ON THE LOT
Episode 16
The Finale

Fourteen weeks and here we are.
So Will the Family Man drives off to the gates of Dreamworks, where Steven Spielberg waits with the keys to his new office.
Yes, that final scene may have smacked of anti-climax (these guys really don't know how to play up the drama), but the idea was nonetheless wicked. I mean, this is Steven Spielberg, who directed great stuff we grew up on. Will’s just been let into that great big sandbox to play with the big kids. How sweet is that? (I just hope Will’s got some shark repellent, `cause that sandbox ain’t exactly the safest place on Earth.)
At this point, I’m really curious what film Will is gonna make with that $1 million development deal.
And hey, Adam. I’m waiting to see your stuff too, dude.

Now, curious thing: Adrianna kept on stressing “winner of On The Lot 2007,” as if we could look forward to another season of OtL. Considering the show’s low ratings, I honestly thought this would be it. And who knows, maybe it is.
But if they do come back for more, I say, “Bring it on.”

I mean, this is honestly a good idea in theory. Considering there’s that new breed of bland A-list directors are out there at the moment, it’s good to get fresh blood out to La-La Land, and over the course of a season, you can get to see just how creative these young turks can get.
Of course, in the end, the winner is crowned by popular vote, so you could still get the safest, most conventional director of the lot, but still, all the other contestants get their stuff out on national television and hopefully, can attract the eye of other Hollywood bigwigs.
And no matter who wins, the votes will always come in handy. At the very least, Dreamworks can tell which contestants have got the public’s eye. The votes are also a good barometer of what the public likes to see. If, for example, the number of votes were highest during, say, Horror Night, then it could be safe to say people want to see scary sh!t in the multiplexes. So it’s a reality show and market research all in one go.

A sophomore season could also be a chance for the production crew behind the show to get it right. Even for those who stuck with OtL from start to finish (like yours truly), I think it’s an accepted fact that the show itself has got a lot of room for improvement.

Well, it’s been an interesting ride, and at the very least, the show gave me a number of new names to watch out for.
Let’s see if Will can deliver…

(Contestant image courtesy of thelot.com.)

ON THE LOT
Episode 15
The Final Three

Sam. Dude.
Like Andrew and Zach, I’ll be keeping my eye out for you.
And “Replication Theory” still rocks.

So we’ve got the Final Three, and for that crucial final vote, they each chose two shorts from everything they’ve directed for the show: Jason chose “Eternal Waters” and “Sweet,” Will chose “Glass Eye” and “The Yes Men,” and Adam chose “Dough: The Musical” and “Army Guy.” (See my past reviews in the Archive for my reactions to them after their first runs.)
For those of you who’ve been following my reviews of the show’s shorts, you’ll know that I’m rooting for two of these guys, but based on the choices tonight, Adam takes the cake, since both his picks were Favorites of mine during their respective premieres (and “Dough” is pretty much a stand-out from the entire competition).
But of course, what do I know?
I mean, Jason’s got that whole country boy thing going, and Will’s the family man. (And let’s face it, in these sort of reality competition shows, image and personality count too.) It really is anyone’s ball game, and next week should prove interesting.

(Contestant images courtesy of thelot.com.)

ON THE LOT
Episode 14
America’s Choice

Wow. Second nasty On The Lot surprise in as many weeks.
Zach. That is such a bummer. The guy I thought was a shoo-in for Final Three. Zach was like the Hiro of On The Lot, you know? The one who seemed the most enthusiastic and excited about the whole prospect of working with Spielberg at Dreamworks.
In retrospect, I think Zach just sort of stumbled badly with that one-two “Bonus Feature” fiasco. I’m almost sorry I pointed out the whole sequel/pirates thing last week.
Crap. Well, Spielberg better be watching his own show, and can spot the creativity in Mr. Lipovsky, or some other movie mogul is gonna swoop in and take him under their wing.
Zach, I’ll be watching for you, dude.

So tonight’s shorts all took off from the logline, a man wakes up in a dress, and can’t remember the night before.

MY FAVORITE: Adam Stein’s “Army Guy”
Sgt. Joe wakes up in a dress, and is constantly accosted by Candy, who wants to marry him, but Joe’s too busy tracking down the Russian scoundrel Dmitri, who also apparently has a thing for girly clothes…
Hands down the most ambitious short tonight, and the clear winner (all three judges thought so too). Though the reveal wasn’t really a surprise, and the film does owe a lot to Joe Dante (recalling Small Soldiers and Dante’s “It’s a Good Life“ segment from Twilight Zone: The Movie), Adam still delivers a good, solid, and fun piece.

Will Bigham’s “The Yes Men”
The big boss wakes up in his office in a dress, and all the lackies and the sycophants take note.
A great, absurd look at the working environment and just how far people are willing to go to get ahead, Will’s entry is the only short to pretty much sidestep the “why” of the dress and focus on the effects of it on the characters around it (as opposed to the character in it).

