BATTLESTAR GALACTICA
Season 4 Episode 8
“Sine Qua Non”
Written by Michael Taylor
Directed by Rod Hardy
(WARNING: SPOILERS)

Twelve Cylon models
Seven are known
Four live in secret
One will be revealed

“Because I can’t live without her…”
Aww, man, ol’ Rockface just slays me…
By the gods, if the rest of this season continues to get harder and harder to sit through, I’ll end up a quivering, blubbering, whiny puddle of emotional jello by the time the last R&D closer airs.

So the entire episode passes without us knowing what happened to the base ship after its jump, and more to the point, what happened to Roslin, Baltar, and a whole bunch of Galactica pilots, including Helo.
Meanwhile, chaos and panic ripples throughout the Fleet, with Zarek poised to take over the Presidency. A whole lot of other bits take place in this installment, so let’s take ‘em all on, one bit at a time.


Natalie’s rushed to Doc Cottle, but she expires, while having glimpses of some other, forest-y place…
Athena’s arrested, and there’s a really scary scene with Adama, as he fumes and angrily reminds her that she’s betrayed his trust. He then has her thrown in the brig, and later on, mindful of her claim that the Cylons want to take Hera away from her, has Hera sent to the brig as well, so Athena can be with her. (Not sure that thrilled Hera, though; Daddy gets taken away by a jumpy Hybrid, and I get to roost in jail with murderer Mummy. Oh, the joys of childhood.)
What I don’t get though, is why Athena just doesn’t talk to Caprica about her fears regarding Hera. At least that way, she can figure out whether she’s right about that feeling or not.
Of course, it does seem like Caprica may be the very particular Six that wants to take Hera away from her mum, so maybe Athena should just stay as far away from Caprica as Cylon-ly possible. But now that they’re both in the brig…


And speaking of Caprica Six, to try and find out where the base ship jumped to, Adama has Tigh visit her, a subplot that eventually leads to the reveal that, gasp! Caprica’s preggers! With Tigh’s baby!
Okay, I certainly didn’t see that coming. I honestly thought Tigh’s private time with Caprica was largely chatty therapy as he grappled with the whole, “Frak, I’m a toaster!” thing. Turns out Tigh was doing the nasty often enough to put a little, heh, toaster in the oven…
And doesn’t this also present a new evolutionary development as well? Hera (and Nicky) being the half-human/half-Cylon hybrid, and this baby being, what? A new kind of Cylon?
Anyway, Adama’s really ticked off about this development, and the two friends get into some nasty fisticuffs that demolishes (yet again) Adama’s model ship.
The two make peace later on though…


We are treated to some tantalizing hints as to the fates of Roslin and the missing base ship, when a damaged ship jumps back to the Fleet’s coordinates. The pilot (Pike) is dead, but they trace back the ship’s origin point, where they find the debris of a lot of Vipers, and a base ship.
So while some conjecture that, perhaps, this is the debris from the base ship the President was on, Adama would like to think otherwise.
So ol’ Rockface gets fixated on finding the President, putting the entire Fleet in danger as a result.
Adama is made to realize he’s lost his objectivity though, by Romo Lampkin, of all people. (And we’ll get to why he shows up in this installment in a teeny bit…)
And once Adama realizes that he can no longer put the Fleet at risk, but also cannot stop holding out the hope that Laura is still alive, he surrenders command of Galactica (and the Fleet), to… Toaster Tigh!
Not only that, but he also elects to stay behind in a Raptor, to await Roslin’s return to these coordinates, while the Fleet goes off on its merry way!
Both Tigh and Lee try and dissuade him from these actions, but like the man said, he can’t live without her…
And that’s how the episode ends, as Galactica and the Fleet jump off, leaving Adama in his Raptor, the damaged copy of Searider Falcon in his hands.
But there’s still one more important bit…


Even as Zarek attempts to wrest control of the Presidency, Lee sees that his father will never accept Zarek in the seat, and the whole military/government alliance will just crash and burn, taking the Fleet with it.
So Lee aspires to find another interim President, who can shepherd the Colonial government in Roslin’s absence. (You can see where this is going, can’t you?)
Lee gets Lampkin to help him run through possible candidates, and two things were fairly evident in this subplot: a) this was going to end up, however improbably, with Lee taking on the Presidency; and b) there was an undue amount of focus on Lampkin’s cat.


