AFTERTHOUGHTS (104)
SCREAM, BABY, SCREAM 2008 (2)

And the noteworthy winners at this year’s Scream Awards are…


The Dark Knight
The Ultimate Scream
Best Sequel
Best Comic Book Movie
Best Director (Christopher Nolan)
Best Screamplay (Christopher Nolan, Jonathan Nolan, & David S. Goyer)
Best Superhero (Christian Bale as Batman)
Best Villain (Heath Ledger as The Joker)
Best Actor in a Fantasy Movie or TV Show (Heath Ledger)
Best Supporting Performance (Gary Oldman)
The Holy Sh!t Scene of the Year (The Big Rig Flips Over)
Best F/X
Best Line (“I believe whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stranger.”: The Joker)


Dexter
Best TV Show


Hellboy II: The Golden Army
Best Fantasy Movie


Iron Man
Best Science Fiction Movie
Best Actor in a Science Fiction Movie or TV Show (Robert Downey, Jr.)


The Strangers
Best Actress in a Horror Movie or TV Show (Liv Tyler)


Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
Best Horror Movie
Best Actor in a Horror Movie or TV Show (Johnny Depp)


Teeth
Most Memorable Mutilation (Bitten By Vagina With Teeth)


Wanted
Best Actress in a Fantasy Movie or TV Show (Angelina Jolie)

Rob Zombie’s Halloween was also pronounced Best Remake.
Congratulations, one and all. (All the winners can be accessed from here.)
Reviews of all the above films (as well as episodic recaps of Dexter) can be found in the Archive.

Parting shot: Congratulations must also go out to His Scottish Brilliance, Grant Morrison, for taking home Best Comic Book Writer, and to Gabriel Ba, for scooping up Best Comic Book Artist for his work on The Umbrella Academy: Apocalypse Suite.

(Images courtesy of aintitcool.com, empireonline.com, impawards.com, and rickbrotherton.com.)

AFTERTHOUGHTS (103)
SCREAM, BABY, SCREAM 2008

The nominees for this year’s Scream Awards have just been announced, and those that have got me jazzed are:


30 Days of Night
Best Horror Movie
Best Comic Book Movie


Battlestar Galactica
Best TV Show
Best Actor in a Science Fiction Movie or TV Show (Edward James Olmos)
Best Actress in a Science Fiction Movie or TV Show (Tricia Helfer)
Best Scream To Comic Adaptation


Cloverfield
The Ultimate Scream
Best Science Fiction Movie
Best Screamplay (Drew Goddard)
Best Actress in a Science Fiction Movie or TV Show (Odette Yustman)
Breakout Performance (Jessica Lucas)
Breakout Performance (T.J. Miller)
Breakout Performance (Odette Yustman)
The Holy Sh!t Scene of the Year (The Statue of Liberty/Empire State Building Attack)
Best F/X


The Dark Knight
The Ultimate Scream
Best Fantasy Movie
Best Sequel
Best Comic Book Movie
Best Director (Christopher Nolan)
Best Screamplay (Christopher Nolan, Jonathan Nolan, & David S. Goyer)
Best Superhero (Christian Bale as Batman)
Best Villain (Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent/Two-Face)
Best Villain (Heath Ledger as The Joker)
Best Actor in a Fantasy Movie or TV Show (Christian Bale)
Best Actor in a Fantasy Movie or TV Show (Heath Ledger)
Best Actress in a Fantasy Movie or TV Show (Maggie Gyllenhaal)
Best Supporting Performance (Michael Caine)
Best Supporting Performance (Gary Oldman)
The Holy Sh!t Scene of the Year (The Batmobile/Batpod Chase)
The Holy Sh!t Scene of the Year (The Big Rig Flips Over)
Most Memorable Mutilation (The Pencil Trick)
Best F/X
Best Line (“I believe whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stranger.”: The Joker)
Best Line (“I will now make this pencil disappear.”: The Joker)
Best Line (“Why so serious?”: The Joker)


Dexter
Best TV Show
Best Actor in a Horror Movie or TV Show (Michael C. Hall)
Best Actress in a Horror Movie or TV Show (Julie Benz)


Funny Games US
Best Remake
Best Actress in a Horror Movie or TV Show (Naomi Watts)


