiacs his way back to the Island.
Meanwhile, Michael tells Frank that Keamy’s on his way back to the Island to kill everyone on it. So Frank refuses to fly them back, to which Keamy responds by slitting the poor doctor’s throat and throwing him overboard, where his corpse will presumably float through some temporal anomaly so it can be found on the beach two episodes ago. (I just love this show!)
Keamy then warns Frank he’s ready to kill someone else if Frank doesn’t fly the helicopter.
Gault arrives and holds Keamy at gunpoint, but is distracted by some device strapped to Keamy’s arm. Keamy then shoots the captain, convincing Frank he does need to fly the helicopter.
But Frank surreptitiously places a NaomiPhone into a bag, which he later drops onto the beach as the helicopter flies over. (I assume Frank did this without Keamy noticing.)

On the beach, Jack (who is up and about against Juliet’s express orders to stay put, lest his stitches open up) finds the NaomiPhone, and thinks they’re being asked to follow the helicopter’s path.


Over with the cabin hunters, Locke has a dream where he meets dead Horace Goodspeed (Doug Hutchison), who John sees building the cabin. Dream Horace tells John to find him, so he can find the cabin.
John then leads them to the mass grave where the Dharma corpses are, and finds a map of the cabin in the pocket of Horace’s overalls. They then trek to the cabin, and when they get there, both Ben and Hugo opt to let John enter the cabin by himself.
Inside, John sees Christian (who admits that he isn’t Jacob, but that he’s representing him), and Claire, who seems to be acting very strangely, casually claiming, I’m with him. (This is so not the Claire we know and love…)
John’s confused by Claire’s presence (as are we), but Christian says, The Boat People are almost here. Ask the question that really matters.
John asks, What do I have to do to save the Island?

Later, John exits the cabin, and when Ben asks if he was told what needed to be done, John says, He wants us to move the Island.


Ho-kay… move the Island…
Riiiight…
And what is up with Claire?! Did that exploding house back at the Barracks do something more to her than just knock her for a loop? Is she really (like her father) now one of those dead people other people still see? What about Des’ “Claire and Aaron get on a helicopter” vision?! Did Charlie sacrifice himself, not in vain exactly, but not for the person he thought he was doing it for? Graaarrr!!!

With all the neat stuff in this episode though, arguably the most tantalizing scene here is the test Richard gives Locke.
And the interesting parallel between Richard apparently sensing something special about Locke, in (perhaps subconsciously) the same way Locke sensed something special about Walt…
And next up, in what appears to be yet another temporal anomaly, the season’s two-part, three-hour ender…

COUNTDOWN: 37.

(Images courtesy of ABC, ew.com, and usatoday.com [Keamy].)

LOST
Season 4 Episode 10
“Something Nice Back Home”
Written by Adam Horowitz & Edward Kitsis
Directed by Stephen Williams
(WARNING: SPOILERS)

WTF?! She just disappeared into the jungle?!

Sorry.

Okay.
Flash-forward first.

We get a post-trial Jack and Kate, and apparently, Jack took Kate up on her offer and has evidently come to terms with seeing Aaron, so the three of them are currently playing at Happy Families, with Alice in Wonderland the bedtime reading of choice.
But the old obsessive Jack is still around, as he catches Kate on the phone with someone, and he clearly suspects something’s going on that he’s not supposed to know about.
Jack then gets a glimpse of Christian, and gets called down to Santa Rosa, where Hugo’s stopped taking his meds. Hugo tells Jack of Charlie’s visits, and says Charlie has a message for Jack: You’re not supposed to raise him. (Really creepy, this, particularly since it purportedly came from Charlie’s mouth, and it seems to imply that the “him” is Aaron.)
Hugo also tells Jack that Charlie said someone would be visiting Jack, soon.

As if to disprove the pronouncements of Hugo’s “Charlie,” Jack asks Kate to marry him, and she says… Yes.
But Jack sees Christian at work and this shakes him to the core, so he asks a fellow doctor to write him a prescription for some meds, claiming the stress from the engagement is getting to him.
Kate arrives at home to find a sloshed Jack, who confronts her about where she’s been. She says she had some “errands” to run, but Jack doggedly persists, and Kate says to leave it, but Dr. Obsesso is back in the house, and it comes out: she was doing something for Sawyer. (I suspect something for his daughter, given that Kate already met Cassidy before.)
This pisses off Dr. Obsesso, who pointedly says, Sawyer isn’t here. He chose to stay behind. I’m the one who came back. I’m the one who’s here. I’m the one who saved you.
Kate says, I don’t want you anywhere near my son if you’re going to be like this.
Jack, angrily, He isn’t even related to you!
Enter a sleepy Aaron from screen left, and Kate tearily watches Jack walk out.

Now.
Back to the Island.


The discomfort Jack was taking some meds for in a previous episode turns out to be a troubled appendix that’s fit to burst.
So Juliet tasks Sun and Jin to return to the medical station to retrieve surgical instruments and medical supplies for the instant Island appendectomy. But since the Kwons aren’t familiar with the instruments and medical paraphernalia, Daniel (who’s experienced at conducting animal autopsies) volunteers.
No one’s really crazy about the idea, but Daniel manages to persuade them that all he really wants to do is help, so he and Charlotte go with the Kwons.
In retrieving the surgical instruments, we learn that, a) Daniel likes Charlotte, and b) Charlotte knows Korean.
Jin picks up on the Brit B!tch’s fluency with the language, and confronts her one-on-one about it, finally getting her to admit she does understand Korean by threatening to break Daniel’s fingers.
Jin asks Charlotte to make sure that when the helicopter returns, that Sun is on it so she can leave the Island. Charlotte apparently agrees.

Meanwhile, Jack requests that he be awake during the surgery so he can talk Juliet through it. He wants Kate to be there, to hold up a mirror so he can view the proceedings, while under a local anesthetic.
Things get hairy during the appendectomy though, and Juliet is forced to have Jack chloroformed.
The procedure looks to be a success, and while Juliet is suturing an apparently unconscious Jack, she tells Kate about the Tempest kiss, and that she believes Jack kissed her so he could prove to himself that he wasn’t in love with, ahem, someone else.
Kate thanks Juliet for saving Jack’s life, but after she’s left the tent, Juliet says, I know you’re awake, and awake Jack is…

Meanwhile still, Sawyer, Claire, Aaron, and Miles continue to make their trek back to the beach.
They come upon the site of the ambush and Miles picks up the ghostly whispers of dead Rousseau and Karl, and finds their shallowly buried bodies.
When Miles begins to show an interest in Claire, Sawyer gets protective and warns the angry ghost whisperer to stay away from Claire.
They then run into Frank, who tells them to hide, since Keamy’s right behind him. Keamy’s leading the survivors of Smokey’s attack back to the helicopter. Keamy hears Aaron’s soft cry, and is just barely distracted by Frank, who insists they have to leave before dark. And leave they do.
Later on, in the middle of the night, Claire wakes up to find Aaron missing from her side.
She then sees Christian holding the baby.