The first did indeed conclude with Lee ending the episode as interim President Leland Joseph Adama, while the second had a curious reveal of Lampkin’s cat actually being dead.
So Lampkin sort’a goes nutzo since the cat’s the only thing he has left of his wife, and though he’s been seeing the cat up and about (and talking to it, mind), it’s actually been dead and rotting in a bag for weeks.
At any rate, once all other candidates have been found wanting, and Lampkin has winnowed out Lee’s “repressed ambition” towards the Presidency, he also determines that Lee needs to die(!), since he would represent something hopeful for the Fleet, and Lampkin firmly believes there can no longer be any hope for the human race.
So Lampkin is holding Lee at gunpoint, but Lee manages to talk his way out of a life and death situation with a possibly certifiable lunatic, and into the office of the President.
Smooth.
Not bad for Mr. Passive-Aggressive Repressed Ambition.
Oh. Sorry. President Passive-Aggressive Repressed Ambition.
And Lee’s apparently first act as President, hand over New Caprica resistance hero Jake, into Lampkin’s possibly certifiable lunatic care.
Sure, let’s let the poor doggy guide Lampkin back towards mental stability…


Now, the bits that really worked for me had to do with Adama and his reactions and decisions in the wake of Laura’s little jaunt to gods-know-where.
The painful clarity of his love for the woman becomes the core of Bill Adama. This is, after all, the woman who taught him of hope, and faith.
So he stays, floating in the middle of nowhere space, her favourite book in his hands, while the Fleet leaves him behind, so he can wait for her to return.


The bits I’m not entirely sold on, were the ones involved in the “let’s make Lee president” subplot. The whole “Lampkin’s cat is dead” thing just seemed a bit too contrived, and like I said, Lee sliding his way into the President’s seat seemed vaguely improbable.
In the wake of it, I just didn’t get the sense that the Old Man was proud of his son’s achievement. (Then again, he was worried about Laura…)
Having said that, it does put a new spin on things, and I am curious to see where the writers take this. Will Lee turn out to be the President the whole Fleet’s been waiting for? Is this his true calling? Or will this—as we’ve seen sometimes happen before where Lee is concerned—all end in tears?
And with Tigh steering the Galactica now, well…

Having mentioned Tigh, I’m also intensely curious where the “Tigh as expectant Toaster father” subplot goes.
And what’s to happen to Hera? I really hope Athena gets to keep her. I certainly don’t condone what she did to poor Natalie, but Athena’s gone through too much to have Hera get taken from her because of some visions.

Crap. Mid-season break’s looming.

COUNTDOWN: 12.

IN MEMORIAM

Forrest J Ackerman
November 24, 1916 – December 4, 2008

Famous Monsters of Filmland was among the first genre publications that fueled my love for all things fantastic. (The grade school library of my alma mater had bookbound issues in all their horror-filled glory.)
Uncle Forry was the man behind FMoF, and the man who brought us Ray Bradbury.
The following is a fact: I would not be the horror geek I am today if not for Uncle Forry and Famous Monsters of Filmland.

AICN has a tribute page up here, where Phil Tippett and Rick Baker have left their own loving recollections of Uncle Forry and his influence on them.
Also on the page are his own thoughts on mortality, circa 2003.

Rest easy, Dr. Acula. You will be fondly remembered.

(Image courtesy of moviejuice.com.)

THE OBJECTIVE
(Review)

“My name is Benjamin Keynes. I work for the Directorate of Operations within the Central Intelligence Agency.
“Three days after 9/11, reconnaissance satellites picked up a radioactive heat signature in a remote tribal region of Afghanistan.
“The Agency feared that Al-Qaeda may have finally gotten their hands on a nuclear weapon. However, I was told by a local source with a high degree of confidence that it may be something much more powerful.”