Sam Friedlander’s “Dress For Success”
A lecherous, chauvinist boss is taught a lesson by three female employees.
The short starts out good, with some Saw overtones, but stumbles into 9 to 5 territory, diluting the entire affair. (Guest judge F. Gary Gray rightly points out that the two tones don’t quite mesh.)
The punchline was okay though, and was quite possibly the reason why it played better for me than Jason’s short…

MY LEAST FAVORITE: Jason Epperson’s “Oh, Boy.”
A man wakes up in a dress on a suburban lawn, with explosives strapped to his waist. He’s then ordered to do ridiculous things, or else, boom.
Again, Jason doesn’t do it for me, and the ending he delivers (the best of a dozen, or so he claims) just plays like one of those hokey Hollywood, Hey, look! No one got hurt and no one died in this movie (even if, by all rights, they should have) endings.

So these are the shorts that are gonna determine who the Final Three are, and if past experience has taught me anything (just look at last week’s results), Jason will slide into Final Three like a greased pig.
So… I don’t really want to think about who’s going home next. Let’s just all be surprised next week.

As I mentioned above, tonight’s guest judge was F. Gary Gray, who brought us Friday, The Italian Job, and The Negotiator. Of that sampling of Gray’s work, I’ve only seen The Italian Job, which was one of those okay Hollywood heist films. You know, popcorn entertainment. But hey, at least Gray comes across a lot better than Michael Bay does.

Next week: Final Three.

(Contestant image courtesy of thelot.com; F. Gary Gray image courtesy of dga.org.)

ON THE LOT
Episode 12
Comedy Night

So Kenny and Mateen are sent home and we’re down to a half dozen, with three more weeks to go.
And without further ado…

MY FAVORITE: Will Bigham’s “Unplugged”
In an office locked up for the night, two table lamps fall in love…
Will takes a concept you might normally see in a CGI short and makes it work in live action.

Adam Stein’s “Girl Trouble”
A dude finally gets lucky… with a dude.
The performances help sell this one, and the American Beauty bit was a hoot and a half.

Andrew Hunt’s “Keep Off Grass”
A superhero couple argue in an innocent bystander’s backyard.
Fun idea, though the couple may have spent a little too much time arguing verbally. I mean, that’s what normal people who don’t fly do.

Sam Friedlander’s “American Hoe”
A couple deep in wedding preparations get into an argument over the stamps for their invites.
Fun and funny, Sam makes this involving even if it is just two normal, non-flying people in a room. I could’ve asked for a better punchline though.

Zach Lipovsky’s “The Bonus Feature”
The bonus feature on the DVD player of a guy’s car zaps a couple into a number of very familiar situations.
This basically just bounces us around from movie to movie, and for Zach to deliver his weakest short in the competition thus far at this late stage is troubling. Maybe the pressure’s just gotten to the wiz kid. I’m hoping this is an aberration, and not a fatal misstep.

MY LEAST FAVORITE: Jason Epperson’s “Old Home Boyz”
A man at his 50th anniversary reunion with his former high school classmates has a dance-off over the girl that got away.
This one got the judges, though it really didn’t get me; I realize Jason knows how to please the crowd, but he’s just not pushing my buttons.
Of course, maybe it’s just that me and hip-hop aren’t exactly close.

Having gone on the record with my rundown tonight, I’ll be nonetheless surprised if Jason’s sent home, as I get the feeling he’s got a lot of the voting public in his pocket. We’re down to six contestants, five of whom I like, so next episode is the first that could genuinely make me feel bad when the elimination is announced.

Next week: shorts about the American’s love for the automobile. (Can anyone say, “Ford is a sponsor of the show”?)
Additionally, the box office winner from tonight’s batch gets Jerry O’Connell to star in their next short.

Tonight’s guest judge: Brad Silberling; see reVIEW (10).

(Contestant image courtesy of thelot.com; Brad Silberling image courtesy of dvdtoile.com.)

ON THE LOT
Episode 11
Action Night

So in one fell swoop, we’re suddenly down to an All Boys Club-- nothing new for Hollywood-- as Shalini and Hilary are sent home.
I’ve never been Hilary’s biggest fan, but she actually got better in her final weeks on the show. Shalini meanwhile, has got a good eye, but last week’s “First Sight” wasn’t her strongest work, and at this point in the show, no one can afford a misstep. (I already said that, didn’t I? Last week. Sorry, no new material.)
First double elimination down, one more to go.
And on that note…

MY FAVORITE: Andrew Hunt’s “Zero2Sixty”
A car salesman makes a pitch under really stressful circumstances.
Though I wasn’t overly impressed by the car chase, and the actor playing the car salesman got a tad grating in some scenes, this one has Andrew’s humour running through it, making for an entertaining two-and-a-half minutes.

Jason Epperson’s “Sweet”
Clearly the crowd-pleaser, this one has a man remembering his anniversary at almost the last minute, and doing his best to compensate.
Nice, clean fun (and look, he even paid for the lemonade!), but where did the wife suddenly have to get to at the tag?

Mateen Kemet’s “Catch”
A man chases down a thief, with some unexpected results.
Of the five, the only straight-forward “action” short without any comedic strains running through it. Also the one that arguably, was the most exciting, helped by its pounding score.

