Five-Legged Iguana

TRUE BLOOD
Season 1 Episode 3
“Mine”
Written by Alan Ball
Directed by John Dahl
(WARNING: SPOILERS)

“Honey, if we can’t kill people, what’s the point of bein’ a vampire?”
-- Malcolm to Bill

Well, now.
Far as I’m concerned, True Blood has just kicked into high gear.


Right up front, we get a great helping of the show’s vampire mythology, particularly the social structures and hierarchy involved, as well as the differing opinions regarding the race’s having come out of the coffin.
It’s an added plus that the performers playing the vampire nest—Andrew Rothenberg, Aunjanue Ellis (from Justice and E-Ring), and General Hospital’s Graham Shiels—are splendid additions to the show’s cast.
Rothenberg’s Malcolm, older than Bill and a petulant bastard, runs the nest, which includes Ellis’ Diane (who apparently had sex with Bill back in the ‘30’s), and Shiels’ Liam, who’s the bald bloodsucking mofo we saw on the video with Maudette.
These are the down and dirty vampires who could give a rat’s a$ about co-existing with humans, and of course, will undoubtedly spell trouble for Bill and Sookie and the rest of the breathers on the show.


Then there’s what could be the second victim of whoever offed Maudette, poor Dawn.
Again, as with Maudette, the victim’s someone who’s, a) been bitten by a vampire, and b) just been in a sexual relationship with horndog Jason, who, by the way, is exhibiting more and more signs of his vampire fixation.
Concerned about his, erm, performance, Jason tries to score some Viagra off Lafayette, who instead sells him some V-juice, for, uhhh, an interesting dance. (Strange and hilarious scene, one of the best of the show yet…)


There’re also some great discussions in here, from Bill and Sookie’s dialogue regarding magic and vampires, to Tara and Sam’s heart-to-heart, which leads to them mutually ending their months-long sexual droughts.
Speaking of Tara, her tumultuous relationship with her alky mom (American Dreams’ Adina Porter) also gets a spotlight.
All that, plus the possibility of a divine reason for Starbucks, and the punchline to Gran’s story about Uncle Frank.
Priceless.

Parting shot: O.C. fans may appreciate the brief appearance of Nicholas Gonzalez (Marissa’s Season 2 poolboy paramour, D.J.), as Malcolm’s boytoy, Jerry.

“You know what I really wish would come to Marthaville? Huh? Buffy. Or Blade. Or any one of those bad-a$$ vampire killers to take care of Mr. Bill Compton. That’s what I wish.”
-- Sam to the Mystery Dog

Parting shot: Given the particularly delayed, post-Golden Globe nature of this review’s posting, I would be remiss if I did not congratulate Ms. Anna Paquin, for her Globe win.
Of course, given my still not-completely-won over status regarding Ms. Paquin, let me just say that if she won, then, for future reference, certain other cast members need to be Globe-acknowledged in the Supporting categories as well. (Please stand up, Rutina Wesley.)
Hear that, aitch-ef-pee-ey?

(Images courtesy of fanpop.com.)