FANTASTIC FOUR:
RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER
(Review)

If you’re a comic book fan who loves a good film adaptation of your favorite hero—and what self-respecting fanboy doesn’t?—the 80’s were not a kind decade to you.
DC’s Superman franchise was running on empty with Superman III, and that particular flight ended in a messy crash with Superman IV: The Quest For Peace. Meanwhile, Tim Burton was yet to redefine the superhero film at the tail end of the decade.
But for all the misfires DC had at the time, Marvel was by far the more evil villain in that scenario.
There were low budget attempts at Captain America and The Punisher, and inept TV stabs at Thor and Daredevil, all of them not particularly good, and some, downright dreadful.
Funnily enough, these days it feels like a Marvel renaissance, with most of their efforts falling squarely into the not-particularly-good-and-some-downright-dreadful category.
Granted, the effects and costumes are way better, but a lot of the plots and scripts, and some of the performances, could very well have traveled here on a time machine from the good old 80’s to leave us comic geeks with sleepless, rant-filled nights.*

At this point, I should establish that Marvel’s latest, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, is actually better than some past turkeys like Ghost Rider, Daredevil, and Elektra. FF:RotSS is even better than its predecessor (see reVIEW (1); Archive June 2007).
That doesn’t make it a good film though.

The plot is just as threadbare as the original’s: the Silver Surfer (frequent Guillermo Del Toro collaborator Doug Jones, voiced by Laurence Fishburne) arrives on Earth to prepare it for the coming of the dreaded Galactus (in this incarnation, a planet-devouring cloud), thus disrupting the fourth attempt at a proper wedding by Reed Richards (Ioan Gruffudd) and Sue Storm (Jessica Alba).
The U.S. Military gets Reed to help them, Victor Von Doom (Julian McMahon) crashes the party, Galactus arrives, but is thwarted by our heroes.
In the midst of all this, what I can only assume are attempts at “fun” and “funny”—schtick that barely manages to be juvenile hi-jinx—pepper the 92 minute running time like fleas on a mangy dog. (And though it’s good that all the power-switching becomes a climactic plot point, the bachelor party dance is still a particularly atrocious bit.)

Just as in Fantastic Four, where there was no joy to be found in a plot, we also don’t really see much in the way of characters again.
Even Chris Evans, whose superficial Johnny Storm was the highlight of the team in the first film, doesn’t seem as convincing as he once was. And what could have been an interesting character arc (as Johnny learns some much-needed lessons in responsibility) is not fully explored.
There’s some conflict with Sue wanting a normal married life away from the media spotlight, but it’s pretty much lip service and doesn’t have the ring of authenticity.

It’s really only when the CGI takes center stage that the film becomes halfway decent, particularly when Galactus arrives to devour the Earth, ironically, the sequence that could potentially piss off countless fanboys with its depiction of the Jack Kirby planet-eater as a roiling cloud.
With visual effects by Weta, The Orphanage, and a handful of other effects houses, the spectacle is certainly not too shabby. But without any honest emotional underpinnings and real characters, the film cannot generate any genuine tension and is grossly unsuccessful in involving its audience in its story. Without characters to truly care for, all we’ve got here that merits any sort of attention are pixels; pixels that are sure pretty to look at, but certainly not pixels worth any sort of emotional investment.
Did it look impressive? At times, it actually did.
Did I feel for once that there was any real danger, that the Earth stood on the brink of total destruction, and that all life as we know it was in jeopardy?
Certainly not.

If there is any triumph to be found here, it’s that director Tim Story managed to deliver a better film than the sad-a$$ original. (At the very least, Story’s got a better track record than Mark Steven Johnson. Already guilty of inflicting Daredevil upon us, Johnson outdid himself with the horrible Ghost Rider; review in Archive March 2007.)
But it’s a hollow victory, as FF:RotSS is nowhere near being a good comic book film adaptation; it’s the kind of comic book film where the heroes still have time to do some goofy skywriting even as Venice is sinking into the sea.
It’s all ultimately very inconsequential and disposable, like a planet that’s had the life sucked out of it by Galactus. And where’s the fun in taking an hour-and-a-half long round through lifeless territory?