Sam Friedlander’s “Key Witness”
The eponymous key witness is run down by a bounty hunter, getting them both into some hot water.
It alarms me that this week, Sam ends up in my bottom two, but this one was definitely not Sam’s best. I loved the swallow the key/”I used to do magic” bit (word play in the title!), but the shoot-out wasn’t all that, and the dumpster diving wasn’t either. (But getting the goon to go splat on the dumpster lid was smart.)
And dude, you’re smiling more! Excellent! Get those extra votes! (Though you might want to have shaved a bit…)

MY LEAST FAVORITE: Kenny Luby’s “The Losers”
A Physics geek Dad proves he’s a freak his son can look up to by competing in a skateboarding race.
As with Hilary’s effort last week, it’s ironic that Kenny’s best work to date still ends up as my Least Favorite of the night.
For the record, this one was still a good short, with a warm, fuzzy “even losers can be winners” ending. The skateboarding stuff wasn’t really that exciting though. (And the behind-the-scenes stuff showed Kenny’s tendency to be an enfant terrible, so he could be on shaky ground.)
And on a final note, I loved the Physics geek writing on air, but what was with the toy lizard?!

Tonight’s guest judge: Antoine Fuqua.
I’ve only ever watched one Fuqua film, The Replacement Killers, and wasn’t terribly impressed by it. I’ve seen stretches of King Arthur on cable, but haven’t seen it in its entirety, so I can’t form a proper opinion on it.
Don’t worry. Next week’s guest judge is Brad Silberling, and I’ve at least seen two of his films!
And speaking of next week, it’s another Comedy Night (with a little Romance, according to Adrianna), with the remaining six contestants all going head-to-head.

(Contestant image courtesy of thelot.com; Antoine Fuqua image on the set of Training Day courtesy of movies.yahoo.com.)

ON THE LOT
Episode 10
“When Two Worlds Collide”

Shira-Lee goes home, and that’s too bad, as I did like the nursery scene from “Open House.”
And that’s not the only bit of bad news Adrianna brings to the contestants. It seems that from this batch of five directors, the two with the least number of votes get eliminated. Suddenly, the odds are ramped up against the contestants, and no one can afford a misfire at this stage of the game.
So, without further ado…

MY FAVORITE: Adam Stein’s “Worldly Possession”
Though the idea of a top secret military weapon getting mistakenly sent to suburbia was one of the loglines from the very first OTL episode, Adam makes the most of the idea, as a materialistic couple get their just desserts. (The punchline however, does wipe out the entire neighborhood as well…)

Will Bigham’s “Spaghetti”
A couple get lost on the road and end up in the middle of a spaghetti Western.
Will finally breaks out whole sentences of dialogue and makes this a fun little homage to the genre.

Zach Lipovsky’s “Time Upon A Once”
The new neighbours move in, but there’s something decidedly odd about them…
Again, the logistics and technical aspects of his short are impressive, but just as Carrie Fisher pointed out, Zach’s set his own bar so high, that even a good entry like this one suffers in comparison to his past work.
And I wouldn’t have minded subtitles, ala Twin Peaks.

Shalini Kantayya’s “First Sight”
A shallow and self-involved young woman has a shocking epiphany at a street fair.
Though I didn’t have as much of a problem with this one as Carrie Fisher and guest judge Luke Greenfield did, it did still lack some “Oooomphh.”
And the visual effects that turn Baba (I believe his name was) into a ball of light were so Charmed, it hurt…

MY LEAST FAVORITE: Hilary Graham’s “The Legend of Donkey-Tail Willie”
An interesting fable set in the Wild West, where true love can be found, no matter the particular circumstance of one’s physicality.
It’s ironic that this is definitely Hilary’s best work to date, and this week, it’s my Least Favorite.
I just really didn’t feel Willie’s predicament as much as I should’ve. And there wasn’t any sense of genuine conflict on our way to that happy ending.

This week’s guest judge was Luke Greenfield, who directed The Animal and The Girl Next Door, neither of which I’ve actually seen, so I don’t have anything really to say about the guy.
So I won’t.

Next week’s gonna be interesting (it’s Action Night) and tough, as two directors are going home… And the week after that, two more go home…
Things are getting down to the wire.

(Contestant image courtesy of thelot.com; Luke Greenfield image courtesy of ryanpinkston.com.)

ON THE LOT
Episode 9
Horror Night

As seemed pretty evident from last week’s batch of films, David ended up getting the least number of votes, and was sent home.
Personally, I always found a certain lack in David’s films. They weren’t awful like most of Hilary’s efforts, but they didn’t quite have that “Ooomph” that the work of the more talented and creative contestants display.