After the disappointment that was Solstice (review in Archive), I put a lot of stock on The Objective as a film that would turn me around on Daniel Myrick.
I’m glad to report that it does.


We open in Ghazni Province, the date, November 2001.
Benjamin Keynes (The Killing of John Lennon’s Jonas Ball) has been tasked by the CIA to lead Special Forces Team 392 on a mission deep into Afghanistan to find one Mohammed Aban, a cleric considered by the locals to be the “spiritual force that helped the Mujahadeen defeat the Soviets.”
All else is on a need-to-know basis, and it’s this veil of military secrecy that fuels the mystery of The Objective.

Co-writing the script with Mark A. Patton and Wesley Clark, Jr., Myrick successfully captures the feeling of a squad of soldiers in enemy territory, off on a trek whose exact nature is kept from them by the Powers That Be (of which Keynes is the on-the-ground representative).
Assisted by DP Stephanie Martin, Myrick conjures the harsh beauty of the inhospitable terrain of this foreign country, effectively utilizing Morocco as locale stand-in, while Kays Al-Atrakchi’s music drapes the film’s soundscape with a disturbing score that heightens the scenario’s unsettling strangeness.
It’s these elements more than anything else—elements certainly more potent than your average Hollywood thriller’s over-dependence on CGI and epileptic editing—that make The Objective such a noteworthy triumph.


There’s also a good cast here, made up of unfamiliar faces, who deliver largely natural, straight-forward performances, which is, in the end, the key to keeping the audience involved while the weird sh!t gradually asserts itself over the film’s goings-on.
Do they reek the Hollywood hardcase Special Forces air we’ve come to expect from the movies and television? Perhaps not, but they do come across as real people, and that’s a big plus for a film like this.

Beyond that, I really shouldn’t say much more, other than that The Objective is ultimately about a government’s hunger for power, and how all else falls by the wayside in light of that all-encompassing yearning for the upper hand.
And while this isn’t the sort of film where everything’s neatly underlined and explained—the atmosphere and tantalizing bits are the tools for the audience to piece together the big picture—this is a solid cinematic experience which plays much better than The Blair Witch Project (which Myrick co-directed with Eduardo Sánchez), and is decidedly light years better than Solstice.
Now, I’m most definitely looking forward to Myrick’s next film.


Parting shot: Aside from containing a review of Solstice, the Archive also houses a review of Eduardo Sánchez’s Altered.

(The Objective OS courtesy of shocktillyoudrop.com and images courtesy of availableimages.com.)

LOST
Season 4 Episodes 13 & 14
“There’s No Place Like Home” (Parts Two and Three)
Written by Damon Lindelof & Carlton Cuse
Directed by Jack Bender
(WARNING: SPOILERS)

Given the density of events (and resultant chaotic emotions left in those events’ wakes) in this season’s 2-hour finale, I opted to break this into 2 parts, if only to make it a more manageable read.

[2 of 2]


Meanwhile, back at the Orchid, with Keamy now good and croaked, Ben triggers the Vault, which has its own minor ka-blooey moment.
Ben then puts on that fleece-lined parka we saw him in in the Sahara (quadruple hmmmm…) and tells Locke to go back to the Others and to lead them.
In another brilliant moment that made me actually care for poor, manipulative Ben, it turns out that Jacob told Locke to move the Island, but not how, because he wanted Ben to do the dirty work, because it seems that whosoever moves the Island, can’t ever come back to it.
Ever. (Or so poor, manipulative Ben claims.)