* The other thing that’s different about Marvel’s current crop of stinkers is that a lot of them are making money. Ghost Rider is actually the 13th biggest film of the year at the moment, with a total gross of $115, 802, 596. FF:RotSS is 10th, with $128,879,368! (And these are just the domestic figures for the U.S. box office.)

(Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer OS courtesy of kinopoisk.ru.)

A few introductory words…

This is the inaugural voyage of reVIEW, where I’ll be running reviews of past films for any number of reasons.
For example, for this particular installment, I’m resurrecting an old review of Tim Story’s Fantastic Four, as its sequel, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, opens tomorrow in the local multiplexes.
Will it be better than its predecessor? I certainly hope so…

reVIEW (1)
FANTASTIC FOUR

Since 1998’s Blade, Marvel has glutted the multiplexes with film adaptations of their comic book superheroes: inclusive of Blade, an even dozen in 7 years. Sadly though, I've only fully enjoyed three of these: Guillermo Del Toro’s Blade II, Bryan Singer’s X2, and Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man. (I actually have a lot of issues with X-Men and Spider-Man 2, so they're not on that particular shortlist.)

The rest, well…

So where does that leave Marvel’s latest, Tim Story’s Fantastic Four? Biting a whole hell of a lot of cosmic dust.

Brilliant and bankrupt scientist Reed Richards (Ioan Gruffudd, King Arthur’s Lancelot) approaches long-time rival Victor Von Doom (Julian McMahon, from TV’s Profiler, Charmed, and Nip/Tuck) to fund a space mission to research the effects of a cosmic storm on the genetic structure of organisms. Along for the ride are Richards’ best friend Ben Grimm (Michael Chiklis, TV’s The Shield), his ex-girlfriend, Sue Storm (Jessica Alba), and Sue’s brother, Johnny (Cellular’s Chris Evans).
In grand comic book tradition, the irradiation they suffer in a freak accident causes genetic mutations (CGI, ahoy!) which, though apparently giving Doom precisely what he wants, pisses him off so much, he goes after the media-dubbed Fantastic Four, intent on putting their budding superhero careers to a quick and sudden stop.
Now, fair warning, I’m not exaggerating when I say that that’s the whole movie. No frills, no nothing. Just that.

On the heels of Marvel’s recent stinkers, Blade: Trinity and Elektra, I was truly hoping that Fantastic Four would at least have some of the kinetic energy all comic book films should have as a matter of course.
Instead, it’s a pretty standard and unimpressive tale we’re treated to. Which is doubly frustrating for me, as Four’s script was co-written by Mark Frost, who co-created (with David Lynch) my all-time favorite television series, Twin Peaks, and wrote the excellent period thriller The List of 7. I’m not exactly sure what Frost contributed to the script, but I’m hard-pressed to find anything of significant redeeming value.
The plot, as I outlined above, is a bare-bones comic adventure of the old school, with characters that never manage to rise above the two dimensions of their four-color pulp origins.

In the nearly two hours of running time, we are told who these characters are, without the plot actually presenting any opportunity for us to see what they’re really about.
We’re constantly told how smart Reed is, but never actually see Gruffudd come across as frighteningly intellectual; he seems more uptight and distracted. Ben’s loyalty to Reed seems hardly sketched in. Alba (making a bid to join the ranks of Genre Pin-Up Girls) meanwhile, also doesn’t register as the genetics expert she’s supposed to be. Assertive woman, sometimes. Brainy, no.
The only one who manages to come across is Evans, who even cuts the figure of a superhero in the body-hugging costumes designed by Jose Fernandez and Wendy Partridge. (Partridge also designed costumes for Del Toro films Blade II and Hellboy.) Of course, Johnny Storm is the most shallow of the quartet, so his let’s-have-fun-with-this philosophy gets really old, really quick.
And McMahon’s Doom, though certainly not as dismal a villain as Dominic Purcell’s Drake in Blade: Trinity, is still a painfully flat and uninteresting character.
Thus, saddled with these cardboard cut-outs moving through the paces of a threadbare plot, nothing in this film seems of any particular consequence, and the climactic battle unfolds as obligatory pantomime, the closing celebration like a cartoon ending with all the heroes smiling and laughing, and the sinister coda a painful telegraph of “Sequel!”