Now, a quick word before I run down this week’s shorts.
I found this batch sadly underwhelming, and this is quite possibly because it was Horror Night, and anyone who knows me or has read the reviews here at the Iguana, know I’m a certified horror geek.
As such, I was looking forward to tonight, but at the end of it all, there just wasn’t a single conceit that was particularly inventive. The shorts towards the top of my list are there on the strength of a particular scene or because of the film’s execution, and not because there was anything new in them.
I hope you all understand…

MY FAVORITE: Sam Friedlander’s “Anklebiters”
It’s got a simple premise: a new vicious species attacks a boy in the dead of night.
The strength of “Anklebiters” lies in the attack sequence, which is shot and edited well, ratcheting up the tension and suspense as any good creature feature should. And the child actor was effective as well.
I’m just not sure about the opening voice-over, which is borderline hokey-jokey, when I feel it should have been more Twilight Zoney. And the short’s punchline (or “tag,” as guest judge Eli Roth calls it) did lack some, er, bite.
But we still love ‘ya, Sam! (And try and smile a little more, dude; that should get you some more votes…)

Shira-Lee Shalit’s “Open House”
A young, expecting couple view an apparently haunted house.
This one is near the top of this week’s list because that scene in the nursery with the pregnant woman and the ghost was disturbing and very effective. But as Garry Marshall pointed out, there really wasn’t any conflict. The short is pretty much, set-up, killer scene, then bam, the couple is safe by their car.
But, as Eli Roth said, that tag was nice…

Mateen Kemet’s “Profile”
Okay, this one had balls. Mateen takes an everyday horror (the fear an individual of colour has of the police) and presents us with some of the most graphic scenes to emerge from On The Lot thus far.
I get what Mateen was saying, and like I said, I commend him for his cojones, but the fact that it was all a personal dread of the main character (though part of “Profile”’s point) just smacks of those horror movies that don’t quite pull off the whole “Oh, it was all just a dream” thing.
And the final pull-away till we see the entire planet doesn’t quite drive the idea—that this is horror happening everywhere—home in a particularly effective manner.

Andrew Hunt’s “Midnight Snack”
Even monsters get the midnight munchies…
Honestly, I’m surprised Andrew ended up in the lower half of this week’s list, but this one just didn’t do it for me.
Yeah, there were some creepy shots, particularly of the female ghost, but they were plainly influenced by Asian horror, complete with contortions and ghost revealed in ordinary, innocuous location (this time, it’s a coat rack).
And ultimately, it wasn’t particularly horrifying.

Kenny Luby’s “The Malibu Myth”
A couple set out to see whether there is any truth to “The Malibu Myth,” of people who disappear along a stretch of road; people who were purportedly irradiated, turning them into flesh-eaters.
This one just reeked too much of those current Hollywood horror films that are ransacking the feel and atmosphere of extreme 70’s horror classics like Tobe Hooper’s The Texas Chain Saw Massacre and Wes Craven’s The Hills Have Eyes, and not taking any significant steps beyond that.
Having said that, this is, though, Kenny’s best effort to date, and is a good step towards some clarity and a traditional narrative. (Like the saying goes, you need to know the rules first, before you can break them, and I’d like to know that Kenny can first tell a story well, before he gets all whacked out and experimental cinema on me.)

MY LEAST FAVORITE: Jason Epperson’s “Eternal Waters”
A mother grieving for her drowned son is about to face a real-life horror, and a supernatural truth.
Though the shot of the kid in the water-filled coffin was effective, this one is ultimately predictable and not particularly scary. (At least, it wasn’t an Un-Favorite.)

So there you have it. My reactions to Horror Night.
And though Jason’s effort was my least favorite this week, I think he’s got a voting following.
Meanwhile, Kenny might have been in trouble if he’d stayed in his usual mode, but he delivered what is one of the current understandings of cinematic horror in this day and age, so he should be safe.
Which could mean Mateen may be done for, if the viewing audience finds his provocative and in-your-face definition of horror a little too much for their sensibilities. On the other hand, he could have a voting following too, in which case, everything’s all up in the air, and the next director to leave The Lot is anyone’s guess.

As I mentioned above, this week’s guest judge was Eli Roth, whose Cabin Fever I really, really, really love, a film which definitely proclaimed there was a new voice in cinematic horror that demanded to be listened to.
And though my love for Hostel is not as all-encompassing and complete as the one I feel for Cabin Fever, it is still nonetheless a smart, sly, savage, and well-directed piece of gorno and I’m so looking forward to seeing Hostel II, hoping that Roth can somehow pull it all off without the film being an exercise in misogyny (and with three female protagonists being tortured in some perverse commercial enterprise, that seems to be a very real possibility).

Next week: shorts based on the key phrase: When Two Worlds Collide.

(Contestant image courtesy of thelot.com; Eli Roth image on the set of Hostel II, courtesy of twitchfilm.net.)

ON THE LOT
Episode 8
Comedy Night

So either Spielberg and Burnett are merciful, or they just wanted to maximize that one hour for the week’s short films, ‘cause this time out, they apparently visited the contestants Wednesday last week and delivered the message that Jessica had the least number of votes.
Too bad, considering I thought there was something to the execution of “The Orchard.” And I do think Jess is a better director than some of the others left…
And on that note…

6 comedy shorts written, shot, and edited in 5 days.
Roll ‘em.

