¡QUÉ HORROR! 2020

Candidate #1

READY OR NOT

(July 2019)

“It's true what they say,  the rich really are different.”

Grace (Samara Weaving) is about to marry Alex (Mark O’Brien), thus becoming a part of the (Ahem!) Le Domas Family Games dynasty-slash-empire (as Alex puts it though, it’s “‘Dominion.’ We prefer ‘dominion.’”).

And while Alex’s family’s company has brought joy to the world with such game gems as (Ahem! Ahem!!) Le Bail’s Gambit, he nonetheless describes them as “horrible people.”

Regardless, Grace still wants in.

Much to her regret.

“No, you don’t f*ck Mr. Le Bail. Mr. Le Bail f*cks you.”

Ready or Not is a wildly entertaining ride from Radio Silence, specifically, Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett, who’ve graced previous ¡Qué horror! rundowns with their contributions to V/H/S and Southbound.

And while their first ¡Qué horror! feature Candidate is primarily a comedy (don’t let that one sheet fool you), it does feature horror elements in its narrative, and there’s sufficient gore and repulsion on display to warrant a mention here.

With Adam Brody (as Alex’s older brother Daniel), Andie MacDowell (as family matriarch Becky), and Orphan Black’s Kristian Bruun (as another married-into-the-family, Fitch Bradley) in the cast, Ready or Not is a blackly amusing entry in “The Crazy Sh!t Rich People Do” subgenre.

“F*cking rich people.”

(Ready or Not OS courtesy of impawards.com.)

10 Slots for the Best Horror I've Seen in the Past Year
[4 of 10]

THE RITUAL

(September 2017)

"Makes you feel insignificant, right?"

"Speak for yourself.”

“Come on, man, where’s your soul? These mountains were smashed out by Nordic gods with big bastard hammers!”

David Bruckner’s The Ritual is the latest in the long and (un)hallowed line of horror films that warn us that man was not meant to traipse through the deep, dark woods.

You may recognize Bruckner as a ¡Qué horror! regular, having been on the rundown three previous times--in 2008, on the inaugural online ¡Qué horror! list (for his “transmission” in The Signal); in 2012 (for his contribution to V/H/S, “Amateur Night”); and in 2016 (for his contribution to Southbound, “The Accident”*).

So if you’re keeping tabs, then it becomes quite clear that The Ritual is Bruckner’s first feature film that’s landed a ¡Qué horror! slot, and a solid title it is.

Working with a script by Joe Barton (who’s written for Humans), based in turn on the novel by Adam Nevill, Bruckner gives us a tense nailbiter that follows four friends from university, as they hike Kungsleden (“King’s Trail”), running between Sweden and Norway, a vacation that turns out to be a terrible decision, as indicated by the tagline displayed on the quad above.

Bruckner and company** kill it with this one…

“Well, this is clearly the house we get murdered in.”

* Or, alternately, “Accident”. (Even on the official Dark Sky Films website, it’s referred to by both titles…)

** Amongst the film’s executive producers, the one and only Andy Serkis.

(The Ritual UK quad courtesy of empireonline.com.)

¡QUÉ HORROR! 2018

Candidate #3

THE RITUAL

(September 2017)

"Makes you feel insignificant, right?"

"Speak for yourself.”

“Come on, man, where’s your soul? These mountains were smashed out by Nordic gods with big bastard hammers!”

David Bruckner’s The Ritual is the latest in the long and (un)hallowed line of horror films that warn us that man was not meant to traipse through the deep, dark woods.

You may recognize Bruckner as a ¡Qué horror! regular, having been on the rundown three previous times--in 2008, on the inaugural online ¡Qué horror! list (for his “transmission” in The Signal); in 2012 (for his contribution to V/H/S, “Amateur Night”); and in 2016 (for his contribution to Southbound, “The Accident”*).

So if you’re keeping tabs, then it becomes quite clear that The Ritual is Bruckner’s first feature film that’s in the running for a ¡Qué horror! slot, and a solid title it is.

Working with a script by Joe Barton (who’s written for Humans), based in turn on the novel by Adam Nevill, Bruckner gives us a tense nailbiter that follows four friends from university, as they hike Kungsleden (“King’s Trail”), running between Sweden and Norway, a vacation that turns out to be a terrible decision, as indicated by the tagline displayed on the quad above.

Bruckner and company** kill it with this one…

“Well, this is clearly the house we get murdered in.”

* Or, alternately, “Accident”. (Even on the official Dark Sky Films website, it’s referred to by both titles…)

** Amongst the film’s executive producers, the one and only Andy Serkis.

(The Ritual UK quad courtesy of empireonline.com.)

A Rundown of the 13 Best Horror Movies I've Seen in the Past Year

[4 of 13]
The Anthology Slot

The first of three ties this year...

TALES OF HALLOWEEN

(July 2015)

"Do you know what would perk up this candy-ass display?

“Some motherf*ckin’ blood!”

With ten stories in its 97-minute running time, The October Society’s Tales of Halloween* has a pretty darn good batting average for a horror anthology, in that--at least as far as I’m concerned--there really isn’t any segment in here that’s a particular stinker.