So Locke leaves, and we see him later on being welcomed by Richard and the Others.
Jacob’s b!tch, Ben, on the other hand, goes through the ruptured Vault into some sort of frozen rocky area, where there’s a large wheel (the Frozen Donkey Wheel, I assume), which he then struggles to turn.
And here, Ben, the disgraced and out-of-favour son, looks broken and he’s actually crying, even as he turns the wheel…


… and there’s a sound in the air…

… and there’s a light in the sky…


… and even as the people on the helicopter watch (Frank intending to land on the Island again before the fuel runs out)…


… and even as Ju-Ju and Sawyer on the Beach watch…


… and even as Idiot Zodiac Daniel and his second group of sock puppets watch…


… and even as the Others and their newly anointed leader, Locke, watch…


… the…


… Island…


… disappears…


It’s just gone, and apparently, so is the other smaller island where Jack, Kate, and Sawyer were imprisoned in the first part of Season 3.
So, without any Island to land on, the helicopter finally runs out of fuel, and goes ker-plash.
All the Oceanic Six survive, of course, as does Frank, and there’s a moment or two when they make it look like Des took too much seawater in the lungs, but Doc Obsesso does mouth-to-mouth, and Des sputters, coughs up salt water, and keeps on breathing. (Unlike poor Charlie, Des, who you sent down to a watery grave on the strength of a vision involving, oh, what was it again? Oh yeah! Claire and Aaron. On a helicopter!!!)


So the Oceanic Six plus two are floating on the helicopter’s life raft, when they spot a ship out in the night, and even as they’re shouting for it, I have a nasty flashback to Season One’s finale, and Mr. Friendly asking for Walt…
Jack though, is more concerned about something else, so he tells the others about the Great Lie.
Well, not the details, not yet, but rather, that they just have to lie, about everything, to keep those they left behind safe, from whoever sent that freighter.
But when the Searcher comes close enough, it turns out to be… Penny’s boat!
So Des and Penny get their happy, happy moment, and yes, I am moved by it, but I must ask, Where’s Claire’s semi-happy moment? Damn you, Desmond! Damn you, Lindelof and Cuse!


So the next week is spent off-screen, hatching the details of the Great Lie, and even as the Oceanic Six gather to get on a raft and make it to Membata, it looks like Sun’s still in deep, deep shock.
Frank stays on board the Searcher, of course, as does Des, who says he’ll be okay, so long as he’s with Penny. (What about Claaaaiiire?!?)
And the Oceanic Six make it to Membata…

Now, let’s spin our own Frozen Donkey Wheel, and check out those flashforwards…


Kate has a dream where she sees Claire in Aaron’s room, and Claire tells Kate not to bring Aaron back (to the Island, I believe we can safely assume).
And I think, Oh great, Claire’s really dead, isn’t she? (Damn you, Desmond!)
If she is dead though, why is her ghost (for lack of a better term) telling Kate not to bring Aaron back to the Island, when, normally, the “ghosts” exist to do the Island’s bidding, and as we’ll find out later, everyone has to go back to the Island?


Hurley gets a visit at the loonybin, from… Walt!!!
Walt, who, all growed-up now, tells Hurley he was paid a visit by “Jeremy Bentham,” the fellow in that Season 3 finale coffin.
Walt, who asks Hurley why are they lying about what happened, and Hurley answers, To keep the people we left behind safe.
Like my Dad, poor, hideously naïve Walt asks.
Yeah, Hurley lies, like your Dad…


Hurley then later gets another visit, from… Sayid, a.k.a. Ben’s Crying Freeman.
Sayid tells Hurley about Bentham’s “suicide,” and that he’s breaking Hurley out of the loonybin, to take him someplace safe.
Hurley makes certain, You’re not taking me back there, are you?
No, I’m not, Crying Freeman lies.
And Sayid’s arrival breaks up a chess game Hurley’s apparently having with an unseen Mr. Eko…


And in a shocking flashforward, Sun is in London, and has a chat with… Da Widmore!
From the conversation, it’s clear that Sun’s corporate take-over has successfully placed her in charge.
It also becomes apparent (or so they’re making us think), that Sun is willing to help Da W. find the Island again. (Is this truly Dark Sun, or is she playing along with Ben’s puppetry, to take down the other man she feels is responsible for Jin’s death? But who does Sun hold ultimately responsible, along with her father? Da W.? Or Ben? Or (gasp!) Jack?


