LOST
Season 4 Episodes 13 & 14
“There’s No Place Like Home” (Parts Two and Three)
Written by Damon Lindelof & Carlton Cuse
Directed by Jack Bender
(WARNING: SPOILERS)

Given the density of events (and resultant chaotic emotions left in those events’ wakes) in this season’s 2-hour finale, I opted to break this into 2 parts, if only to make it a more manageable read.

[2 of 2]


Meanwhile, back at the Orchid, with Keamy now good and croaked, Ben triggers the Vault, which has its own minor ka-blooey moment.
Ben then puts on that fleece-lined parka we saw him in in the Sahara (quadruple hmmmm…) and tells Locke to go back to the Others and to lead them.
In another brilliant moment that made me actually care for poor, manipulative Ben, it turns out that Jacob told Locke to move the Island, but not how, because he wanted Ben to do the dirty work, because it seems that whosoever moves the Island, can’t ever come back to it.
Ever. (Or so poor, manipulative Ben claims.)


So Locke leaves, and we see him later on being welcomed by Richard and the Others.
Jacob’s b!tch, Ben, on the other hand, goes through the ruptured Vault into some sort of frozen rocky area, where there’s a large wheel (the Frozen Donkey Wheel, I assume), which he then struggles to turn.
And here, Ben, the disgraced and out-of-favour son, looks broken and he’s actually crying, even as he turns the wheel…


… and there’s a sound in the air…

… and there’s a light in the sky…


… and even as the people on the helicopter watch (Frank intending to land on the Island again before the fuel runs out)…


… and even as Ju-Ju and Sawyer on the Beach watch…


… and even as Idiot Zodiac Daniel and his second group of sock puppets watch…


… and even as the Others and their newly anointed leader, Locke, watch…


… the…


… Island…


… disappears…


It’s just gone, and apparently, so is the other smaller island where Jack, Kate, and Sawyer were imprisoned in the first part of Season 3.
So, without any Island to land on, the helicopter finally runs out of fuel, and goes ker-plash.
All the Oceanic Six survive, of course, as does Frank, and there’s a moment or two when they make it look like Des took too much seawater in the lungs, but Doc Obsesso does mouth-to-mouth, and Des sputters, coughs up salt water, and keeps on breathing. (Unlike poor Charlie, Des, who you sent down to a watery grave on the strength of a vision involving, oh, what was it again? Oh yeah! Claire and Aaron. On a helicopter!!!)


So the Oceanic Six plus two are floating on the helicopter’s life raft, when they spot a ship out in the night, and even as they’re shouting for it, I have a nasty flashback to Season One’s finale, and Mr. Friendly asking for Walt…
Jack though, is more concerned about something else, so he tells the others about the Great Lie.
Well, not the details, not yet, but rather, that they just have to lie, about everything, to keep those they left behind safe, from whoever sent that freighter.
But when the Searcher comes close enough, it turns out to be… Penny’s boat!
So Des and Penny get their happy, happy moment, and yes, I am moved by it, but I must ask, Where’s Claire’s semi-happy moment? Damn you, Desmond! Damn you, Lindelof and Cuse!


So the next week is spent off-screen, hatching the details of the Great Lie, and even as the Oceanic Six gather to get on a raft and make it to Membata, it looks like Sun’s still in deep, deep shock.
Frank stays on board the Searcher, of course, as does Des, who says he’ll be okay, so long as he’s with Penny. (What about Claaaaiiire?!?)
And the Oceanic Six make it to Membata…

Now, let’s spin our own Frozen Donkey Wheel, and check out those flashforwards…


Kate has a dream where she sees Claire in Aaron’s room, and Claire tells Kate not to bring Aaron back (to the Island, I believe we can safely assume).
And I think, Oh great, Claire’s really dead, isn’t she? (Damn you, Desmond!)
If she is dead though, why is her ghost (for lack of a better term) telling Kate not to bring Aaron back to the Island, when, normally, the “ghosts” exist to do the Island’s bidding, and as we’ll find out later, everyone has to go back to the Island?