The following morning, Sawyer awakens to find Claire missing. Miles says she got up in the middle of the night and walked out into the jungle, with someone she called “Dad.”
Sawyer hears Aaron’s cries, and finds the baby.
But.
There’s.
No.
Sign.
Of.
Claire.

WTF?! She just disappeared into the jungle?!

Okay, so we have the flashforward which puts into motion the events that will lead to the suicidal, pill-popping Jack we saw in Season 3’s finale. That’s a Jack who came this close to having a happily-ever-after with Kate, and is presumably receiving visits from his deceased father.
Poor Dr. Obsesso…
But, while that section had some interesting bits in it, this installment’s real kick in the ‘nads is that cliffhanger, as Claire’s just suddenly not there anymore, having apparently gone off with her dead da.
And what’s with Miles’ interest in Claire? Is there something there that he sees, which Sawyer can’t? (The interest Miles was showing for Claire seemed to be more than a mere attraction sort of thing. Could he have been sensing Christian’s presence around Claire, or is there something else? Something about Aaron, or about Claire herself?)

Other bits that were noteworthy include Rose’s observation that people get well on the Island, and not sick. So why did Jack develop appendicitis?
Is the Island lashing out at Dr. Obsesso for some reason? For using the NaomiPhone to call the terrible Boat People to the Island?
And then there’s the bit with Ju-Ju telling Kate about the Tempest liplock, while knowing full well that Jack wasn’t unconscious, that he would hear everything she said. I felt so bad for Ju-Ju just then, as not only was she making a verbal acknowledgment of her place in the Island quadrangle, but she was also giving Jack his out, if he so wanted it…
Poor Ju-Ju…

Oh, and I loved Rose giving the Brit B!tch attitude. You go, girl! Put that C.S. Lewis harpy in her place!

COUNTDOWN: 38.

(Images courtesy of ABC, impawards.com, and ew.com.)

LOST
Season 4 Episode 9
“The Shape of Things To Come”
Written by Brian K. Vaughan & Drew Goddard
Directed by Jack Bender
(WARNING: SPOILERS)

“I know who you are... what you are. I know that everything you have you took from me.”
-- Charles Widmore to Ben

Okay, this was a pretty moving installment, the first post-strike episode following the 6-week break, so let’s kick off from the Island, shall we?

The doctor from the freighter washes ashore, dead, so a plan is cooked up to fix the NaomiPhone just enough so that they can communicate through Morse code; Daniel plays electronics dude, in the absence of Sayid.
But when Daniel does send the query out regarding the doctor, he says the reply is that the helicopter will be by in the morning.
Turns out though that Bernard knows Morse, and says the reply was actually, What are you talking about? The doctor’s fine. (Hmmmm.)
So this blatant lie pisses Jack off, and he asks Daniel straight out, Were you ever supposed to take us off this Island?
And Daniel says, No. (And I’m going, F*cker! You knew about the “find Ben then kill everyone else” plan? I gave you the benefit of the doubt, Danny-boy! F*cker!)
At that point, it just killed me to see Jack as the realization sinks in that using the NaomiPhone was a monumental mistake, just as Locke had warned…
Poor Jack…

Meanwhile, the people who shot both Rousseau and Karl take Alex to the fence and have her disarm it. (So they really are Widmore’s people, and it wasn’t some evil Ben scheme to get rid of the other two people in Alex’s life… Again, sorry, dude.)
But disarming the fence triggers an alarm, which makes a phone in Ben’s house ring, the call interrupting the game of Risk currently underway (where “Australia’s the key to the whole game”; hrrrmmm). When Locke asks Ben about the recorded message (Code 14-J?), Ben says they need to hunker down at his place.
But Claire is over at her house, so Sawyer goes over there. (Locke is about go with Sawyer, when Ben says, You stay by me, because then you’ll be safe. They won’t harm me, and I need you safe because we have to get to Jacob’s cabin together. Locke later on says, But I can’t even find the cabin. Ben replies, But Hugo can.)
As Sawyer makes his way to Claire’s place, three 815 sock puppets are shot. Some bastard then blasts Claire’s house, and I’m going, Bastard! Claire can’t die! Not like that!
Sawyer searches the flaming wreckage, and finds Claire, alive. (Whew. That future Desmond flash—Claire and Aaron getting on a helicopter—has to happen…)
Sawyer carries her to Ben’s house, and Hurley has to break a window for Sawyer and Claire to get inside. (Ben’s already barricaded the door and refuses to open it.)

Within, a debate immediately explodes between Sawyer and Locke, about just tossing Ben over to the invaders, a discussion that’s interrupted by the doorbell.
It’s Miles at the door, with a walkie for Ben. They want to talk, Miles says. They have your daughter.
Ben then talks with one of the goons that we saw on the freighter, Martin Keamy (Kevin Durand, who played half-man, half-dog Joshua on Dark Angel, and Ashton Kutcher’s cellmate Carlos in The Butterfly Effect; he’ll also be seen as Gabriel in Scott Charles Stewart’s upcoming angel smackdown Legion, as well as the Blob in the Wolverine spin-off film), who takes Alex out and threatens to shoot her if Ben doesn’t surrender. Ben makes a counter-proposal, but Keamy says, You’ve got 10 seconds, or I shoot your daughter.
Ben says, She’s not my daughter. I stole her from an insane woman when she was a baby. She’s a pawn, nothing more. She means nothing to me.
BANG.
Alex dies, and seriously, for the first time, I felt sorry for Ben. There’s a look of complete devastation as he stares out the window at his dead adoptive daughter, and he says, He changed the rules. (And I go, What? Is this really just a massive chess game to Ben and Widmore?)

Once Ben gets himself together, he enters some secret chamber (locking everyone else out), and when he emerges, he says, When I give the signal, we’re all going to run to the treeline. (Oh, by the way, Claire’s apparently fine.)
Hurley says, What? Towards the guys with guns?
Ben says, Oh, no. We want to stay as far away from them as possible.
Just then, the house starts to shake, like there’s an earthquake, and when they look out the windows, we see Smokey, making its locomotive noises, as it starts attacking the invaders!
Everyone then runs for the treeline, except for Ben, who says he has to say goodbye to his daughter. (And his moment at dead Alex’s side is such a sad, sad moment. I hate Vaughan and Goddard for making me feel for the monster that is Ben…)

When Ben catches up with Locke and company, Locke says he’s sorry that Alex died. He also calls Ben out on the lie (that he didn’t know what Smokey was).
Ben says, You can ask Jacob what it is when we get to the cabin. (Sigh.)
Sawyer says, Screw that. I’m going to the beach and I’m taking Claire and Hurley with me. Locke pulls out a gun and says, Hugo stays with us.
Sawyer says, No way, and pulls out his gun.
Hurley says, Put down your guns. It’s okay. I’ll go with Locke.
Sawyer doesn’t like that one bit, and warns Locke, You harm so much as one hair on his curly head, I’ll kill you. (Another fantastic moment in this episode, as Sawyer clearly displays his protectiveness over Hurley; earlier on, of course, it was with Claire.)
So Sawyer, Claire, Aaron, and Miles head off to the beach, while Locke, Ben, and Hurley are off to find Jacob’s cabin.