MY FAVORITE: Zach Lipovsky’s “Die Hardly Working”
That title alone takes the cake.
Bored office drones wage all-out war with each other, and Zach proves that with a winning concept, great camera angles, excellent sound effects, and effectively humourous performances, you don’t really need special effects (or the hefty budget those effects entail).

Will Bigham’s “Nerve Endings”
My favorite from Will so far, this one shakes up his image of the “charming” and “whimsical” filmmaker with a black comedy about a doctor, brain surgery, and an intern.
Yes, it’s got the kind of laughs that scream, “Oh, that is so wrong,” but this one’s a whole lot funnier than some TV hospital comedies out there.
And that is a killer punchline.

Shalini Kantayya’s “Dr. In-Law”
Funny little story about antagonistic in-laws at a doctor’s check-up.
For someone who thinks comedy’s out of her comfort zone, Shalini does a bang-up job here. I think this one’s my favorite from her too.

Hilary Graham’s “Under The Gun”
This one surprised me, considering I thought it was more effective than this week’s short from Adam (one of my favorites in the competition, while Hilary has had two of her previous shorts on my Un-Favorites shortlist).
A mother and her desperate daughter hold up a sperm bank: quirky concept that could actually sell in Hollywood as a feature film, and though I did have some problems with the pacing and editing, this one’s definitely Hilary’s best too.

Adam Stein’s “Discovering The Wheels”
High concept: a car alarm remote somehow sends a car back into the past, where some cavemen give ‘er a spin. Car then gets ‘ported back to the present, cavemen in tow.
Maybe this was a little too ambitious for a short, but this was definitely Adam’s weakest work in the competition so far.
Not that it was bad, mind you. It just wasn’t funny enough.

MY LEAST FAVORITE: David May’s “How To Have A Girl”
A couple want to have a child, but are at odds about the preferred gender.
The central conceit isn’t enough to sustain this short, which devolves into a wrestling match that seems longer than it actually is.
Ultimately, not very funny. (But at least, not an Un-Favorite.)

Pretty interesting batch of shorts tonight, with that Hilary surprise somewhere in there. I may not be as enamored and effusive as the judges were about “Under The Gun,” but it does prove Hilary can direct something that I’d actually be okay with seeing a second time.

Tonight’s guest judge, Mark Waters, who debuted with The House of Yes, and has since moved steadily towards the Hollywood mainstream with the Freaky Friday remake, Mean Girls, and Just Like Heaven. (It’s interesting to note that The House of Yes was the film Adrianna didn’t mention in her intro.)
Next up for Waters: enter the wonderfully lucrative world of kidlit adaptations, with The Spiderwick Chronicles. (With an interesting cast that includes: David Strathairn, Joan Plowright, Mary-Louise Parker, and Freddie Highmore.)

Next week: Horror Night.
Yeah!

(Contestant image courtesy of thelot.com; Mark Waters image courtesy of notesfromhollywood.com.)

ON THE LOT
Episode 7

So, Marty’s sent home.
That was a bit of a surprise, and quick, as the news broke at the top of the show. Abrupt, but I guess ultimately, merciful, as two contestants didn’t have to endure the entire show before finding out whose time was up.
I did expect though that Kenny would go first, before Marty, given Kenny’s clearly non-blockbuster, non-mainstream brand of filmmaking.
And the other funny thing about Marty getting the least number of votes: how many blockbusting Hollywood thrillers out there are heaps of flash and style with the substance quotient—if any—coming in way behind? You’d think that there’d be a sizeable contingent backing Marty up. Unless it was Marty’s `tude that did him in.
Which brings me to a little something I’ve noticed.
I realize this is a reality show and there’ll always be a certain element of this going on, but some contestants are just playing up to the audience, when a lot of the time, they should just let the work speak for itself without having to try and garner votes by pushing buttons. Define yourself through your work and not your press, people.
And with that, let’s get on to this week’s batch of shorts.

Interesting batch tonight, and again, no Un-Favorite, so let’s kick it off, shall we?

MY FAVORITE: Zach Lipovsky’s “Sunshine Girl”
Another solid triumph for the wiz kid, this one is a heartbreakingly magical tale that manages to capture that elusive feeling of childhood in three achingly short and wondrous minutes. And the little girl gives one of the best performances of the night.
(Just go to thelot.com and check this one out.)

Will Bigham’s “Glass Eye”
Like Will’s “Lucky Penny,” this one’s a nice little charmer about a man, his glass eye, and his dog. Props to Will’s wife, who sings Rigoletto in the background. (At least, Garry Marshall said it was Rigoletto, so I’m taking his word for it.)

Jessica Brillhart’s “The Orchard”
A horror short about a guy cutting a tree down to size.
Believe it or not, this one could have been a contender for My Favorite, but it lacked a punchline with teeth.
I mean, I get Jessica’s point, and the short looked great and she does manage to build mood and get some tension going, but I kept on hoping that tree would just b!tchslap the dude something fierce. (Or, you know, Evil Dead him.)