Hancock
Best Fantasy Movie
Best Superhero (Will Smith as John Hancock)
Best Actress in a Fantasy Movie or TV Show (Charlize Theron)
Best Supporting Performance (Jason Bateman)


Hellboy II: The Golden Army
The Ultimate Scream
Best Fantasy Movie
Best Sequel
Best Director (Guillermo del Toro)
Best Superhero (Ron Perlman as Hellboy)
Best Actor in a Fantasy Movie or TV Show (Ron Perlman)
Best Actress in a Fantasy Movie or TV Show (Selma Blair)
Best Supporting Performance (Doug Jones)
Breakout Performance (Anna Walton)
Most Memorable Mutilation (Attacked By The Flesh-Eating Tooth Fairies)
Best F/X
Best Line (“I’m not a baby… I’m a tumor.”: The Tumor)


Heroes
Best TV Show
Best Superhero (Masi Oka as Hiro Nakamura)
Best Villain (Zachary Quinto as Sylar)
Best Actress in a Fantasy Movie or TV Show (Hayden Panettiere)


Iron Man
The Ultimate Scream
Best Science Fiction Movie
Best Comic Book Movie
Best Director (Jon Favreau)
Best Screamplay (Mark Fergus, Hawk Ostby, Arthur Marcum, & Matthew Hollaway)
Best Superhero (Robert Downey, Jr. as Iron Man)
Best Villain (Jeff Bridges as Obadiah Stane)
Best Actor in a Science Fiction Movie or TV Show (Robert Downey, Jr.)
Best Actress in a Science Fiction Movie or TV Show (Gwyneth Paltrow)
Best Supporting Performance (Terrence Howard)
The Holy Sh!t Scene of the Year (Escape From Ten Rings Hideout)
The Holy Sh!t Scene of the Year (Iron Man’s First Flight)
Best F/X
Best Line (“I am Iron Man!”: Tony Stark)


Lost
The Ultimate Scream
Best TV Show
Best Actor in a Fantasy Movie or TV Show (Terry O’Quinn)


The Mist
The Ultimate Scream
Best Horror Movie
Best Director (Frank Darabont)
Best Screamplay (Frank Darabont)
Best Actor in a Horror Movie or TV Show (Thomas Jane)


El Orfanato (The Orphanage)
Best Horror Movie
Best Screamplay (Sergio G. Sanchez)
Best Actor in a Horror Movie or TV Show (Fernando Cayo)
Best Actress in a Horror Movie or TV Show (Belen Rueda)


Pushing Daisies
Breakout Performance (Anna Friel)


The Ruins
Best Horror Movie
Best Actor in a Horror Movie or TV Show (Jonathan Tucker)
Best Actress in a Horror Movie or TV Show (Jena Malone)
Most Memorable Mutilation (The Leg Amputation)


Saw IV
Best Sequel
Best Villain (Tobin Bell as Jigsaw)
Most Memorable Mutilation (The Autopsy)


Southland Tales
Best Science Fiction Movie
Best Actor in a Science Fiction Movie or TV Show (Dwayne Johnson)


The Strangers
Best Horror Movie
Best Actress in a Horror Movie or TV Show (Liv Tyler)


Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
Best Horror Movie
Best Director (Tim Burton)
Best Actor in a Horror Movie or TV Show (Johnny Depp)
Best Actress in a Horror Movie or TV Show (Helena Bonham Carter)
Best Villain (Alan Rickman as Judge Turpin)


Teeth
Most Memorable Mutilation (Bitten By Vagina With Teeth)


Wanted
Best Fantasy Movie
Best Comic Book Movie
Best Actor in a Fantasy Movie or TV Show (James McAvoy)
Best Actress in a Fantasy Movie or TV Show (Angelina Jolie)
The Holy Sh!t Scene of the Year (The Reverse Kill Shot)
Best F/X

Congratulations, one and all.
Reviews of all the above films and television shows can be found in the Archive.

Other nominated films also reviewed here at the Iguana are:
Beowulf (Best Fantasy Movie; Best F/X);
The Eye (Best Remake);
Halloween (Best Remake; Best Director [Rob Zombie]);
I Am Legend (Best Science Fiction Movie; Best Actor in a Science Fiction Movie or TV Show [Will Smith]; Most Memorable Mutilation [Attacked By The Infected]);
The Incredible Hulk (Best Fantasy Movie; Best Comic Book Movie; Best Remake; Best Superhero [Edward Norton as The Hulk]; Best Actor in a Fantasy Movie or TV Show [Edward Norton]; Best Line [“Hulk Smash!”: The Hulk]); and
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (Best Science Fiction Movie; Best Sequel; Best Actor in a Science Fiction Movie or TV Show [Harrison Ford]; Best Supporting Performance [Shia LaBeouf]).