Hurley gets a visit at the loonybin, from… Walt!!!
Walt, who, all growed-up now, tells Hurley he was paid a visit by “Jeremy Bentham,” the fellow in that Season 3 finale coffin.
Walt, who asks Hurley why are they lying about what happened, and Hurley answers, To keep the people we left behind safe.
Like my Dad, poor, hideously naïve Walt asks.
Yeah, Hurley lies, like your Dad…


Hurley then later gets another visit, from… Sayid, a.k.a. Ben’s Crying Freeman.
Sayid tells Hurley about Bentham’s “suicide,” and that he’s breaking Hurley out of the loonybin, to take him someplace safe.
Hurley makes certain, You’re not taking me back there, are you?
No, I’m not, Crying Freeman lies.
And Sayid’s arrival breaks up a chess game Hurley’s apparently having with an unseen Mr. Eko…


And in a shocking flashforward, Sun is in London, and has a chat with… Da Widmore!
From the conversation, it’s clear that Sun’s corporate take-over has successfully placed her in charge.
It also becomes apparent (or so they’re making us think), that Sun is willing to help Da W. find the Island again. (Is this truly Dark Sun, or is she playing along with Ben’s puppetry, to take down the other man she feels is responsible for Jin’s death? But who does Sun hold ultimately responsible, along with her father? Da W.? Or Ben? Or (gasp!) Jack?


And in another shocking flashforward, and a return to that night that began in Season 3’s finale and continued in this finale’s opening moments, Jack returns to that damned anagrammatical funeral parlour. He breaks in, and stands before the closed casket of “Jeremy Bentham.”
But who should also arrive to pay his respects, but… Ben! (Effectively taking him off the Casket Candidate List… Oh. No.)
It turns out that “Bentham” (Oh. No.) not only visited Walt, he also contacted Jack and Kate, and apparently told Jack that after they left the Island, bad, bad things happened, and that they happened because Jack and the others were never meant to leave, and thus, the bad, bad things were all Jack’s fault.
“Bentham” (Oh. No.) was trying to convince them that they all had to go back to the Island, and Ben agrees. And of course, at this point, so does Beardo Jack. Ben’s even aware of Jack’s scarily pathetic flights on Oceanic, just hoping for another crash.
Ben points out though, this is only going to work if you all go back.
Jack then says (oh the poor, depressed, guilt-ridden guy), Hurley’s nuts, and Sun blames me for Jin’s death, and I don’t know where Sayid is, and Kate won’t even talk to me…
Ben then says, I think I can help you with that.
Then, in a morbid turn that ranks right up there with Locke carrying his dead conman da’s body on his back, Ben says, You all have to go back, even him, and we all then get to see the man in the casket, and it’s (Oh. No.) John Locke…

COUNTDOWN: 34.

Parting shot: So the Season 4 2-hour finale originally aired May 29, and I had had this post written and ready a few days afterwards.
It’s suddenly late-November and Season 5 is less than two months away, and only now do I actually get this recap on the Iguana.
Which just goes to prove it isn’t only on the Island where time goes all wonky…

(Lost OS courtesy of impawards.com.)

LOST
Season 4 Episodes 13 & 14
“There’s No Place Like Home” (Parts Two and Three)
Written by Damon Lindelof & Carlton Cuse
Directed by Jack Bender
(WARNING: SPOILERS)

Given the density of events (and resultant chaotic emotions left in those events’ wakes) in this season’s 2-hour finale, I opted to break this into 2 parts, if only to make it a more manageable read.

[1 of 2]

Okay. So the “Frozen Donkey Wheel” has been revealed to the world, and we now know who emerged on the top of the Casket Candidate List (my top three: Michael, Ben, or Locke).
Given the density of events in this season’s 2-hour finale, you’ll perhaps understand if I may inadvertently leave some bit or other out.
Hopefully though, senility won’t get too much of an upper hand…
Into the breach then…


Wondrously, majestically, that spectacular final moment from last season’s finale, comes all the way around the past dozen episodes, and segues into the opening moments of this season’s finale, as Kate actually stops the car in response to Beardo Jack’s plea of returning to the Island.
They have another heart-wrenching conversation, which firmly establishes that it’s been three years since they got off the Island, and that, no way is Kate ever going back there.
Ever.