Jason Epperson’s “Blood Born”
Definitely better than Jason’s “Getta Rhoom,” this one’s about a drug addict who’s in a spot of trouble with some unsavoury people. Oh, and by the way, apparently, his blood can cure people of disease.
Interesting premise, even if the look was like bargain basement Marty Martin. And I get the irony too, that this gift is given to a lowlife scumbag and how that can rob the entire world of a miracle.
But the lead actor just didn’t have the chops, and Jason’s editing could use a little more work.

MY LEAST FAVORITE: Mateen Kemet’s “Lost”
Like last week’s “Beeline,” this wasn’t a bad short.
It was actually a rather good one, with some heavy mature material being dealt with (a couple confront some unresolved issues from their break-up). The dialogue was good, and the performances were better (along with the “Sunshine Girl,” the best of the night), but it just didn’t seem to have an ending that felt like an ending. (Or, as Carrie Fisher put it, “a third act.”)
We’re presented with the situation, but all we see are two people flapping their lips at a restaurant.
How do we know that the guy really has changed and that he’s got his priorities straight now? Because he says so.
How do we know that the girl really was being taken for granted and not just the really needy, clingy type? Because she says so.
Would it have helped if it had had a flashback montage of the couple in better times, with manipulative “cue the drama moments with some sad piano music playing” bits? Maybe, maybe not.
But at least we could have left that damned table.

Next week, six new comedy shorts.

Parting shot: I’m glad to see Kenny’s still in the game, though now, there’s no Marty for him to be the anti-Marty to…

Parting shot 2: It was also great to see Wes Craven, and though it’s been awhile since I’ve thoroughly enjoyed a film he directed—Scream 2? Man, that was a while back—he’s one of those horror film icons who can sometimes still pull it out of the bag.
(I did enjoy Feast, on which he was an executive producer, as well as the Pulse remake, for which he wrote the screenplay. By the same token though, I did not enjoy The Hills Have Eyes 2 remake (review in Archive: April 2007), which he also produced and co-wrote the screenplay for…)

(Contestant image courtesy of thelot.com; Wes Craven image courtesy of geocities.com.)

ON THE LOT
Episode 6

So Trever’s sent home. If you’ve been reading my On The Lot reactions, you’ll know that decision doesn’t sit well with me. It really isn’t anything personal against Hilary, but her films just haven’t made any sort of positive impression on me. I hope she sees this as dodging yet another bullet and somehow, pulls a good one out of the bag in the next challenge.
Adrianna also neglected to mention which of last week’s shorts was Box Office Champ, which left me a tad miffed.

As for tonight’s batch of five shorts, as I don’t really have an Un-Favorite this time out, we’ll just go from my Favorite to my Least Favorite, and top it off with a Special Mention.

MY FAVORITE: Marty Martin’s “Dance With The Devil”
Yeah, the style does threaten to overwhelm (and I’m not 100% sold on the text appearing onscreen; a little too Tony Scott’s Man On Fire, where Scott just ODs his audience with gobbets of over-indulgent and headache-inducing style), and the characters are rather one-dimensional, and the confidence-always-threatening-to-spill-over-into-arrogance doesn’t really help either, but this one definitely looked the best, and was absorbing.
But dude, try not to be too defensive with the judges.
(And while on the subject of Tony Scott, wasn’t his BMW short titled “Beat The Devil”? Just wondering out loud…)

Andrew Hunt’s “Polished”
The office pariah, the janitor, takes vengeance on his co-workers with some floor wax and hamburgers.
Funny, yeah, but the pay-off doesn’t quite make up for the lengthy build-up.
(In Andrew’s defense, he did direct this short while in the midst of wedding preparations, so he was multi-tasking…)

David May’s “Love At First Shot”
A cellphone-carrying Cupid helps out with some geek love.
Again, funny, but like “Polished,” the pacing leaves something to be desired. (To its credit though, it was funnier than David’s previous effort, “File Size.”)

MY LEAST FAVORITE: Shira-Lee Shalit’s “Beeline”
A single mother does her darnedest to keep her sex life a secret from her extortionist son.
Two out of three judges liked this one, but it just didn’t rev my engine. And please note, it’s not an Un-Favorite, so I didn’t hate it; it’s just the one that left the least impression on me.

SPECIAL MENTION: Kenny Luby’s “Edge On The End”
It would’ve been so easy to just say this was my Un-Favorite, but it would’ve been for the wrong reasons.
In this one, a young man turns to alcohol to ease the sting of grief at the passing of his father.
A dramatic enough premise, but Kenny chooses to execute it in an experimental short film/music video style that makes actually accessing honest emotion a little difficult. So much so that when the epiphany comes and the grief-stricken young man turns his back on the bottle, I didn’t feel the catharsis.
But it by no means is a bad short film; it just doesn’t seem to quite fit in with the rest of the shorts.
There’s a place for a Kenny Luby in the film world, but that place may not necessarily be On The Lot…

Having said that, it sounds like I think Kenny should be sent home from this batch, and that’s definitely not the case. The competition’s that much more interesting with Kenny—I think of him as the anti-Marty—in it.
Given that “Beeline” was my Least Favorite, I’d then have to say I think Shari-Lee should go home, though if the judges’ words have any weight with the voting public, she’s probably safe. And to be fair, “Beeline” isn’t bad; it’s just not my speed.
Which should make next week’s eliminations pretty interesting…

Tonight’s guest judge, director of The Devil Wears Prada and the Entourage pilot, as well as Season 1 episode, “The Scene,” David Frankel. (Frankel's also done some Sex and the City and a couple of Band of Brothers. Heh. That sounds funny, doesn't it?)