Among this year’s board (who advised on categories and determined nominees in each category) are: Wes Craven, Neil Gaiman, Tim Kring, Eli Roth, Guillermo del Toro, Kevin Smith, and Stephen King.
Beginning September 12 (Friday) through October 17, voting will be open at scream.spike.com.
The awards will take place on October 18, Saturday, at The Greek Theater in Los Angeles, CA, and will premiere on Spike TV on October 21, Tuesday (9:00-11:00 PM ET/PT).

(Images courtesy of aintitcool.com, bloody-disgusting.com, empireonline.com, impawards.com, rickbrotherton.com, scifi.com, shocktillyoudrop.com, spike.com, and yahoo.com.)

HELLBOY II:
THE GOLDEN ARMY
(Review)

If you give the Iguana a visit every now and again, you’ll most likely know that I love me my Guillermo del Toro.
The initial blush of curiosity with which I greeted his odd little vampire tale Cronos, has over the years blossomed into a reverent admiration for his exquisitely-told tales of dark, macabre fantasy.
The thing of it is, though, the original Hellboy holds the dubious distinction of being the film I least like in del Toro’s oeuvre. The clunky, ill-paced script and the disappointing, anti-climactic wrap-up, left me with a cinematic experience that suffered terribly when put up against his other popcorn effort, Blade II. (Even del Toro’s first Hollywood foray, Mimic, compromised as it was, was still a lot more fun than Hellboy turned out to be.)
Thus, coming into Hellboy II: The Golden Army, all I really hoped for was that it would at least be better than the original.
Thankfully, it is.
On the downside though, it displays some of the same problems Hellboy had.


Unlike the original (which was adapted from the Hellboy comic, Seed of Destruction), The Golden Army springs from a script penned by del Toro, centering on the Elven Prince Nuada (Blade II’s Luke Goss), who seeks to wage war on humanity by loosing the titular, purportedly indestructible, army upon the world.
The problem with del Toro’s script isn’t its premise though (which is serviceable enough), but rather the manner in which its myriad parts—most of which work rather well, I should note—interact with each other.


The action set pieces—particularly those which feature the bada$$ Nuada—are certainly better than those in the original.
The character bits are—again, as with the original—the best sections of the entire film.
Even the climax, which turns on a decidedly emotional pivot, works far more effectively than Hellboy’s.
But as much as most of the individual narrative pieces do their work, del Toro never quite finds the right rhythm to make the whole a smooth, flowing ride. Comedic bits—a few, sadly strained—blunder into character moments, which then bump up against explosions and fisticuffs.
The erratic pacing of the whole then results in a two-hour running time that ultimately seems longer.


Script problems aside though, The Golden Army is still a worthwhile cinematic experience, and there’s a number of folk that need to be commended for that.
First, the familiar del Toro stalwart, cinematographer Guillermo Navarro (who shot the original Hellboy, as well as Cronos, El espinazo del diablo, and El laberinto del fauno, for which he took home an Oscar, as well as a whole bunch of other honours), who captures all the wonder evident in the costumes of Sammy Sheldon (who also worked on Stardust, V For Vendetta, and The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy), and the production design of Stephen Scott (also on the credit roll of Hellboy).


Secondly, there’s the supremely kick-a$$ fight sequences, courtesy of Jackie Chan cohort, Bradley James Allan, who also choreographed The Chronicles of Riddick.
Here, Allan’s work manages to give Blade II’s fight sequences a decent run, while avoiding any overt CGI flourishes (which slightly mar some moments in Blade II).
And hey, Allan also did stunt double duty on the Chan-produced Dak ging san yan lui (Gen-X Cops), so that’s a doubleplusgood in my books.


