A Rundown of the 13 Best Horror Movies I've Seen in the Past Year
[6 of 13]

THE AUTOPSY OF JANE DOE

(September 2016)

"Mommy told me something a little girl should know.
It’s all about the Devil and I’ve learned to hate him so.

She said he causes trouble when you let him in the room.

He will never ever leave you if your heart is filled with gloom.”

--“Open Up Your Heart”

The body of an unidentified young woman found under strange circumstances is brought in to the Tilden Morgue & Crematorium, where father and son Tildens, Tommy (Brian Cox) and Austin (Emile Hirsch) set about to uncover cause of death.

But this is far from a cut and dried post mortem, as the Tildens soon discover…

The Autopsy of Jane Doe is a rousing “Welcome Back!” for director André Øvredal (who was last seen ‘round these parts in the 2011 ¡Qué horror! rundown, with Trolljegeren).

This time though, there are no amusing, humorous chuckles to be had. This is dark and disturbing stuff, courtesy of a script by Ian Goldberg and Richard Naing, which is, honestly, a welcome surprise.

Familiar with some of Goldberg’s work on Once Upon a Time and Dead of Summer (for which Naing also wrote an episode), I hadn’t expected him capable of horror of this grimness. I’m glad to be divested of that impression.

So effective is the film that no less than Guillermo del Toro (“A fun, stylish, beautifully built funhouse of horror!”) and Stephen King (“Visceral horror to rival ALIEN and early Cronenberg. Watch it, but not alone.”) have sung its praises.

¡Qué horror! can do naught but agree…

“Whatever the hell happened in here… we are way past possible.”

(The Autopsy of Jane Doe OS’ courtesy of bloody-disgusting.com & mondotees.com.)

A Rundown of the 13 Best Horror Movies I've Seen in the Past Year
[5 of 13]

A DARK SONG

(July 2016)

"This is a serious undertakin'. It's not fuckin’ astral projection or runes. This is real stuff we’re playin’ with.

“Real angels, real demons.”

Writer/director Liam Gavin’s feature debut, A Dark Song, is a vastly impressive piece that sees Sophia (Dark Touch’s Catherine Walker) hire Joseph Solomon (Steve Oram from TV’s Glue and The Living and the Dead) to help her with a heavy-duty occult ritual.

Isolated along with the pair in a house in the Welsh countryside, we watch as they gradually move through the varying stages of the ritual, moving inexorably towards its culmination.

“Science describes the least of things. The least of what something is.

“Religion, magick… bows to the endless in everything. The mystery.”

This isn’t some Dr. Strange fancy-hand-gestures-with-spinning-CGI-sparklers-as-background magic, mind.

This is the exacting, torturous world of ritual magick we’ve stepped into, where tiny and seemingly innocuous signs are meant to be interpreted as supernatural portents of massive weight and undeniable gravity, manifestations of the divine (or the infernal).

A world where everything comes at a steep price.

And Gavin places us right in the middle of this occult crucible, compelled to watch as Sophia suffers the rite’s rigors, as she burns with the righteous flame of her personal desire.

“This is the price of our rage. Embrace it, don’t fear it. It’s you and it’s me.

“Poor us.”

(A Dark Song OS’ courtesy of comingsoon.net & screenanarchy.com.)

A Rundown of the 13 Best Horror Movies I've Seen in the Past Year
[4 of 13]
The Zombie Apocalypse Slot

SEOUL-YEOK

(SEOUL STATION)
(April 2016)

Yeon Sang-ho's animated prequel to Busanhaeng (Train to Busan) actually plays better than its live-action sequel, and that’s probably all down to the fact that it’s a more atypical zombie cinema viewing experience than Busanhaeng.

Why is that, you may ask?

To wit:

A: Animated zombies are far more uncommon than live-action ones.

B: Unlike Busanhaeng, we don’t really see your usual zombie cinema character types here.

C: The social commentary is far more satisfactorily evident, with some barbed rants against country and government. And the class divide is likewise more overt here.

It should be noted though that there are some rather cruel and vicious moments in this one, some moments having nothing at all to do with the zombies…

If that all still sounds like your cup of (zombie) tea, then take heed: ¡Qué horror! strongly approves Seoul-yeok!