And in another shocking flashforward, and a return to that night that began in Season 3’s finale and continued in this finale’s opening moments, Jack returns to that damned anagrammatical funeral parlour. He breaks in, and stands before the closed casket of “Jeremy Bentham.”
But who should also arrive to pay his respects, but… Ben! (Effectively taking him off the Casket Candidate List… Oh. No.)
It turns out that “Bentham” (Oh. No.) not only visited Walt, he also contacted Jack and Kate, and apparently told Jack that after they left the Island, bad, bad things happened, and that they happened because Jack and the others were never meant to leave, and thus, the bad, bad things were all Jack’s fault.
“Bentham” (Oh. No.) was trying to convince them that they all had to go back to the Island, and Ben agrees. And of course, at this point, so does Beardo Jack. Ben’s even aware of Jack’s scarily pathetic flights on Oceanic, just hoping for another crash.
Ben points out though, this is only going to work if you all go back.
Jack then says (oh the poor, depressed, guilt-ridden guy), Hurley’s nuts, and Sun blames me for Jin’s death, and I don’t know where Sayid is, and Kate won’t even talk to me…
Ben then says, I think I can help you with that.
Then, in a morbid turn that ranks right up there with Locke carrying his dead conman da’s body on his back, Ben says, You all have to go back, even him, and we all then get to see the man in the casket, and it’s (Oh. No.) John Locke…

COUNTDOWN: 34.

Parting shot: So the Season 4 2-hour finale originally aired May 29, and I had had this post written and ready a few days afterwards.
It’s suddenly late-November and Season 5 is less than two months away, and only now do I actually get this recap on the Iguana.
Which just goes to prove it isn’t only on the Island where time goes all wonky…

(Lost OS courtesy of impawards.com.)

LOST
Season 4 Episodes 13 & 14
“There’s No Place Like Home” (Parts Two and Three)
Written by Damon Lindelof & Carlton Cuse
Directed by Jack Bender
(WARNING: SPOILERS)

Given the density of events (and resultant chaotic emotions left in those events’ wakes) in this season’s 2-hour finale, I opted to break this into 2 parts, if only to make it a more manageable read.

[1 of 2]

Okay. So the “Frozen Donkey Wheel” has been revealed to the world, and we now know who emerged on the top of the Casket Candidate List (my top three: Michael, Ben, or Locke).
Given the density of events in this season’s 2-hour finale, you’ll perhaps understand if I may inadvertently leave some bit or other out.
Hopefully though, senility won’t get too much of an upper hand…
Into the breach then…


Wondrously, majestically, that spectacular final moment from last season’s finale, comes all the way around the past dozen episodes, and segues into the opening moments of this season’s finale, as Kate actually stops the car in response to Beardo Jack’s plea of returning to the Island.
They have another heart-wrenching conversation, which firmly establishes that it’s been three years since they got off the Island, and that, no way is Kate ever going back there.
Ever.

Now, I’ll have to break protocol and leave off from the flashforward for the moment, and take on the Island goings-on first.

Zodiac Daniel returns to the Beach for the second group to be ferried to the Kahana, and he tells Miles and Charlotte that they should both be on the Zodiac when this trip leaves.
Miles though, opts to stay on the Island (hmmmm…), and is actually surprised that Charlotte seems to be willing to leave the Island as well, considering how hard she’s worked to “get back here” (double hmmmm…).
True enough, when Daniel asks Charlotte again, she says she’s staying, and says something about not yet having found the place where she was born (triple hmmmm…).
So Daniel reluctantly leaves Charlotte, and when Juliet says she’s staying too, since she promised she wouldn’t leave till everyone was safe (did she? I can’t recall that… Go, Ju-Ju! Go!! Can’t you see that look Daniel has? And Daniel, you moron! Tell her!!! Graaarrr!!!!)
So Idiot Zodiac Daniel zooms off…