Thirdly, there’s the amazing creature work by Mike Elizalde’s Spectral Motion, who likewise did time on the original Hellboy (and whose work can also be seen in Monkeybone, Altered, and Lady in the Water, as well as the upcoming Seventh Moon and the live-action Blood: The Last Vampire adaptation).
Realizing in practical terms creature designs which originated from del Toro’s sketchbook, Elizalde supplies 15 creatures for The Golden Army (as compared to the mere 5 for Hellboy), including the incredible Angel of Death.
With the astounding work done here Elizalde proves that genuine characters may be found in the midst of latex and animatronics, and with the effects legend Stan Winston recently departed, it’s comforting to know there are others who can fill the void of his passing.


Giving invaluable assistance in the discovery and realization of those characters, we should also note the contributions of Doug Jones, whose physical performances do much to inform the costumes he wears with a vital and potent substance, and Family Guy/American Dad creator Seth MacFarlane, for bringing bags of amusing levity as the voice of by-the-books BPRD operative, Johann Krauss.
Sadly though, while Goss once again brings a palpable level of pathos to his character, as he did in Blade II, Anna Walton, who plays Nuada’s twin, Nuala, isn’t given much to do beyond looking suitably princess-like. Worse, the script stymies her character on occasion just to get to the next action set piece, or to move the narrative along. If she’d only immediately said, “You should really stop that jumping bean from reaching water,” or “Oh, by the way, since Nuada’s my twin, he can find me wherever I am,” then the film’s characters would have been spared boatloads of grief…


Ultimately, what The Golden Army seems to prove is, if del Toro must do a popcorn movie, then he really should be kept away from the script, or at the very least, have a co-writer by his side (Blade II was written by David Goyer, and Mimic was co-written with Matthew Robbins, who also penned Dragonslayer and *batteries not included).
It seems as if del Toro’s storytelling is better suited to films like El espinazo del diablo or El laberinto del fauno, where action set pieces aren’t required to punctuate the narrative, and the only real fuel that’s needed is his rich and seemingly boundless taste for the fantastic.

Parting shot: Reviews of del Toro’s Blade II and El laberinto del fauno can be found in the Archive, alongside reviews of Mutant Chronicles and The Last Winter (which star Hellboy himself, Ron Perlman).

(Hellboy II: The Golden Army OS [design by BLT & Associates] and Angel of Death character OS courtesy of impawards.com; images courtesy of latimes.com [Guillermo del Toro and Mike Elizalde, photos by Egon Endrenyi]; kungfucinema.com; mtv.com; and shocktillyoudrop.com.)

Thanx to Rej and MeAnn of New Worlds, for the cool headgear, the reading material, and of course, the tickets to the Troll Market, and to Jeb, for coming along for the ride…

AFTERTHOUGHTS (92)
MAKE A DIFFERENCE



What more is there to say?

(Banner courtesy of hetfet.org.)

AFTERTHOUGHTS (90)
“RIGHT THERE! RIGHT THERE!”

And more fun with Chuck…



(Video courtesy of youtube.com.)

AFTERTHOUGHTS (89)
“WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE WORD?”

More fun with James Lipton…



(Video courtesy of youtube.com.)

AFTERTHOUGHTS (88)
“LATINO!”

Big Red auditions for Yasmine and Crash…



(Video courtesy of youtube.com.)

AFTERTHOUGHTS (87)
“AND YOU DON’T WANT TO GET ON THEIR BAD SIDE…”

A great PSA from Big Red…



(Video courtesy of youtube.com.)

AFTERTHOUGHTS (86)
“THAT’S WHAT YOU GUYS DO TOO?”

Okay, this is more like it…
Following the slight hiccup that was the American Gladiators cross-over, here’s Big Red comparing notes with Jason Hawes and Grant Wilson…



(Video courtesy of youtube.com.)

AFTERTHOUGHTS (85)
“COOL!”

Okay, this one’s the shortest spot so far, and the first one that kind of left me going, “Meh…”
At any rate, a few more cross-overs are rumoured to be on the way, presumably before the July 11 opening of The Golden Army.
Till then, here’s Big Red again…



(Video courtesy of youtube.com.)

AFTERTHOUGHTS (84)
“BOOYAH!”

And I thought Chuck vs. Hellboy was cool.
Now Big Red takes on… James Lipton!



(Video courtesy of youtube.com.)

AFTERTHOUGHTS (82)
“LUNCHBOXES!”

While we’re waiting for Mr. Bartowski’s return this fall, here he is, with… ummm… Hellboy.



(Video courtesy of youtube.com.)