Once more, Marvel, in its rush to get its properties on the silver screen, has apparently handed material over to writers and directors who don’t seem to know what to do with it.
There is nothing particularly fresh in Fantastic Four to make the film worth the audience’s while. This is stale and leaden, yet another sign of Marvel’s acceptance of the mediocre for the end result of character recognizability (which translates into revenue from the myriad media tie-ins, including of course, the comics from which the characters stem).
In the end though, it is Marvel’s seeming lack of respect for the film medium which leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
Comic book characters may be one of Hollywood’s hot properties du jour, but all bubbles burst, and, with what Marvel’s doing these days, they’re shortening the bubble’s half-life in fantastic leaps and amazing bounds.

(This review was originally published—yes, as in printed on paper made from dead trees—under the title, “Can’t Seem To Get Past Four.”)

(Fantastic Four OS courtesy of impawards.com)

PREMONITION

(Review)

Linda Hanson (Sandra Bullock) is an ordinary mother and housewife who experiences the sudden and wrenching loss of her husband Jim (Julian McMahon, Nip/Tuck’s Dr. Christian Troy, and Fantastic Four’s Doctor Doom) to a senseless vehicular accident, only to wake up one morning to discover her husband alive and well.
But as the days come and go, Linda finds herself apparently shuttling back and forth through time, one day before the accident, the next day, after. And as Linda is increasingly distressed and unsettled by her predicament, she struggles to comprehend why this is happening to her.

From a script by Bill Kelly (who wrote the Brendan Fraser/Alicia Silverstone romantic comedy Blast From The Past) and directed by Mennan Yapo (Lautlos—Soundless), Premonition certainly has a tantalizing premise. I’ve always had a fascination with non-linear storytelling, and here was a film that would have that not just as a narrative technique, but as a crucial plot point.
And the execution of the idea is skilled enough that confusion can be kept to a minimum, provided one is paying attention. The problem, I feel, lies in the general attitude Linda takes in response to her predicament.

There is a certain sense of fatalism that permeates Premonition, as if Linda immediately understands that all is predestined, that she is being shown a future that is inevitable somehow; that she is witness to this eventuality not so she can prevent it, but so that she can prepare herself to accept it when it does take place.
There is no struggle here, no raging against the dying of the light. It almost feels like she already made her decision regarding her husband even before the film started rolling, a decision we weren’t privy to, so we don’t see the process of her coming to that conclusion.
Rather, what we see is a wife who doesn’t really seem to care about her husband enough to even warn him of what she has seen is coming (until it’s too late to make a difference). As a result, Linda seems far too passive a protagonist for the audience to completely identify with.

That fatalism then translates into a vague sense of lassitude, to the point where the audience isn’t really emotionally involved so much as merely along for the ride, only mildly concerned as to when they will finally get to their expected destination.
Kelly and Yapo seem to have replaced any tension the film might have had with an odd mixture of uncertainty (as to when in time we’ll wake up next) and confidence (knowing full well this will all end in tears) that only serves to cancel each other out, leaving us with nothing but a vague sense of distance from the proceedings.

Linda’s true feelings about her husband and the situation she finds herself in never truly externalizes for the audience to see. The story would perhaps have been better served had it been executed in written form, where internal thought processes are more accessible to the reader.
What’s more, when we are presented with certain mysteries, the consequences of actions we have yet to see, because Linda hasn’t experienced them yet, there is a certain expectancy as to the nature of the payoff. Things are built up, surrounded by sinister airs. (Where did those wounds come from? Why is there a page missing from the directory?) When we do uncover the truths though, they’re ultimately, painfully, pedestrian, rendering the film’s tiny mysteries gratuitous—and vain—exercises in building tension.

In the end, nothing really quite meshes in Premonition.
Even the final scene, which attempts to leave the story on a hopeful note, feels like nothing so much as making the best out of a really horrible situation, which would not be so bad, if one sensed some vital surge of dynamic belief from Linda. But once more, it’s that prevalent aura of fatalism that the character wears like a second skin which colours the film’s ending, and leaves us dissastisfied and curiously unmoved by it all.

(Premonition OS courtesy of wildaboutmovies.com.)