Onward ho, flashforward (though we don’t know that right off.)
Ben finds himself in the Sahara Desert, his arm wounded, in a fleece-lined Dharma jacket (that doesn’t look at all like it was made for desert wear). He then goes into deadly bad-a$$ mode as he kills two armed Bedouins and takes a horse to presumably get to civilization.
We next see him at a hotel, where he checks in under the preferred guest name, “Dean Moriarty.”
He then makes it a point to inquire about the date, and that’s when we find out it’s October 24, 2005, and we’re in a flashforward. (Note that Ben makes it a point to confirm the year, as if, well, he wanted to make sure he was in 2005, and why do you think he’d want to do that? Hrrrm…)
He also sees on the TV, a newsbit about Sayid attending the funeral of his wife! (And the reason why Sayid ended up working for Ben begins to crystallize…)

As it turns out, Sayid found Nadia, only to have her die on him, and according to Ben, the man who killed Nadia was working for Charles Widmore. (He also claims that he used Des’ boat to get off the Island, but that smells fishy…)
Later on, it looks like Ben is tailing the purported Widmore assassin, and it looks like the assassin has just caught Ben, but of course, it’s all a set-up, and Sayid shoots his a$$ dead, till the gun is empty.
Ben then walks away, but Sayid stops him. Ben says, It’s over, Sayid. Walk away and mourn your loss. This isn’t your war.
Sayid says, I spent 8 years looking for the woman I loved and I found her, and these people took her away from me. This is my war too…
(And I’m going, Dammit! Sayid asked for it. Then I think, Oh, no, don’t let this be some despicable manipulation on Ben’s part. Not when I actually felt sorry for him for the first time, ever.)
Ben says, Don’t let your despair turn into anger because it’ll never leave you then. I speak from experience.
(And I’m thinking, Oh please, please mean what you’re saying…)
But Sayid wants to join the war, and asks, Who’s next?
Ben then says, I’ll be in touch, and walks away, and I’m going, Don’t smile. Don’t smile. Don’t—F*cker!
The smug, evil bastard smiled. He played Sayid (and me) like a second-hand fiddle. (And I hate Vaughan and Goddard even more for pulling off these astonishing reversals.)

We then close with a coda in London, as Ben makes his way to Widmore’s digs.
It’s a great face-to-face between these adversaries during which we are made to understand that Widmore believes the Island is his, and that Ben merely usurped it from him.
Widmore asks, Are you here to kill me, Benjamin?
And Ben says, We both know I can’t do that.
Ben then says, But you killed my daughter.
Widmore says, Don’t pretend to be the victim here. You killed your daughter. (And I can only assume he meant, You killed her by not just surrendering when you could have.)
Widmore then asks, So if you’re not here to kill me, what are you here for?
Ben says, I’m here to tell you I’m going to kill your daughter (a very audible gasp from yours truly). “Penny,” is it? I’m going to kill her and then you’ll understand what I feel like and regret changing the rules.
And Ben walks away.

F*cker.

Okay, explosive episode which pretty much turns on the astonishing reversals Vaughan and Goddard pull off, by toying with the audience’s emotions toward Ben.
And of course, now that it’s made clear that Ben is targeting Penny, it’s even more evil, the position the writers have put us in.
On the one hand, we can completely see Ben’s side of it, in that he truly did care for Alex, and since Widmore took his daughter away, it would only be fair that he deprive Widmore of his daughter.
But that daughter is Penny, dammit!
Penny!!!

Then there’s an ill-attired Ben popping up in the Sahara, asking what year it is.
So is there actual physical time-traveling going on in the Lost-verse, or did Ben teleport from someplace else, and just wanted to ensure he hadn’t also inadvertently moved through time?
And poor Sayid, whose happy ending with Nadia was so cruelly taken away off-screen, and who was manipulated so coldly into becoming Ben’s Crying Freeman…

And there better not be any long-term damage from that house explosion Claire found herself in…
I mean, is it just me, or was her survival a little… miraculous? That house was decimated…

COUNTDOWN: 39.

(Images courtesy of ABC, variety.com, and ew.com [images 3 & 4].)

LOST
Season 4 Episode 7
“Ji Yeon”
Written by Edward Kitsis & Adam Horowitz
Directed by Stephen Semel
(WARNING: SPOILERS)

And the neighbours were said to have heard: Bastaaaardds!!!

Okay, let’s do it like this; let’s divvy this up between on the Island, on the freighter, and off the Island…

On the freighter:
Frank takes a whole bunch of canned goods to Sayid and Des, who are under lock and key once more after their unauthorized excursion to the comm room, during which time poor Minkowski did an Eloise.
On guard, Regina in the flesh, portrayed by Zoe Bell. Finally we see Zoe. Only to have her wrap some chains around herself and jump overboard.
Bye bye, Zoe.
WTF?!
And I thought Fisher Stevens came and went…

Anyway, no one even tries to jump in to save Regina, and Sayid and Des finally meet the freighter’s captain, Gault (Grant Bowler), who says that a) a number of his crew have been having some mental issues, as evidenced by Regina’s swan dive; b) there’s a saboteur on board; and c) the ship belongs to one Charles Widmore (so, Ben wasn’t lying about that).
The captain also shows Sayid and Des what is supposed to be the black box recovered from the Oceanic 815 crash, where all those corpses were found, including one that was supposed to be Sayid…
So the captain claims that the man behind the elaborate ruse (which required 324 corpses as props) is one Benjamin Linus…

Returning from their audience with the captain, whom Sayid wryly describes as “surprisingly forthcoming,” they’re moved into a new room, and who do they meet but Kevin Johnson.
You know, Kevin! Who looks exactly like some scummy traitor known as Michael.
Of course, Sayid and Des are on the ball, and don’t let on to the fact that they recognize this schmuck. (Of course, right now, I’m doing some memory scrabbling and trying to recall if Des was sober enough to have remembered Michael…)

On the beach:
Jin and Sun are talking baby names, but Sun doesn’t want to jinx it, so she doesn’t play along. Jin thinks it’s going to be a girl, and wants to name his daughter “Ji Yeon.”
When Kate and company get back, Sun asks what went down, and Kate tells all (I love Sun’s reaction to hearing that Charlotte whacked Kate on the head; go, Sun! Show that Brit b!tch some Korean whoop-a$$!), including the fact that Juliet euphemistically referred to the poison gas factory as a “power station.”