THE GIRL WITH ALL THE GIFTS

(August 2016)

Now here's a zombie film that very consciously takes some relatively unfamiliar routes in its narrative, and that kind of zombie film is definitely worthy of some ¡Qué horror! love.

Mike Carey--yes, that Mike Carey--adapts his own novel, The Girl with All the Gifts, and helps (heh) gift us with a title that should settle in nicely in the annals of zombie cinema.

Now, in lieu of getting all spoiler-y, let’s take a look at some of the film’s other personnel:

Director Colm McCarthy first landed in ¡Qué horror! territory in the 2011 rundown, with his feature debut, Outcast. Now he’s back with his sophomore feature.

(He’s apparently been keeping busy on the telly front. And speaking of, he’s set to direct the Krypton Pilot for SyFy--yes, that Krypton--so that should be something!)

Composer Cristobal Tapia de Veer, who positively killed on the score for the late and very much lamented Utopia, slays once again here.

(He also worked on the first series of Humans, though sadly, he didn’t score the second.)

And that cast!

Not only do we have Paddy Considine and Gemma Arterton, we’ve also got Glenn Close!

Glenn! Close!

And the feature debut of Sennia Nanua isn’t too shabby neither!

So, if you feel like supporting atypical zombie fare (and you really really should!), then by all means, pay The Girl with All the Gifts a visit!

Parting Shot:

While Carey is possibly better known in the comics world for his work on Lucifer or Hellblazer, as far as I’m concerned, his magnum opus in graphic literature is definitely The Unwritten.

(Seoul Station UK quad courtesy of impawards.com & The Girl with All the Gifts UK quad courtesy of bloody-disgusting.com; novel blurb OS courtesy of orbitbooks.net.)

A Rundown of the 13 Best Horror Movies I've Seen in the Past Year
[3 of 13]

JACK GOES HOME

(March 2016)

"I always thought this house was haunted.”

"Really? Why?”
"I don’t know. Ever since we were kids, it just felt like there was some dark vagina just hovering over this place, waiting to swallow me up.”

“Maybe it was just your latent homosexuality talking, hmmm?”

“Shut up. I’m being serious. I’ve always been scared here, dude.”

For much of its initial section of running time, Thomas Dekker’s Jack Goes Home plays more like a dysfunctional domestic drama than anything else, as the titular Jack Thurlow (Rory Culkin) receives some tragic news that precipitates his--as the film’s title indicates--return to his family home.

But, since this is ¡Qué horror! territory, it’s a safe bet that that’s not what the film is ultimately about.

Or, put another way, maybe it is a dysfunctional domestic drama, but in a really terrible, horror movie way, as we slowly witness Jack uncover some dark family secrets, while gradually questioning his sanity…

Dekker (who also wrote the screenplay, and is perhaps best known as the TV John Connor) ropes in some noteworthy genre names here, including Daveigh Chase, Natasha Lyonne (who appears in a brief, single scene), and Britt Robertson (who’d worked with Dekker previously on the short-lived The Secret Circle).

But the genre coup here is, without a doubt, Lin Shaye, who appears as Jack’s mother, Teresa.

And, oddly enough, while Dekker is also credited as one of the film’s producers, who do we see credited as an Executive Producer but Uwe Boll (!).

Parting Shot:

I honestly did not recognize Daveigh Chase here, until the end credits rolled…

So, yeah, Samantha Darko (Sparkle Motion, go!!!) and Samara, in the house!

And speaking of, 15^th anniversary of Donnie Darko! Huzzah!

(Jack Goes Home OS courtesy of bloody-disgusting.com.)

A Rundown of the 13 Best Horror Movies I've Seen in the Past Year
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DON'T BREATHE

(March 2016)

"There's nothing a man cannot do once he accepts the fact that there is no God.”

After teaming up with Sam Raimi’s Ghost House Pictures on the Evil Dead remake, Fede Alvarez again works under Raimi’s auspices on the taut and twisted little motherf*cker known as Don’t Breathe.

Written by Alvarez and his Evil Dead co-writer Rodo Sayagues, and co-opting both the star (Jane Levy) and composer (Roque Baños) of same, Don’t Breathe is the vicious tale of three young thieves who pick the wroooong house to break into.

Alvarez displays masterful control of tension and space/setting here, taking along familiar genre faces like Dylan Minnette and Stephen Lang along for the ride.