(Contestant image courtesy of thelot.com; David Frankel image on the set of The Devil Wears Prada, courtesy of movies.yahoo.com.)

ON THE LOT
Film Premiere 1

Well, first off, I’d like to correct myself.
I was under the assumption that what we’d see in the 2-hour Premiere show would be the short film submissions of the 18 finalists (which is what I said in my look at Auditions Round 2: see Archive).
What we actually saw were the results of the finalists’ first challenge: shoot a 1-minute comedy short in one week.
Voting by the public begins with this show, and the 3 directors with the lowest number of votes get eliminated in Tuesday’s Box Office results show.

We also discover that Garry Marshall and Carrie Fisher are the regular judges, while the third seat is apparently a rotating one (Yahoo! No more Brett Ratner!).
For this show, the guest judge was D.J. Caruso (The Salton Sea, Taking Lives, and most recently, Disturbia).*

MY FAVORITES
Sam Friedlander’s “Replication Theory”: Like Fisher and Marshall, I‘m not particularly a fan of fart jokes, but Friedlander makes it work, taking us to different places (and times) using a painfully relatable social faux pas as his jump-off point.

Andrew Hunt’s “Spaced Out”: Those aliens were brilliant! And again, not a big fan of onscreen vomiting, but this was just flat out hilarious.

Zach Lipovsky’s “Danger Zone”: Done in one continuous 360 degree take (nearly 50 times till they got it right), effects wiz Lipovsky wisely chooses not to rely on his obvious strength—saving that for the brief glimpse of the runaway killer robot—and wows with technique and a really funny short.

MY UN-FAVORITES
Jessica Brillhart’s “… To Screw in a Light Bulb”: The gag just didn’t work. I think Marshall was right: it’s hard to make a metaphor funny.

Hilary Graham’s “Bus #1”: Yes, needing to take a piss while in a moving vehicle is universal, but as I’ve mentioned above, I’m not really big on toilet humor.

Kenny Luby’s “Wack Alley Cab”: This was just bizarre and not funny at all, like watching a lame “comedy” while on speed.

SPECIAL MENTION
Marty Martin’s “The Big Bad Heist”: This was funny. But it was a trailer, and not a short film with a beginning, middle, and end. Still, it looked great, had a cool Guy Ritchie vibe, and 24 angry little ninjas. How can you not like that?

THE REST OF THE PACK
Will Bigham’s “Lucky Penny”: A man finds the eponymous lucky penny in this Looney Tunes-flavoured tale.

Jason Epperson’s “Getta Rhoom”: A nerd (who unfortunately looks more like a special needs child) gets into a whole lotta trouble for playing monkey-see, monkey-do.

Phil Hawkins’ “Please Hold”: A young woman wakes up to find her apartment being burgled, and makes things worse by calling 911.

Trever James’ “A Golf Story”: A send-up of the alarmingly ubiquitous sports movie, on a mini-golf course.

Shalini Kantayya’s “Love in the Year 2007”: The hazards of the single life in the year 2007.

Mateen Kemet’s “Soft”: You can’t be “soft” if you wanna live in the `hood.

Claudia La Bianca’s “Blind Date”: The hazards of the single life in the year 2007, take 2.

David May’s “File Size”: The rigours of office life in the year 2007.

Carolina de San Martin’s “Deliver Me”: Going into labor in the year 2007.

Shira-Lee Shalit’s “Check Out”: The rigours of post-9/11 security.

Adam Stein’s “Dance Man”: About a man who can only communicate through interpretative dance.

What’s interesting to note in this batch of shorts are, a) that at least 5 of them are very timely, and of-the-moment, yet the shorts I thought were the funniest had concepts that were very timeless and universal (“Replication Theory” handled time, “Spaced Out” handled the universe).
And b) at least 4 turned to bodily functions for humour. Two of these, in turn, had said bodily function as the central idea of their premise: Friedlander brilliantly mines the fart, while Graham, ahem, takes the piss.

One more thing: Did I blink and miss something? Or did the show decide we didn’t need to see the cut that brought the field from the 24 of episode 2, to the 18 of this episode?

* I do find it odd that Caruso isn’t necessarily a comedy director, though I guess that’s already addressed by Marshall.