This penchant Juliet has for sometimes avoiding the truth like the plague, gets Sun suspicious once more of the Other woman, and after unsuccessfully trying to get something out of Daniel in regards to their rescue, she gets it into her fool head to go join Locke, because she doesn’t trust these newcomers.
But when Sun needs some prenatal vitamins from Juliet, Juliet is deathly opposed to the idea, since Sun really needs to get off the Island, and quick. But Sun’s gotten dubious about Ju-Ju’s claims, so she’s off for LockeLandia.
Kate draws the Kwons a map and all, and tells them she has to tell Jack, but she’ll give them a good head start first. Sun says she wanted to tell Jack, but decided not to because “he wouldn’t understand.”
But Ju-Ju busts that party and at first tries to tell Jin about Sun’s condition (as Jin explained to Jack earlier, he understands English better than he speaks it), but when Jin says, Wherever Sun goes, I go, Ju-Ju whips out her trump card: Juliet tells Jin about Sun’s affair! (And although I understood precisely why Juliet said that, I still so hated her guts just then.)
Sun slaps an already beaten-up Juliet (ouchee), and Jin stalks off back to the beach.

Sun tries to explain, but Jin just wants to go fish. Luckily, Bernard, bless his soul, arrives, and at first unaware of the argument, asks Jin if he can tag along.
Bernard realizes he’s walked right into the middle of something, and is apologetic and is backing off, when Jin says it’s okay.
So the only two married men on the Island (well, from 815; who knows how many of the natives are married; come to think of it, some of the 815 sock puppets could be married too, but how are we to know?) go fishing, and Bernard tells Jin about Rose’s cancer.

Back on the beach, Juliet tells Sun, I just had to stop you from leaving.
Ju-Ju then outlines the next handful of weeks for Sun, an inevitable scenario that ends with her death, and right after that, the baby’s.
You’re my patient, Juliet says, and you need to get off this Island.
When Jin gets back, he prepares dinner for Sun (Jin’s practicing English is adorable), and basically says, I know the man I was back then, before the Island.
I know that what you did back then, you did to that man.
I forgive you.
(Which, let’s face it, already slew me at face value, but in light of our final Off the Island section, well… devastating…)
Jin says, I’ll go with you to Locke’s camp, but Sun says, I don’t want to go there anymore. Juliet was very convincing.
They have a helicopter, she says.
Jin says, I’ll do whatever it takes to protect you and the baby…

Off the Island:
A very pregnant Sun, back in Korea, goes into labour.
Cut to Jin, who’s frantic to get to the hospital, but passes by a store to buy a stuffed panda first.
With Sun, it’s all labour pains and new doctors (her usual one is at a conference, damn him!), with Jin, it’s all, played for laughs, need to get to the hospital, oh crap, I need to buy another panda, oh more crap, my cell phone just got ran over.
So all through this, I had a bunch of suspicions.

Suspicion A: this new doctor and that nurse doping up Sun were evil, evil I say.
They were here to steal Sun’s baby, to study it, it apparently being the first infant to have been conceived on the Island, and to have lived to tell the tale. (Unless Ben used to do that in the past—get the preggers women off the Island before they reached their third trimester, have them deliver off Island, then bring them back when both mother and infant were a-ok—which I always wondered about and I believe I mentioned here at the Iguana before.)
Anyway, it would be that whole Knots Landing, Oh, we’re so sorry, but your baby died during labour, but then Valene just knows she gave birth to a baby that was alive, and no, I was not confused by the drugs, where is my baby you bastards?!
So.
Anyway.
Evil baby snatchers.

Suspicion B: somewhere along the way, I began to think, Oh no, what if they both got off the Island, but in the end—due to the whole Sun having an affair thing—didn’t end up together, and Jin’s actually hurrying up to get to some other woman who’s now his wife, who just happens to be delivering at the same time as Sun.
Of course, if I had had the luxury to think this suspicion through, it would be impossible for Jin to have both found (and perhaps married) another woman and gotten her preggers so that her delivery would coincide with Sun’s. (Unless Jin actually physically time-traveled somehow and that his sperm stayed healthy and alive even after he’d gotten off the Island…)
Anyway, the core of this particular suspicion was that Jin was not heading to Sun’s side, that when he got to the hospital, we’d have the reveal of some other woman with her newborn baby.

Suspicion C: which, before we get into it, I must say, was a niggle at the back of my mind, pretty much overshadowed by Suspicion A (Evil! Evil!), was that Jin and Sun were in different timelines (which would also have worked hand-in-hand with Suspicion B).
But as I said, it was a niggle, so when the reveal came that they were indeed in different times (Sun, post-Island; Jin, two weeks into their marriage, and he was hurrying to the hospital to deliver the panda to some ambassador or other, on orders of Sun’s evil da), the immediate question which overrode the small, though still significant surprise, was, Where’s Jin?
And this is the point where I irrationally shouted at the screen, Bastaaaardds!!!

Hurley shows up to greet the proud mama and Ji Yeon, and then they all troop off to see Jin… who’s in the cemetery.
I say again, Bastaaaardds!!!

I can only assume at this point that Jin did do all he could to protect Sun and the baby, and this is the price.
If so, though, is Jin considered part of the Oceanic Six (as a nurse points Sun out to be)?
Officially, with verbal confirmation on the show, it’s Jack, Kate, Hugo, Sayid, and Sun. We’ve seen Ben, and of course, Aaron, off-Island, but neither were 815 passengers. Or is an unborn infant considered a passenger?
Is Aaron part of the Six, or not?

Of course, my steering the pondering over to the Oceanic Six question is simply me trying to avoid having to deal with Jin’s upcoming demise.
It’s Charlie all over again…
But, as hard as this is going to be, at least I get to psyche myself out for the inevitable, as opposed to, say, the sudden departures of Shannon (Ana-Lucia, you b!tch!) and Libby (Michael, you bastard!).
Still.
I say again, Bastaaaardds!!!

Or was that part of the elaborate ruse and Jin’s still alive, on the Island? Though I doubt that possibility, as I can’t see Sun going through the masquerade of visiting an empty grave just so she could get me to blubber like an idiot…
Of course, the date of death on Jin’s marker read September 22, 2004, the date of the 815 crash, since he was purported to have died then. But that still leaves us with possibilities…
Either Jin really did die back on the Island, and Sun can’t really have the date of death on the grave marker changed because that would contradict the “official story” of the 815 crash, or the visit to the cemetery was indeed part of the ruse and Jin is still alive, back on the Island.
Graaar! I say again, Bastaaaardds!!!
Now I don’t even know if I should prepare myself for Jin’s demise or not…

Sigh.
I love this show.