Meanwhile, Richard and the Others finding Kate and Sayid last episode turns out to be a gambit to rescue Ben.
Even as Keamy is bringing Ben back to the helicopter, where they find Frank still trying to break out of the handcuffs, Kate runs into the clearing, supposedly escaping the Others’ clutches.
The mercenaries fan out into the jungle, but it’s a trap, of course, and they’re picked off one by one, as Kate and Ben scamper off into the jungle, Keamy in hot pursuit. Keamy’s then tackled by Sayid, and a brutal tussle kicks in. It looks like Keamy’s gonna break Sayid’s neck, when Keamy’s shot in the back (by Richard, if I recall correctly).
He’s apparently dead. (Riiiiiighhhht.)
Ben asks what the arrangement was, and Richard says, They help us, and we let them get off the Island.
Ben says, Fair enough. Take the helicopter.


Meanwhile, Jack and Sawyer find Hurley (relieving himself, if I’m not mistaken).
Locke (who can’t find the damned flower Ben mentioned) then attempts to draw Jack into a conversation, to try and convince him that he’s not supposed to leave the Island.
Doc Obsesso doesn’t listen, of course.
Locke, seeing that he can’t change Jack’s mind, makes the plea for the Great Lie, so as to protect the Island. Doc Obsesso scoffs, It’s an island. It doesn’t need to be protected.
Locke says, It’s not an Island. It’s a place where miracles happen.
Naturally, Doc Obsesso claims there are no such things as miracles (despite having gotten his future ex-wife-to-be to walk again, when all indications pointed to the fact that he’d failed to help her)…
Jack is just leaving, when Ben returns. Ben then tells Jack about Kate and Sayid being at the helicopter, and that he should leave if he still intends to.
Jack watches as Ben and Locke get into an elevator and descend into the real Orchid Station.


Jack, Sawyer, and Hurley reach the helicopter, and even as they’re all getting aboard, I’m thinking, So what’s gonna happen to Sawyer (since he isn’t part of the Oceanic Six)?!
And when Hurley asks Jack if they’re coming back to look for Claire, and Jack says, Sure, I’m also thinking, Damn you, Desmond! Where’s your Claire and Aaron getting on a helicopter flash?! Damn you, Lindelof and Cuse! Where’s that flaaaassssshhhh?!?
The answer to the Sawyer question comes soon enough though, as it appears a bullet hit the helicopter and they’re leaking fuel, so if they don’t land soon, they go ker-splash.
Needing to lighten the load, so they can get to the freighter faster, everything that isn’t bolted down gets tossed into the ocean, including… Sawyer!
Actually, when Frank says he’ll be happier if they lose another 200 pounds, there’s a sad shot of Hurley (who’s probably having a traumatic flashback to the whole “dock collapse-due-to-my-weight” thing), before Sawyer whispers something in Kate’s ear (presumably the favour she attends to later on, presumably involving Cassidy and Sawyer’s daughter), liplocks with Kate (which Jack sees with his own Obsesso eyes), then jumps out of the helicopter!
Jack promises they’ll send the helicopter back to look for Sawyer once they’re safely on the freighter. (Riiiiiighhhht.)


Meanwhile, back on the freighter, where it’s supposed to be safe (damn you, Lindelof and Cuse!), Des, Michael, and Jin try and figure out how to stop the C4 from going ka-blooey.
Even as Des (who had some six months’ experience with explosives during his military stint) determines that the C4 will go ka-blooey when some device or other receives a radio signal, Michael figures they can freeze the battery with liquid nitrogen to prevent—or at the very least, slow—the chemical reaction that will trigger the ka-blooey-ness.
(Guessing though that that thingy on Keamy’s arm is what’s supposed to trigger the ka-blooey-ness, why hasn’t the freighter blown sky high yet? Because Sun and Aaron are still on it! Which also means that Keamy’s still alive, despite those bullets to the back…)