Now, I’ll have to break protocol and leave off from the flashforward for the moment, and take on the Island goings-on first.

Zodiac Daniel returns to the Beach for the second group to be ferried to the Kahana, and he tells Miles and Charlotte that they should both be on the Zodiac when this trip leaves.
Miles though, opts to stay on the Island (hmmmm…), and is actually surprised that Charlotte seems to be willing to leave the Island as well, considering how hard she’s worked to “get back here” (double hmmmm…).
True enough, when Daniel asks Charlotte again, she says she’s staying, and says something about not yet having found the place where she was born (triple hmmmm…).
So Daniel reluctantly leaves Charlotte, and when Juliet says she’s staying too, since she promised she wouldn’t leave till everyone was safe (did she? I can’t recall that… Go, Ju-Ju! Go!! Can’t you see that look Daniel has? And Daniel, you moron! Tell her!!! Graaarrr!!!!)
So Idiot Zodiac Daniel zooms off…


Meanwhile, Richard and the Others finding Kate and Sayid last episode turns out to be a gambit to rescue Ben.
Even as Keamy is bringing Ben back to the helicopter, where they find Frank still trying to break out of the handcuffs, Kate runs into the clearing, supposedly escaping the Others’ clutches.
The mercenaries fan out into the jungle, but it’s a trap, of course, and they’re picked off one by one, as Kate and Ben scamper off into the jungle, Keamy in hot pursuit. Keamy’s then tackled by Sayid, and a brutal tussle kicks in. It looks like Keamy’s gonna break Sayid’s neck, when Keamy’s shot in the back (by Richard, if I recall correctly).
He’s apparently dead. (Riiiiiighhhht.)
Ben asks what the arrangement was, and Richard says, They help us, and we let them get off the Island.
Ben says, Fair enough. Take the helicopter.


Meanwhile, Jack and Sawyer find Hurley (relieving himself, if I’m not mistaken).
Locke (who can’t find the damned flower Ben mentioned) then attempts to draw Jack into a conversation, to try and convince him that he’s not supposed to leave the Island.
Doc Obsesso doesn’t listen, of course.
Locke, seeing that he can’t change Jack’s mind, makes the plea for the Great Lie, so as to protect the Island. Doc Obsesso scoffs, It’s an island. It doesn’t need to be protected.
Locke says, It’s not an Island. It’s a place where miracles happen.
Naturally, Doc Obsesso claims there are no such things as miracles (despite having gotten his future ex-wife-to-be to walk again, when all indications pointed to the fact that he’d failed to help her)…
Jack is just leaving, when Ben returns. Ben then tells Jack about Kate and Sayid being at the helicopter, and that he should leave if he still intends to.
Jack watches as Ben and Locke get into an elevator and descend into the real Orchid Station.


Jack, Sawyer, and Hurley reach the helicopter, and even as they’re all getting aboard, I’m thinking, So what’s gonna happen to Sawyer (since he isn’t part of the Oceanic Six)?!
And when Hurley asks Jack if they’re coming back to look for Claire, and Jack says, Sure, I’m also thinking, Damn you, Desmond! Where’s your Claire and Aaron getting on a helicopter flash?! Damn you, Lindelof and Cuse! Where’s that flaaaassssshhhh?!?
The answer to the Sawyer question comes soon enough though, as it appears a bullet hit the helicopter and they’re leaking fuel, so if they don’t land soon, they go ker-splash.
Needing to lighten the load, so they can get to the freighter faster, everything that isn’t bolted down gets tossed into the ocean, including… Sawyer!
Actually, when Frank says he’ll be happier if they lose another 200 pounds, there’s a sad shot of Hurley (who’s probably having a traumatic flashback to the whole “dock collapse-due-to-my-weight” thing), before Sawyer whispers something in Kate’s ear (presumably the favour she attends to later on, presumably involving Cassidy and Sawyer’s daughter), liplocks with Kate (which Jack sees with his own Obsesso eyes), then jumps out of the helicopter!
Jack promises they’ll send the helicopter back to look for Sawyer once they’re safely on the freighter. (Riiiiiighhhht.)