COUNTDOWN: 41.

(Images courtesy of ABC, ew.com, and variety.com.)

LOST
Season 4 Episode 6
“The Other Woman”
Written by Drew Goddard & Christina M. Kim
Directed by Eric Laneuville
(WARNING: SPOILERS)

Flashback time, and we see Juliet a week into her Island stay, when she meets her therapist, Harper Stanhope (Rescue Me‘s Andrea Roth) for the first time.
In short order, we understand that Ben has what appears to be a not insubstantial crush on Juliet (as Harper makes mention later on, because Juliet looks “so much like her,” which I can only assume means Annie; so that sexual vibe I picked up on before between Juliet and Ben actually turns out to be one-way unrequited lust, sort of), and after Juliet first meets Goodwin—a very loaded meeting, considering that we already know they end up being lovers—that Juliet doesn’t think very highly of Harper, and that Harper is Goodwin’s wife. (Apparently, Goodwin doesn’t think highly of Harper either, as he says later on that he’s been sleeping on the couch for a year now…)
And thus do we have a double meaning to this episode’s title…

At one of their sessions, Harper confronts Juliet about her affair with Goodwin, and then warns Juliet that if the affair continues, there will be consequences. Harper goes on to say that she doesn’t want to see Goodwin get hurt.
Juliet says, I would never hurt him.
Harper says, I’m not worried about you; I’m worried about Ben.
And thus, Ben’s reasons for sending Goodwin off to infiltrate the Tailies also becomes awfully clear.
True enough, we see a repeat of that fateful day (where we slyly edit around having to hire William Mapother on for another guest shot by showing reactions shots of the Bizarre Love Quadrangle), soon followed by Ben getting Juliet to his place under the pretense of a dinner party, when it’s actually a candlelit date. (Ewwww.)
During the dinner, Juliet says that maybe Goodwin can come back, now that the children (Zach and Emma?) who were on the list were abducted from the Tailies.
Ben claims though that Goodwin is continuing his deep cover mission since he thinks Ana-Lucia might be turned to join them. (And there’s something gleefully evil about how transparent Ben is in trying to get Juliet jealous.)

Later on, Ben brings Juliet out to the spot where Ana-Lucia left the impaled body of Goodwin, and Juliet breaks down of course, then asks, Why did you bring me here?
Ben counters with, Why you and not his wife?
Juliet says, You knew this would happen. That’s why you sent him out there.
Ben says, Don’t you understand? You’re mine. (Double ewwww.)

Now, onward ho, to the present!
At the Barracks, we once again get a clear view of Valis, as if the writers are really trying to tell us something. (Dang, why do I not have my own copy?)
We get some verbal sparring between Locke and Ben, the result of which is a deal being struck: Ben says let me sleep in a bed, eat with utensils, walk around free, and I’ll tell you what you’d like to know.
Namely: Ben shows Locke a surreptitiously shot video of ol’ Charlie Widmore beating a blindfolded someone up. According to Ben, Widmore has been searching for the Island for a very long time, in order to exploit its mysteries. The man he’s beating up: one of Ben’s people.
Again, according to Ben, that freighter off shore belongs to Da Widmore, and he gives Locke a file on Charlie W.
Locke then asks, So who’s your spy on board?
Ben says, All right, but you might want to sit down for this.
When next we see Ben, he’s looking smug and walking free around the Barracks with fresh linen, much to the shock of Sawyer and Hugo.

Meanwhile, back at the beach, Daniel and Charlotte sneak off, and Jack, Juliet, Jin and Sun search the jungle.
While Juliet is looking around, she suddenly hears that pesky whispering, and who should pop up but Harper, who tells Juliet that she was sent here by Ben to tell Juliet that Daniel and Charlotte are off to the Tempest, where they will purportedly release some deadly gas which will kill everyone on the Island. (Apparently, this is what Ben did once before, when he slaughtered the Dharma people.)
Juliet asks, How does Ben know all this when he’s a prisoner?
Harper says, Ben’s exactly where he wants to be.
She then says Ben sent her here to tell Juliet to go and intercept the strangers and use her gun to kill them both. Jack arrives, holds Harper at gunpoint, but the whispering starts up again, distracting both Jack and Juliet, and when they look back, Harper’s gone…

Meanwhiler, Kate runs into Daniel and Charlotte, and when she starts asking too many questions, is knocked unconscious by Charlotte (the b!tch). When Jack and Juliet find her, Juliet is obviously affected by the very evident emotion Jack has for Kate, so she sneaks off to the Tempest (a power station for the Island, as she quickly explained to Jack) herself.
Kate of course, is one of the Island’s best trackers, so despite her aching, bleeding noggin, she tracks Juliet and Daniel and Charlotte.

At the Tempest (which isn’t so much a power station as it is a poison gas factory), Juliet finds Daniel in full protective gear, trying to override the computer, with a recording (you know, you’ve heard the one) warning of imminent contamination.
Juliet holds Daniel at gunpoint (there’s no sign of the b!tch), but Daniel keeps on tapping at the keyboard. Juliet rips off his gas mask, and he says he’s trying to render the gases inert.
Charlotte sneaks up behind Juliet, and an all-out brawl ensues, where Juliet takes some nasty hits from Ms. C.S. Lewis. B!tch. On the plus side, Juliet does manage to rip off the b!tch’s gas mask too.
The automated countdown gets all the way down to 1, we all know this drill, before it stops, Daniel apparently saving the day. Yahoo! Go, Faraday!

Jack and Kate arrive and the b!tch explains that they were here to prevent Ben from possibly using the gas against them. Kate is unconvinced (and rightly pissed off), so she goes inside the Tempest with the b!tch to check the veracity of her claims.
Outside, Juliet tells Jack, Ben sent me here to kill them both.
Juliet then goes on to say, These people are here to wage a war on Ben, and he’s going to win.
She then goes on to say, And when Ben wins, you don’t want to be anywhere near me, Jack.
And why is that? Jack asks.
Because Ben believes I’m his, and he knows how I feel about you, Juliet says.
Jack says, He knows where he can find me, then proceeds to liplock with Juliet. (I kept on half-expecting to see Kate catch them, but she never showed up. Of course, they were kissing right in front of the open Tempest doors, so all anyone had to do was look out, and voila. But I guess Kate was too busy being pissed off at the b!tch. I so wanna see Kate smack Charlotte around some…)

So this episode basically answers the question, What exactly is the deal between Juliet and Ben, that “history” between the both of them that was alluded to by Mr. Friendly before, and re-begs the questions, What happened to Annie?
The episode also puts forward Charles Widmore as the (or at least, a) baddie. But of course, this is all The World According to Ben, and we all know he speaketh with fork-ed tongue, so, all we really see is good ol’ Charlie wailing on some poor, blindfolded schmuck.
I suppose we’ll have to wait and see…

And that whole Harper appearing (and disappearing) in the jungle to a chorus of whispers, sort’a smells like one of those Island apparitions. Is this Smokey in the form of Harper? Or Jacob?