The 18 finalists:

Adam Stein, 29, freelance film editor, born in Miami, FL, currently living in Los Angeles
Andrew Hunt, 31, promo producer from Minneapolis, MN, raised in Pittsburgh, PA
Carolina de San Martin, 36, commercial director, originally from Santander, Spain, currently living in Los Angeles, CA
Claudia La Bianca, 28, painter and graphic artist, born in Bagheria, Sicily, Italy, currently lives in Miami, FL
David May, 23, admissions counselor living in Santa Ana, CA, but grew up in Aurora, CO
Hilary Graham, 37, stay-at-home wife and mom who lives in Francestown, NH, and raised in Chelmsford, MA
Jason Epperson, 30, owner of film production company, born and raised in Winchester, KY
Jessica Brillhart, 22, computer specialist, grew up in York, PA, currently living in Brooklyn, NY
Kenny Luby, 28, freelance director and painter, born and raised in Owego, NY
Marty Martin, 26, creative director of a multimedia company, born and raised in Seattle, WA
Mateen Kemet, 41, teacher, currently living in Los Angeles, CA, raised in the Bronx, NY
Phil Hawkins, 22, born and raised in Manchester, England, works as a freelance director
Sam Friedlander, 28, web producer, living in Santa Monica, CA, raised in Westchester, NY
Shalini Kantayya, 30, freelance director, raised in Hartford, CT, currently living in Brooklyn, NY
Shira-Lee Shalit, 38, acting teacher, born in Johannesburg, South Africa, now living in New York
Trever James, 24, film editor, currently living in Los Angeles, CA, and raised in Great Falls, MT
Will Bigham, 31, film editor, originally from Canyon, TX, currently living in Glendale, CA
Zach Lipovsky, 23, special effects editor from Vancouver, BC, Canada

Parting shot: Check out all the shorts at thelot.com.

(D.J. Caruso image courtesy of dga.org; contestant images courtesy of thelot.com.)

ON THE LOT
Auditions Round 1

Opening with one of those interview montages Oscar loves so much, we get to hear some of the 50 would-be contestants of this reality show, as they talk about why they love movies so much, and this is the sort of effective intro sequence that hooks your audience. As one of them says, everyone loves to watch movies.
So, yeah, seeing the boulder roll after Harrison Ford, that was a Movie Moment, and we’ve all had that, whether it was with Raiders of the Lost Ark, or some other treasured film of our perpetual youth.
Sometimes, it isn’t just the movie that sears itself into your brain; sometimes, it’s the experience too. The anticipation of the night before, the trip to the theatre, the standing in line for the ticket; all this melds into one seamless memory of that movie.
All this is successfully conveyed in On The Lot’s opening, as is the reality that here are 50 dreams, 49 of which will be basically dashed by the end of this season.
And yes, other dreams may emerge over the course of the show, new opportunities present themselves, but let’s face it: 49 of these people taking the Universal tour will not get the dream that is inside their heads at this precise moment in time. But then again, that’s the nature of the beast that is reality television, and On The Lot has the potential to follow in Project Runway’s footsteps, in being that rare reality competition show about creative people where the audience can actually see what the judges are making pronouncements on (as opposed, say, to all those chef shows where someone at home can’t really taste the food, can they?).

And speaking of the judges…
Garry Marshall. Cool. He’s done some funny stuff, but I think more importantly, he seems (like his sister Penny) to be a really funny individual who doesn’t exude an air of Hollywood pretension.
Carrie Fisher. Way cool. I mean, Princess Leia. Come on! And, post-Star Wars, she proved she was an excellent writer (for the printed page and the screen).
And then there’s Brett Ratner. Wha?!
Note that they were introduced as Hollywood “legends” (or something to that effect).
Brett. Ratner.
Let’s just leave it at that, shall we?

At any rate, the first episode shows just how insane this show can be: the first challenge, given one of five loglines*, you’re to come up with a pitch for a feature-length film overnight, and present it to the judges the following day.
On very little or no sleep, the 50 finalists (from a field of over 12,000, from 33 countries) go through their pitches, and there are the overconfident ones, the hyperactive ones, the nervous one, the ones who are just all over the map.
14 don’t make it through, and for the 36 left, they’re told to form groups of three for the next challenge: write the script for, shoot, and edit a 2 and a half-minute short film… in 24 hours.
Insane!

And though it’s at that early stage of a reality show where you’re still getting a feel for the contestants** (harder still with shows of this sort where you’re privy to the preliminary elimination rounds, when there are far too many contestants to keep track of), I will say that they interestingly decide to present the second challenge and show us the initial part of it (ego clashes, two crews attempting to shoot at the same location at the same time), before coming to the end of the show, thus leaving the audience with a cliffhanger of sorts.
For a premiere episode, it’s got enough of a hook to make me come back for round 2, and though not as cleverly shot and edited as Project Runway, it kicks off to a promising start.

* Personally, my favorite one was the one where a man is watching television, when on the news, his picture is flashed on the screen, and he is reported to be either missing or wanted.

** There are of course, the ones who were focused on who actually got through the first round: Andrew Hunt (confident pitch) and Will Bigham (pointed out by Ratner as having very commercial ideas). Still too early for me to say whether I’d bet on either of these two guys, though Hunt did have a particularly strong and effective pitch delivery.

(Images courtesy of fromscripttodvd.com [Marshall], schwartzmanpr.com [Fisher], and yahoo.eonline.com [Ratner].)