And, true enough, who should take the down elevator to the Orchid, but Keamy and his body armor!
But first, Locke is shown the initial portion of the Orchid Orientation video, which seems to indicate that, as Ben succinctly puts it, “time-traveling bunnies” are indeed possible! (Thus, we have confirmation that there is actual physical time-traveling going on in the Lost-verse.)
According to the video, “The Vault” (built adjacent to a “pocket of negatively-charged exotic matter,” where the subject meant to do the time-traveling is to be placed) is also supposed to be kept clear of any metallic objects, but even as Locke is learning this, Ben the Busy Bug-Eyed Bee is placing everything metallic that he can find in the station, into the Vault!
Which is when Keamy arrives.
There’s a conversation, and a scuffle, and when Keamy unwisely goads Ben about Alex’s death, Ben goes postal and stabs the baddie… despite Keamy already having explained about the dead man’s trigger on his arm, and the freighter’s instant ka-blooey-ness, should his heart stop beating.
Locke tries to save the schmuck’s life (so as to prevent the freighter instantly going ka-blooey), but he fails…

… Keamy croaks…


… and back at the Kahana, the light goes red, giving them all about 5 minutes to get off it before the impending ka-blooey.
So Michael valiantly stays to continue freezing the battery to slow the chemical reaction. He tells Des and Jin to go, though Jin stays by Michael’s side.
Even as Des gets to the upper deck, the helicopter comes in, needing to land badly, to refuel.
In the few short minutes of the helicopter actually being on the freighter’s deck, they do their best to plug the bullet hole, pump as much fuel in as they can, and scramble back on board the helicopter.
Below deck, Michael runs out of insta-freeze, and tells Jin, Go, you’re a father now. Take care of your wife and baby, so Jin takes off for the upper deck.
Meanwhile, Sun wants to go below deck to get Jin, but Kate tells her, I’ll go, you take Aaron to the helicopter.
But Jack grabs Kate and says, I’m not leaving without you, and drags her back to the helicopter.
Frank takes off, the Oceanic Six and Des on-board (and I’m thinking, Oh no, what happens to Des?), even as Jin makes it onto the deck, and Sun’s screaming to go back for Jin, and Christian appears to Michael and dismisses him (“You can go now, Michael”), and the Kahana goes ka-blooey.
And poor Sun just keeps on screaming, till Jack tells her, He’s gone, and I’m thinking, Oh no, Sun’ll never forgive him…


So the freighter goes ka-blooey, taking Michael with it (he was right next to the C4, right? This also effectively takes him off the Casket Candidate List…), along with all the poor sock puppets ferried there to their doom by Idiot Zodiac Daniel.
As for Jin, he could have conceivably been blown off the freighter by the explosion, or am I being hideously naïve here?

Back on the beach, Sawyer rises from the sea, shirtless now (and a host of female Lost fans shriek with mad glee), to find Ju-Ju getting sloshed on Dharma rum.
So what are we celebrating? he asks.
I’m not celebrating, Ju-Ju replies, pointing to the column of smoke out at sea.
Our boat? Sawyer asks.
It was, says poor, poor Ju-Ju, who has, yet again missed her chance to get off the Island…

COUNTDOWN: 35.

(Lost OS courtesy of impawards.com.)

PUSHING DAISIES
Season 2 Episode 1
“Bzzzzzzz!”
Written by Bryan Fuller
Directed by Adam Kane
(WARNING: SPOILERS)

Well, this one had its moments, and a bunch of welcome guest spots: French Stewart as Wolsey Nicholls, intent on taking over Betty’s BeesTM; Autumn Reeser as the rather unlucky Number One Bee Girl of Betty’s BeesTM, Kentucky Fitts, who’s the main corpus dilecti of the episode; and Diana Scarwid (yay!) as, not just any nun, but the Mother Superior herself.


Sadly, Scarwid is part of the subplot that I’m having trouble with: for some reason best known to the show’s writers, Olive has been sent off to a nunnery by Lily, the very same nunnery where she brought Chuck to term, because of the secret she’s privy to: that Chuck is in fact, Lily’s daughter, a secret that would kill Vivian, as she was actually engaged to Chuck’s father when the affair took place.
Sure, the nun costumes are cool and kooky, and Pigby has his own certain charm, but I’m dubious about the whole thread and wondering where they plan to take it and what its raison d’etre is.