Oh, and on the con side, the whole countdown to gassy Armageddon (all the way to 1, mind you) was a tad tired.

And speaking of countdowns…

COUNTDOWN: 42.

(Image courtesy of ABC and fanpop.com.)

LOST
Season 4 Episode 4
“Eggtown”
Written by Elizabeth Sarnoff & Greggory Nations
Directed by Stephen Williams
(WARNING: SPOILERS)

Back at the Barracks, Locke is still out of sorts, uncertain what his next move should be. He’s so desperate he actually tries to get Ben to tell him what needs to be done, something Ben crows about of course, observing Locke’s more lost now than he’s ever been.
Locke acts all cool but once he’s out of the room (but still within Ben’s hearing distance), he smashes some plates against the wall.
Ben.
Smiles.
(Why does Locke always do that? Act all cool and unruffled, then break some stuff when Ben can still hear? He did that back in the hatch too.)

Kate meanwhile, is actually living with Claire, while Sawyer is roomies with Hugo. Sawyer tries to woo Kate to stay with him, but she’s more interested in Miles.
Ahem.
To talk to Miles.
Kate tries to get Miles’ whereabouts out of Locke, but he keeps his lips sealed, and reminds Kate Jack isn’t in charge here and that this isn’t a democracy. (What did I say before? Locke can be just like Ben…)
So Kate finagles Miles’ location from an unsuspecting Hugo, and when she gets there, she asks Miles what he knows about her. Miles says he just wants one minute with someone, then he’ll tell her what she wants to know.
Kate asks, Who?
Miles says, You know who.

Kate then asks Sawyer for help to break Ben out so she can hook him up with Miles. (Ewww. That’s even more disturbing than Kate being interested in Miles.)
Oh, and Xanadu’s playing in the background…
Sawyer then shows up at Locke’s for a game of backgammon, during which time Locke seems to be fishing for what the popular vote is regarding his leadership. Sawyer says all the others are sheep, except maybe for Kate. Sawyer then tells Locke about Kate’s earlier request regarding Ben. Locke says, Whatever Miles has to say to Ben, I want to hear too.
So they head on off to the boathouse where Miles is being held, only to find him gone. (Cue Sawyer’s act of having been bamboozled by Kate…)

Kate brings the mountain to Mohammed, and can the angry young ghost whisperer get any sleazier? It turns out he wants $3.2 million from Ben, in exchange for Miles telling his employer that, Oh, you know what? We found Ben, but he was dead.
Miles wants the $3.2 mil in cash, in two days. Ben points out how that might be difficult given his current circumstances. So Miles gives him an extension: a week.
Idiot.
Kate then asks the idiot (oh, sorry, angry ghost whisperer) what he knows about her, and Miles tells her he knows about her fugitive status, as does the public at large, and that unless she wants to end up behind the bars just as soon as she’s rescued, she should probably just stay on the Island.
Locke then arrives and breaks up the party.

Locke visits Claire’s later on to have a chat with Kate, and asks her what Miles’ chat with Ben was all about. Kate tells him, then Locke promptly banishes her.
Kate goes to Sawyer’s, and tells him Locke’s decree, but Sawyer unbanishes Kate, and says he’ll take care of her. They start rasslin’ on the bed…
The next morning, Sawyer initiates some more rasslin’, but Kate’s having none of it (as she apparently had none of it last night as well). Sawyer thinks he gets it, and says, Oh, you’re still worried you’re pregnant.
Kate says, I’m not.
Sawyer’s relieved, though Kate just seems upset. Then she says she has to go. Sawyer says, You were just waiting for an excuse to leave, and now you’ve got it. Then he says, Fine. In a week, Jack’ll do something that’ll get you pissed off at him and you’ll come running back to me, to which Kate’s reply is a stinging slap.
Then she leaves.

Meanwhile, Locke, ticked off about the whole Kate-Miles-Ben thing (again, ewww), decides to leave a live grenade in Miles’ mouth…
Man, Locke is really flying off the rails…

Back at the beach, there’s a nice scene between Sun and Jin, with Jin looking a map of the U.S. over, picking places for them to live once they get off the Island, all of which meet with disapproval from Sun (“too hot,” “too many people,” etc.).
Sun asks, What’s wrong with Korea? (Uh, duhh, your shady criminal father lives there?)
Jin says, I learned English for you, so we can live in America.
Sun says, I want to raise my baby in Korea.
Jin says, Don’t you mean “our” baby?
But that conversation is interrupted by the arrival of Jack with Daniel and Charlotte.

Later on, Jack, concerned he hasn’t heard anything from Sayid, gets the Boat People to ‘fess up about the other emergencies-only number, which they ring up on their NaomiPhone, and which is answered by the still unseen Regina.
Daniel asks about the helicopter. Regina says, I thought the helicopter was with you…

Oh, and before we leave the Island this week, there’s one little scene that takes place in the Barracks, as Claire and Kate are hanging the laundry out to dry. Aaron starts to make a fuss, and Claire asks Kate, Can you pick him up and just rock him a little?
Kate looks really hesitant and says, I’m not very good with babies.
Claire says, Okay, and picks Aaron up herself. Then she says, You should try it some time…

And… onward flash-forward, ho!
Kate’s on trial for the gazillion and one crimes she’s wanted for, and when the prosecutor asks that she be held in custody for the duration of the trial, the judge agrees, and Kate’s cuffed and hauled off to jail.
Man, that was a surprisingly strong scene… You can see the whole “I can’t stand being tied down” vibe that just oozes off Evangeline Lilly.

Later on, Kate’s lawyer says, We’re in trouble, and your sick mother’s the prosecution’s star witness. He says, Let’s make this about character. Let’s bring him in.
Kate says, No. I’m not dragging my son into this. (Wait for it…)

In court, Kate’s lawyer brings in (without conferring with Kate first) Jack!
On the witness stand, Jack flat out lies: 8 people survived the crash; I almost died; Kate saved me; Kate saved us all…
Kate stands and says, Stop. This is my trial. What happened back there doesn’t matter.
Kate’s lawyer says, Fine. I got my answer.
And the prosecution pounces: Do you love Kate Austen, Dr. Shepard?
Gulp.
Jack: No. Not anymore.
Ho.
Lee.
Smoke.