(Don’t Breathe OS’ courtesy of twitter.com & impawards.com.)

A Rundown of the 13 Best Horror Movies I've Seen in the Past Year
[1 of 13]

THE DEVIL'S CANDY

(September 2015)

"We've come to the place where we joke about the idea of the Devil. With the horns and the tail and all that. But that is Satan’s Lie. To distract us from the reality of who He is.”

Writer/director Sean Byrne was last ‘round these parts when his feature debut, The Loved Ones, nabbed the Aussie Horror Runner-Up slot on the ¡Qué horror! 2011 rundown.

He’s back (and no longer a blood-spattered bridesmaid!), with his brutally metal follow-up, The Devil’s Candy.

Here, Byrne takes the “a family’s hopes for a new life are shattered when they encounter the darkness that comes along with the new house they just bought” set-up and serves up a disturbing look at a world where evil is insidiously ubiquitous, where a prominent art gallery is called Belial (as in “Now that you’re being represented by Belial, it’s time for you to start getting used to nice things.”) and has an employee named Mara (as per the Buddhist demon).

Byrne gathers an interestingly effective cast here, which includes Shiri Appleby (who’s come a long way from Roswell’s Liz), Ethan Embry (who’s come an even longer way from Empire Records’ lovable goofus Mark), and the creeptastic Pruitt Taylor Vince.

There are also brief, but memorable appearances by Leland Orser (whose Father David Gideon lays on the film’s central thesis via a “Thought for the Day”) and Tony Amendola (taking a break from playing Once Upon a Time’s Geppetto to embody Leonard of Belial).

So, yeah, let’s all raise those horns and savor The Devil’s Candy, as Sean Byrne continues to show us just how wickedly serious he is about his horror…

“I have to feed Him children… ‘cause children are His candy.”

(The Devil’s Candy OS’ courtesy of bloody-disgusting.com.)

¡QUÉ HORROR! 2017

The Preliminaries

"It is happening again."
The time of year for another ¡Qué horror! rundown.

Before we get to the main list, a number of titles (film and television) that, for one reason or another, did not quite cross the line into “horror,” but were nonetheless noteworthy pieces that I felt needed to be acknowledged here.

SPLIT

(September 2016)

“Rejoice!

“The broken are the more evolved.

“Rejoice.”

This one straddled the thriller/horror line, and was ultimately a slam bang run-up to the already on-its-way Glass.

(Though don’t get me started on how this, coupled with Unbreakable, seems to point to Shyamalan echoing Grant Morrison’s Doom Patrol run just a bit too closely.)

BATES MOTEL

(February 2017)

While Bates Motel’s final season initially seemed to indicate that it was finally going to crack into the main rundown, at long last firmly crossing the thriller/horror line, shortly after the sly and gutsy inversion of episode 6, “Marion,” the show settled into tragic, dysfunctional family drama mode.

Don’t get me wrong. I loved this final season (which is why it’s getting a mention here), but, once again and for the final time, Bates Motel stared knowingly at the thriller/horror line, and pointedly declined to cross it.

TWIN PEAKS: THE RETURN

(May 2017)

Now this was something I’d never really imagined happening, but I’m so, so glad it did.

And, as with most of David Lynch’s oeuvre, while there are streaks and dollops of horror running through it, it’s a piece that really can’t be classified as “horror” (and I’m almost certain Mr. Lynch wouldn’t think of it as that, either).

And just as he did on Twin Peaks’ original ABC run, Lynch not only pushes the television envelope here, he tears it to shreds.

The a tad over 40 minute journey we take in episode 8, in which we meet the “Woodsman” (AKA Mr. “Got-a-Light?”) is the most harrowing 40 minutes of television I have ever seen.

After over a quarter of a century, Twin Peaks still remains the Best Television Show I have been blessed to have experienced, and The Return is a blistering and thoroughly welcome third season addition to it.

Oh, and good on the Roadhouse, for upping their game with the musicians they’ve invited onto their stage…

“… I don’t even know what to call it… this piece of art or… ‘cause I feel like calling it a television show… it aired on television, but it doesn’t feel like a television show for all the best possible reasons…”

--Damon Lindelof, on Twin Peaks: The Return

(Split & Twin Peaks: The Return OS’ courtesy of bloody-disguting.com; Bates Motel OS courtesy of impawards.com.)