Naturally, you will like some stories more than others, but it’s a pretty good bet that you’ll come out of this thinking, “Sh!t, yeah, that was fun!”

And that’s what Tales of Halloween is, really.

From the “SNL sketch as directed by old school splatter Peter Jackson” insanity of Mike Mendez’s “Friday the 31^st” to the stylized horror of Lucky McKee’s “Ding Dong” (with Pollyanna McIntosh!), from the blackly comedic commentary of the ultimately pointless debate between old school horror and the more modern black metal splatterpunk aesthetic in John Skipp and Andrew Kasch’s “This Means War” (with James Duval!) to the bizarro horror of Neil Marshall’s “Bad Seed” (with Pat Healy as “Forensic Bob”!), Tales of Halloween is some awesomely fun Halloween horror viewing.

“Are you kidding me?! My nuts were viciously assaulted by a monster, dude!”

Plus, there’s a whole bunch of familiar genre faces in here, including Greg Grunberg, Lin Shaye, Noah Segan, Sam Witwer, John Landis, Adam Green, and Joe Dante.

Alex Essoe (from ¡Qué horror! 2015 title, Starry Eyes) and Drew Struzan (as “Rembrandt”) are in here, too, along with Adrienne Barbeau, who basically echoes her Stevie Wayne character from The Fog as the very loose bridging element of “The Radio DJ”.

Originating from an idea by Axelle Carolyn (who also happens to be Neil Marshall’s wife), Tales of Halloween is a mighty fine addition to the ranks of horror anthologies out there.

So be sure and stuff this one into your Halloween candy sack!

“Go bag me some of those horror freaks!”

* The film is dedicated to the memory of Ben Woolf, who recently appeared as Meep in American Horror Story: Freak Show.

SOUTHBOUND

(September 2015)

"Well, this next one is for you. All you lost souls racin’ down that long road to redemption, and all you sinners runnin’ from your past, but headin’ straight into that pit o’ darkness up ahead.”

The contemporary horror anthology film continues to tread the kicka$$ territories completely alien to the bland Hollywood horror that currently clutters up the multiplexes, this time, in the form of Southbound.

Bloody Disgusting’s Brad Miska--who also brought us the V/H/S anthologies--has his paw prints all over this one too, a collection of interconnected tales brought to us by the likes of David Bruckner (¡Qué horror! 2008 title, The Signal and the V/H/S segment, “Amateur Night”) and Radio Silence (“10/31/98” from ¡Qué horror! 2012 title, V/H/S).

Not really much more I can say without spoiling the surprises, so just get out there and hunt this down!

“We’re all on the same endless highway, the one with no name and no exits, lookin’ for a way out of tonight and inta tomorrow.

“Well, they’re gonna try to stop you, but you gotta say, “F*ckin’ keep movin’,” because this is your highway, and tonight might just be the night you finally outrun those wicked demons once and for all…”

Parting Shot 1: The one and only Larry Fessenden has his presence known here, as “The D.J.” (I guess the radio DJ as a horror anthology bridging element in now officially a thing...)

Parting Shot 2: I have mixed feelings about Siren, the upcoming feature-length adaptation of “Amateur Night.”

While I’m curious to see how it’ll play as a feature, I am wondering why Gregg Bishop is directing, and not Bruckner, who helmed the original short.

It doesn’t help that I wasn’t overly fond of “Dante the Great,” Bishop’s segment in V/H/S Viral, either…

(Tales of Halloween OS’ courtesy of aintitcool.com & bloody-disgusting.com; Southbound OS courtesy of impawards.com.)

¡QUÉ HORROR! 2016

Candidate #5

SOUTHBOUND

(September 2015)

"Well, this next one is for you. All you lost souls racin’ down that long road to redemption, and all you sinners runnin’ from your past, but headin’ straight into that pit o’ darkness up ahead.”

The contemporary horror anthology film continues to tread the kicka$$ territories completely alien to the bland Hollywood horror that currently clutters up the multiplexes, this time, in the form of Southbound.

Bloody Disgusting’s Brad Miska--who also brought us the V/H/S anthologies--has his paw prints all over this one too, a collection of interconnected tales brought to us by the likes of David Bruckner (¡Qué horror! 2008 title, The Signal and the V/H/S segment, “Amateur Night”) and Radio Silence (“10/31/98” from ¡Qué horror! 2012 title, V/H/S).

Not really much more I can say without spoiling the surprises, so just get out there and hunt this down!

“We’re all on the same endless highway, the one with no name and no exits, lookin’ for a way out of tonight and inta tomorrow.

“Well, they’re gonna try to stop you, but you gotta say, “F*ckin’ keep movin’,” because this is your highway, and tonight might just be the night you finally outrun those wicked demons once and for all…”

Parting Shot 1: The one and only Larry Fessenden has his presence known here, as “The D.J.”

Parting Shot 2: I have mixed feelings about Siren, the upcoming feature-length adaptation of “Amateur Night.”

While I’m curious to see how it’ll play as a feature, I am wondering why Gregg Bishop is directing, and not Bruckner, who helmed the original short.

It doesn’t help that I wasn’t overly fond of “Dante the Great,” Bishop’s segment in V/H/S Viral, either…

(Southbound OS courtesy of impawards.com.)