Later on, Kate’s lawyer wheels Kate’s mum into a room so mother and daughter can talk.
Kate doesn’t want to, but she’s not really given a choice.
Momma Austen asks, Was what that doctor said true? That you saved all of them?
And she goes on to say, Things changed since the last time we saw each other (you know? That time I screamed bloody murder and called the fuzz on your a$$, baby girl?); things changed when I thought you were dead.
I didn’t want to testify against you.
Kate says, Then don’t.
Momma Austen says, Let me see my grandson.
Kate says, That’s what this is about? You wanted to make a deal?
Kate says, I don’t want you anywhere near him. Then, We’re done here.

At the following court date, the prosecution claims their star witness can’t testify due to medical reasons. Judge calls for a recess. Prosecutor Lady talks with Kate and her lawyer.
It turns out Momma Austen doesn’t want to testify against Kate anymore, and thus, their case is badly compromised now.
Plea bargaining ensues.
Kate will not take any prison time, so the deal is, Ten years probation, and Kate can’t leave the state. Kate says, Fine. I just want this over. I’m not going anywhere. I have a son. (Wait for it…)

Just as Kate is leaving the court house, Jack meets her.
Kate says, I’ve heard you tell that story so many times now, I’m starting to wonder if you believe it yourself.
Jack says, What I said up there? That wasn’t true.
Kate asks, You want to follow me? You want to see him?
Jack says, evasively, I actually have to get to the hospital, but can we meet for a coffee sometime?
Kate says, I understand why you don’t want to see him, but until you decide that you can, then there won’t be any meetings for coffee.
And Kate gets in her cab and leaves.

And she gets to her house…
And she greets someone who I assume is her housekeeper…
And she goes up to her son’s room…
And I’m thinking, What? Will he have Sawyer’s stubble and a conniving mind, or Jack’s bad hair and obsessive nature?
And Kate’s son turns out to be… Aaron…

I told you to wait for it…

So this episode slows down the Lost mythology a tad, as what we get is basically a story that puts the whole “shouldn’t Kate be rotting in jail after getting off the Island?” clamour conveniently to rest.
A little too neatly? Perhaps.
But they do smack you upside on the head with that cliffhanger.
So what happened to Claire? Did she get left back on the Island? Did she (gasp!) die?
But what about Des’ future-flash, of Claire and Aaron getting on a helicopter? Did Claire stupidly fall out of the helicopter? Or, distraught at Charlie’s death, plunge to a watery grave to join the ex-junkie rocker? (I kid, I kid…)

Seriously though, I am concerned about Claire’s welfare. I’d also like to think that Charlie’s sacrifice wasn’t for naught; after all, it was Des’ vision that was Charlie’s driving motivation to go diving to the Looking Glass.
And since the child Jack so obviously didn’t want to see is Aaron, that means he doesn’t want to be reminded of Claire. The important question at this point is, of course, does Jack already know that Aaron is his half-nephew?
After all, knowing about the biological connection could go either way: if Jack doesn’t know, then it’s simply because he’ll be reminded of Claire; and if he already knows, then Aaron will just remind him of his half-sister, making things even worse.
Then again, if Jack knew about the blood connection, he could get all obsessive-y as he sometimes does, which he clearly isn’t, as far as seeing Aaron.
Jack isn’t the easiest person to figure out…

All that, and we get a couple of scenes that feel like set-ups for subsequent episodes: the “what happened to the helicopter” scene is obviously an Island cliffhanger, and the Sun-Jin scene also feels like foreshadowing for some future episode.
Will we see Sun off the Island? Please, please, please let her be one of the Oceanic Six. Don’t let the bad sexist Island have its way with her and the baby…
And speaking of the Oceanic Six, we’re still looking at Jack, Hugo, Kate, and Sayid. (Ben and Aaron being part of the Six seems iffy to me at this point.)
So two more…
Can Sun be one of those two?
Please?

COUNTDOWN: 44.

Parting shot: Incidentally, the edition of Philip K. Dick’s Valis, which Locke brings to Ben along with his breakfast (of the last two eggs in town), is the exact same edition that I got to read from a friend’s library once…
I loved that book, and now have cause to hunt it down in the bargain bins, if only to read it again, to see if I missed something… (I may not like Locke a lot these days, but it does pay to listen to him once in a while…)

(Image courtesy of ABC and aol.com.)

LOST
Season 4 Episode 1
“The Beginning of the End”
Written by Damon Lindelof & Carlton Cuse
Directed by Jack Bender
(WARNING: SPOILERS)

(SERIOUSLY.)

Thus does the Mystery Box that is Season 4 open, and even as we pick up from where we left off on the Island, we get a flash-forward with Hugo front and center, timeline, somewhen before the Season 3 finale flashforward.

While Jack and company at the radio tower are awaiting rescue, Hurley and the Beach Patrol meet Des as he rows ashore, only to learn that Naomi’s been a lying little b!tch and it isn’t Penny’s boat out there at all, and oh, by the way, Charlie’s dead.
That’s one of the episode’s great moving bits, as we see the news clearly hit Hurley, hard. And since Sayid votes against radioing Jack with that bit of news (suspecting that these new interlopers are keeping tabs on their transmissions), and besides, Hurley smacks the walkie talkie out of Sawyer’s hand and into the water, the Beach Patrol heads out to warn Jack (which is the episode’s fantastic boo-yah! moment as everybody starts arming themselves as they head on out into the jungle).

On the trek, there another nice bit as Sawyer clearly shows concern for how Hugo’s taking Charlie’s death. It’s nice to know the con man can be a person too…
But because Hurley lags behind the rest of the Beach Patrol, he ends up getting separated from them, and finds himself… right outside Jacob’s cabin!
And when he looks in one of the windows, he sees Jacob! There’s also someone else in the cabin, who scares Hurley, who then scampers off. But he somehow finds himself back outside the cabin again.
So he shuts his eyes, tells himself there’s nothing there.
And Locke finds him. (Now, I couldn’t tell if that other someone in the cabin was Locke. It could’ve been…)

Meanwhile, it turns out Naomi wasn’t dead after all, and she seems to have crawled away while no one was looking… (Wow. Dying girl on stealth mode…)
Danielle finds a trail of blood, but Kate finds another trail and suspects that Naomi made a fake trail to throw them off her scent. Jack however, doubts this whole “fake trail” scenario, and opts to follow the obvious blood trail, with Danielle and Ben in tow, sending Kate off with the others to head back to the beach.
They hug and they part.
It turns out though, that Kate was right, and she filched the NaomiPhone from Jack during the hug. Kate finds the bleeding Naomi in time for Naomi to fiddle around with the frequency of the NaomiPhone’s signal emitter (or some techy gobbledygook like that) so the Boat People can find them, then tells the dude on the other end to tell her sister she loves her, before she dies.
For real this time.
Apparently.