Meanwhile, back on the freighter, where it’s supposed to be safe (damn you, Lindelof and Cuse!), Des, Michael, and Jin try and figure out how to stop the C4 from going ka-blooey.
Even as Des (who had some six months’ experience with explosives during his military stint) determines that the C4 will go ka-blooey when some device or other receives a radio signal, Michael figures they can freeze the battery with liquid nitrogen to prevent—or at the very least, slow—the chemical reaction that will trigger the ka-blooey-ness.
(Guessing though that that thingy on Keamy’s arm is what’s supposed to trigger the ka-blooey-ness, why hasn’t the freighter blown sky high yet? Because Sun and Aaron are still on it! Which also means that Keamy’s still alive, despite those bullets to the back…)


And, true enough, who should take the down elevator to the Orchid, but Keamy and his body armor!
But first, Locke is shown the initial portion of the Orchid Orientation video, which seems to indicate that, as Ben succinctly puts it, “time-traveling bunnies” are indeed possible! (Thus, we have confirmation that there is actual physical time-traveling going on in the Lost-verse.)
According to the video, “The Vault” (built adjacent to a “pocket of negatively-charged exotic matter,” where the subject meant to do the time-traveling is to be placed) is also supposed to be kept clear of any metallic objects, but even as Locke is learning this, Ben the Busy Bug-Eyed Bee is placing everything metallic that he can find in the station, into the Vault!
Which is when Keamy arrives.
There’s a conversation, and a scuffle, and when Keamy unwisely goads Ben about Alex’s death, Ben goes postal and stabs the baddie… despite Keamy already having explained about the dead man’s trigger on his arm, and the freighter’s instant ka-blooey-ness, should his heart stop beating.
Locke tries to save the schmuck’s life (so as to prevent the freighter instantly going ka-blooey), but he fails…

… Keamy croaks…


… and back at the Kahana, the light goes red, giving them all about 5 minutes to get off it before the impending ka-blooey.
So Michael valiantly stays to continue freezing the battery to slow the chemical reaction. He tells Des and Jin to go, though Jin stays by Michael’s side.
Even as Des gets to the upper deck, the helicopter comes in, needing to land badly, to refuel.
In the few short minutes of the helicopter actually being on the freighter’s deck, they do their best to plug the bullet hole, pump as much fuel in as they can, and scramble back on board the helicopter.
Below deck, Michael runs out of insta-freeze, and tells Jin, Go, you’re a father now. Take care of your wife and baby, so Jin takes off for the upper deck.
Meanwhile, Sun wants to go below deck to get Jin, but Kate tells her, I’ll go, you take Aaron to the helicopter.
But Jack grabs Kate and says, I’m not leaving without you, and drags her back to the helicopter.
Frank takes off, the Oceanic Six and Des on-board (and I’m thinking, Oh no, what happens to Des?), even as Jin makes it onto the deck, and Sun’s screaming to go back for Jin, and Christian appears to Michael and dismisses him (“You can go now, Michael”), and the Kahana goes ka-blooey.
And poor Sun just keeps on screaming, till Jack tells her, He’s gone, and I’m thinking, Oh no, Sun’ll never forgive him…


So the freighter goes ka-blooey, taking Michael with it (he was right next to the C4, right? This also effectively takes him off the Casket Candidate List…), along with all the poor sock puppets ferried there to their doom by Idiot Zodiac Daniel.
As for Jin, he could have conceivably been blown off the freighter by the explosion, or am I being hideously naïve here?

Back on the beach, Sawyer rises from the sea, shirtless now (and a host of female Lost fans shriek with mad glee), to find Ju-Ju getting sloshed on Dharma rum.
So what are we celebrating? he asks.
I’m not celebrating, Ju-Ju replies, pointing to the column of smoke out at sea.
Our boat? Sawyer asks.
It was, says poor, poor Ju-Ju, who has, yet again missed her chance to get off the Island…

COUNTDOWN: 35.

(Lost OS courtesy of impawards.com.)