At any rate, it’s great to have Pushing Daisies back, and to see Adam Kane at the helm again.
They also at least seem to be kicking up Emerson’s lost daughter subplot, so that’s a plus, as Chi McBride rules.
I mean, Steven Harper to Emerson Cod.
Who knew?

(Images courtesy of ABC, avclub.com, and destinything.com.)

THE MIDDLEMAN
Season 1 Episode 6
“The Boy-Band Superfan Interrogation”
Written by Jordan Rosenberg
Directed by Norman Buckley


“Wow, there really is a hole in space.”
“With a duck caught inside.”

Ah, now this is my favourite episode thus far.
Yes, the Dub Dub personal life subplot (Pip copies Wendy’s paintings and passes them off as his own) doesn’t mesh very well with the main MiddlePlot, but this one’s got some killer lines, hilarious moments, the fate of the world—and Ida—in the balance, and, oh yes, boy bands…


“How could you be alive and not know Varsity Fanclub, Dub Dub?”
“How can you know Varsity Fanclub and not want to end it all?”

Varsity Fanclub (“… only the most popular boy band in the world!”), comprised of “Jake the crooner, Thomas the heartthrob, Bobby the street tough, Drew the charmer, and the requisite man of mystery, David,” are at the heart of this episode’s MiddlePlot, and it’s a hoot and a half.
I won’t get into the deets (as Pip would put it), but suffice it to say that not only does the episode maybe-reference SF TV series V, it also most definitely references A New Hope and George Lucas.


“But I’ve always been fascinated by the ability of pre-assembled sets of sub-masculine archetypes to tug at the heartstrings of a 12- to 17-year-old fan base.”
“Funny, I’ve always been fascinated by their ability to bring up my lunch.”

Granted, the subplot does seem rather removed from the MiddlePlot, but it does contain some thoughts on art and artists, which racks up some more points for this one.
Still and all, the star here is Jordan Rosenberg’s sinisterly laughable take on pre-packaged popular music, and how the fate of the world may very well lie in the hands of the tween set.
Be afraid.
Be very afraid.

“Only tween-age screams of ecstasy have the strength to cut a hole in space itself! How could I not see it before?”

Parting shot: Just as Ali Damji owned his scene in “The Flying Fish Zombification,” Alan Smyth’s High Aldwin, Supreme Commander of the Clotharian Rebel Fleet just slays…


Parting shot 2: Jordan Rosenberg is, like the mighty monster that is Gree-Joe Marks-Watch, also a Lost alum; Rosenberg co-wrote Season 3’s “Par Avion” with Christina M. Kim.

(Images courtesy of abcfamily.go.com and themiddleblog.livejournal.com.)

ENTOURAGE
Season 5 Episode 3
“The All Out Fall Out”
Written by Rob Weiss
Directed by Mark Mylod


Ahhh, there’s Mrs. Ari! And Shauna!
Woot!!!

The Vince-facing-bankruptcy subplot evolves into a Vince-making-a-paid appearance-at-a-sweet 16 subplot, with Fran Drescher as the sweet 16’s mother (Kevin Pollak plays the da), and pretty much the only bright spot here is Debi Mazar. (Drama getting drunk in his post-Jacqueline break-up depression and hurling all over the cake is definitely not a bright spot.)
Then there’s the Ari and Mrs. Ari anniversary subplot, where Adam Davies gets caught in the crossfire, and while the b!tchslap was priceless, the biggest bright spot here has to be Perrey Reeves.


Oh, and Carla Gugino’s also in the house, to relay the message that Nine Brave Souls has caught the attention of Ed Norton, who wants to rechristen it Smokejumpers and turn it into a studio picture…
Hrrrm… can we see where this is going?


(Images courtesy of hbo.com.)