All the parties intersect in the jungle, near the 815 cockpit, and there’s another moving bit as Claire is clearly looking around for Charlie, and Des looks like he’s moving towards her, but Hurley says, “I’ll tell her.”
And he does…

Then, to balance out all the sniffly moving bits, Jack punches Locke, then points a gun to his head. Locke says “You won’t shoot me, Jack, any more that I would have shot you,” referring to Season 3’s finale.
But in what’s arguably one of the episode’s biggest shocks, Jack pulls the trigger. But the gun isn’t loaded…
So Jack starts wailing on Locke instead, but he’s pulled off Locke (who didn’t seem to be fighting back anyway).
Locke makes his pitch: I’m trying to keep everyone safe, and those Boat People are not who they say they are, and they’re bad. I’m going to the now abandoned Dharma barracks, which is defensible, and I’m going to come up with a plan. Anyone who wants to stay alive, come with me.
And the tribe splits.

With Locke: Hurley, Claire, Sawyer, Danielle, Alex, Karl, and Ben (who amusingly asks Jack’s permission to take his leave).
With Jack: Kate, Rose (who refuses to go anywhere with Locke), Bernard.
These are the people I’m certain of. I missed some of the others during the exchange, though I assume that Sun, Jin, Juliet, and Sayid, are with Jack’s group. (Not quite sure where Des ended up…)

After a brief interlude at the remains of the cockpit, where Jack and Kate recall all the way back to the Pilot, traveling here with Charlie, Jack hears a helicopter, and they see someone land in a parachute, and Parachute Guy takes off his helmet, and he’s Jeremy Davies!
And he asks Jack, “Are you Jack?”
Which is the episode’s cliffhanger.
But let’s go back to the future, shall we?

Hurley’s chased by the police after he tears out of a convenience store, having seen someone (or something) that spooked him. Just as he’s arrested, he’s shouting, “I’m one of the Oceanic Six!”
At the police station, he’s interrogated by Ana-Lucia’s former partner, but he goes looney when he sees someone swim up to the mirror and touch it, letting tons of water into the room. This is, of course, apparently all a hallucination, and Hurley is only too grateful when they send him back to the same loonybin he spent some time at before. (Sniff. I miss Libby.)

While there, a mysterious stranger who claims to be a lawyer for Oceanic (introducing himself as Matthew Abaddon, creepily played by The Wire‘s Lance Reddick) offers Hurley an “upgrade”: a better loonybin to recuperate in.
Well, that’s… thoughtful.
But Hurley smells something suspicious, and when he says, “Okay, we’re done,” Supposed Oceanic Lawyer Guy asks, “Are they still alive?”
Hurley freaks, and SOLG makes his escape.

Later on, one of the other residents warns Hurley to be careful, “‘cause someone’s watching you.” And when Hurley looks, it’s (and this is the episode’s other possible biggest shock) Charlie! (With a cool, short haircut!)
So Charlie claims he is dead, but he’s also right there, and slaps Hurley to make his point. (And the other loony did see Charlie, right? So Charlie wasn’t a Hurley hallucination. Of course, the other guy who saw Charlie was loony…)
Apparently, Charlie’s who Hurley saw at the convenience store, which made him hightail it out of there. Charlie says to Hugo, “They need you.”
But Hurley’s having none of that sort of talk, so he shuts his eyes and counts to five, and when he’s done, Charlie’s gone.

Later on still, Jack pays Hurley a visit. (Jack saw the car chase on TV at the top of the episode.)
It’s a great scene, as we see a whole lot’s changed since the Island, and Hurley apologizes for going off with Locke, and says he should have stayed with Jack. Jack says it’s okay and that’s all water under the bridge.
But even as Jack’s leaving, Hurley says “It wants us to come back,” or something to that effect, and at this point in time, Jack doesn’t want to hear it, and leaves…

Now, though the episode’s teaser (the car chase leading up to Hurley’s arrest) is arguably not as strong a season opener as either Season 2’s (the inside of the hatch) or Season 3’s (the Others witnessing the 815 crash), the episode itself is solid enough, giving us some teasing bits to gnaw on: so what’s the “Oceanic Six”? Did they claim to the public that only a half dozen survived the crash?
Why does Supposed Oceanic Lawyer Guy ask, “Are they alive?” Did some characters lose themselves on the Island? Did Jack, Hugo and the rest of the Oceanic Six cover up for those other people? (I’m also going to assume that Kate is one of the Six, as we see her off the Island in the Season 3 finale flashforward. Speaking of Kate though, I’m surprised that when she’s asked over the NaomiPhone who she is, she actually gives her real name…)
And speaking of names, with a name like Abaddon, how can you seriously trust Supposed Oceanic Lawyer Guy?

It also struck me that back in Season 3, Ben talked about needing to sacrifice something in order to join them, before telling Locke he had to kill his father to do so. And Ben killed his father as a sign that he was joining Richard’s crew.
Must one always kill the father? Again, with the Daddy issues…
Also (and this is something I brought up before), doesn’t it make a difference that Locke didn’t do the deed himself? That he got Sawyer to get his hands dirty?

Getting back to this episode though, I’m jazzed that Davies has already been introduced, as I do think he’s one of the better young actors out there who always brings something edgy and dangerously unstable to his performances.
And speaking of “dangerously unstable,” I also loved that bit where Hurley sees Jacob.
Does one have to be slightly mentally unbalanced to see Jacob? One must admit, both Ben and Locke can seem a tad loopy at times.
And there’s the Charlie “yes, I’m dead, but I’m also here” bit. Is that what the Island (and/or Jacob) can do? Does that explain why Christian appears in the final mobisode, on the Island, at the moment of the crash? Is Vincent slightly mentally unbalanced too, since he apparently saw Christian as well?
Where is that damned dog, by the way? Did anyone see him in this episode?

Parting shot: Speaking of Christian, didn’t John Terry’s name pop up during the opening credits? Wasn’t he at the tail end of the regular cast?
Since he didn’t show up in this episode (or did I blink and miss him?), does that mean we’ll be seeing more of Christian later on in Season 4? On the Island or off the Island? Dead or alive? Or like Charlie, “dead but here”?

Post-parting shot: During the usual lag time between when I get to watch something and get to write a review for it, and when I actually get to post the review, something happened.
It was brought to my attention (thanx, Mika!) that the guy in the chair in Jacob’s cabin was actually Christian. (There’s a screenshot up at wikipedia.)
So if that was Christian, my question at this point is: was that really Christian, or was that Jacob somehow using the form of Christian? And that question also goes for all the other dead people that have been seen by the living throughout Lost: Charlie, Yemi, Ben’s mum.

COUNTDOWN: 47.

(Lost Season 4 ad courtesy of impawards.com; image courtesy of ew.com.)