LOST
Season 4 Episode 12
“There’s No Place Like Home” (Part One)
Written by Damon Lindelof & Carlton Cuse
Directed by Stephen Williams
(WARNING: SPOILERS)


Frakkin’ Admiral Cain works for Oceanic!

Sorry.

Okay, flashforward.
We see the Oceanic Six get presented to the press for the first time, and hear the official cover-up story, as delivered by Karen Decker (Michelle Forbes, a.k.a. Battlestar Galactica’s Admiral Psycho-B!tch Cain).
We then track the Six as they re-assimilate into society.

Nadia makes her way to the press conference, and is reunited with Sayid. (Of course, we all know how that’s gonna end…)


Using the “very significant” settlement paid her by Oceanic, Sun purchases a controlling interest in her father’s company, and in a fantastic scene, she confronts her evil da, and says, You’re the reason why we were on that plane. Two people are responsible for my husband’s death, and you are one of them.
She goes on to say, I will have my baby, and then we will discuss what is to become of our company. (Sun’s really scary when you cross her…)


Hugo is given a surprise birthday party, with most of the Oceanic Six in attendance (Jack is running late). His pops gives him his birthday gift: the Firebird, which has finally been completed.
As a kind of memorial, Hugo’s da rebuilt it when he’d thought Hugo was gone. Now, it’s Hugo’s. But when he gets in, he sees the speedometer and odometer (is that right?) and they are, naturally, turned to the cursed numbers.
So Hugo loses it and runs off, down the street…

At the memorial for Christian, who should show up, but Claire’s mum, and she tells Jack all.
Your father was in Sydney to see his daughter, who also happened to be on the plane you were on, and her name was Claire…. We can see just how this slams into poor Jack, and the woman, totally oblivious, passes Kate as she leaves the church, and says, You have a beautiful son…


Now, back to the Island, where things get FUBAR right quick, as we careen towards the two-hour season finale.

Much to Juliet’s agony, Jack runs off into the jungle with Kate, to track the NaomiPhone’s signal, which will lead them to the helicopter.
They run into Sawyer, Miles, and Aaron. Jack keeps on going, while Kate is stuck with Aaron, so Sawyer accompanies Jack.
They eventually find the helicopter, and find Frank handcuffed to it. Frank tells them as soon as he’s free, he can fly them to safety, and they should do it before Keamy and his goons get back.
Frank says they’re here for Ben, and they won’t be very nice to anyone else they find with him. Sawyer says, Hugo’s with Ben.
Naturally, Jack and Sawyer go off to rescue Hugo…


By the time Sayid gets the Zodiac to the beach, Kate’s arrived. Kate and Sayid decide to go after Jack, while Daniel volunteers to start ferrying people to the freighter. On the first trip, Sun, Jin, and Aaron.
When Sun and Jin get to the freighter, they see Michael, and understandably, aren’t terribly thrilled to see him.
Michael also gets to fix the engines, but Des finds that there’s a whole lotta C4 on the boat…
Meanwhile, Kate and Sayid follow Jack’s tracks, but end up being taken by Richard and the Others…

Ben, Locke, and Hugo, on the other hand, under orders to “move the Island,” head for the Orchid Station, where Keamy and his goons are already by the time they arrive.
Ben gives Locke very specific instructions to get to the elevator that will bring him down to the real Orchid Station, while Ben, to keep Keamy and his goons distracted, gives himself up to Widmore’s troops…


Well, there we are, and just two hours away from season’s end.
It is, of course, a poignant moment, seeing the Oceanic Six initially reunited with their respective families, made all the more bittersweet since Kate has no one to greet her, as does Sayid (Nadia shows up afterwards), though Hugo does intro Sayid to his parents.


The subsequent Oceanic Six off-Island bits are also an emotional minefield (we know how Sayid’s reunion with Nadia will end; we see Sun the Terrible; and we see the beginning of the decline, for both Hugo and Jack), serving as counterpoint to the Island present bits, which—in keeping with past season wrap-ups—is very much focused on narrative propulsion, of getting to the finale with as much momentum as humanly possible.

COUNTDOWN: 36.

(Images courtesy of ABC, ew.com, and variety.com.)