AFTERTHOUGHTS (104)
SCREAM, BABY, SCREAM 2008 (2)

And the noteworthy winners at this year’s Scream Awards are…


The Dark Knight
The Ultimate Scream
Best Sequel
Best Comic Book Movie
Best Director (Christopher Nolan)
Best Screamplay (Christopher Nolan, Jonathan Nolan, & David S. Goyer)
Best Superhero (Christian Bale as Batman)
Best Villain (Heath Ledger as The Joker)
Best Actor in a Fantasy Movie or TV Show (Heath Ledger)
Best Supporting Performance (Gary Oldman)
The Holy Sh!t Scene of the Year (The Big Rig Flips Over)
Best F/X
Best Line (“I believe whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stranger.”: The Joker)


Dexter
Best TV Show


Hellboy II: The Golden Army
Best Fantasy Movie


Iron Man
Best Science Fiction Movie
Best Actor in a Science Fiction Movie or TV Show (Robert Downey, Jr.)


The Strangers
Best Actress in a Horror Movie or TV Show (Liv Tyler)


Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
Best Horror Movie
Best Actor in a Horror Movie or TV Show (Johnny Depp)


Teeth
Most Memorable Mutilation (Bitten By Vagina With Teeth)


Wanted
Best Actress in a Fantasy Movie or TV Show (Angelina Jolie)

Rob Zombie’s Halloween was also pronounced Best Remake.
Congratulations, one and all. (All the winners can be accessed from here.)
Reviews of all the above films (as well as episodic recaps of Dexter) can be found in the Archive.

Parting shot: Congratulations must also go out to His Scottish Brilliance, Grant Morrison, for taking home Best Comic Book Writer, and to Gabriel Ba, for scooping up Best Comic Book Artist for his work on The Umbrella Academy: Apocalypse Suite.

(Images courtesy of aintitcool.com, empireonline.com, impawards.com, and rickbrotherton.com.)

A Rundown of the 13 Best, Most Recent Horror Movies I’ve Seen
[4 of 13]
TEETH (January 2007)


[Teeth is] a dark feminist fable for our times, a terribly effective cautionary tale of sexual awakening, and the mysterious and potent strength hidden in the core of the female species.

Read the entire review here.

(Teeth UK quad courtesy of empireonline.com.)

AFTERTHOUGHTS (103)
SCREAM, BABY, SCREAM 2008

The nominees for this year’s Scream Awards have just been announced, and those that have got me jazzed are:


30 Days of Night
Best Horror Movie
Best Comic Book Movie


Battlestar Galactica
Best TV Show
Best Actor in a Science Fiction Movie or TV Show (Edward James Olmos)
Best Actress in a Science Fiction Movie or TV Show (Tricia Helfer)
Best Scream To Comic Adaptation


Cloverfield
The Ultimate Scream
Best Science Fiction Movie
Best Screamplay (Drew Goddard)
Best Actress in a Science Fiction Movie or TV Show (Odette Yustman)
Breakout Performance (Jessica Lucas)
Breakout Performance (T.J. Miller)
Breakout Performance (Odette Yustman)
The Holy Sh!t Scene of the Year (The Statue of Liberty/Empire State Building Attack)
Best F/X


The Dark Knight
The Ultimate Scream
Best Fantasy Movie
Best Sequel
Best Comic Book Movie
Best Director (Christopher Nolan)
Best Screamplay (Christopher Nolan, Jonathan Nolan, & David S. Goyer)
Best Superhero (Christian Bale as Batman)
Best Villain (Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent/Two-Face)
Best Villain (Heath Ledger as The Joker)
Best Actor in a Fantasy Movie or TV Show (Christian Bale)
Best Actor in a Fantasy Movie or TV Show (Heath Ledger)
Best Actress in a Fantasy Movie or TV Show (Maggie Gyllenhaal)
Best Supporting Performance (Michael Caine)
Best Supporting Performance (Gary Oldman)
The Holy Sh!t Scene of the Year (The Batmobile/Batpod Chase)
The Holy Sh!t Scene of the Year (The Big Rig Flips Over)
Most Memorable Mutilation (The Pencil Trick)
Best F/X
Best Line (“I believe whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stranger.”: The Joker)
Best Line (“I will now make this pencil disappear.”: The Joker)
Best Line (“Why so serious?”: The Joker)


Dexter
Best TV Show
Best Actor in a Horror Movie or TV Show (Michael C. Hall)
Best Actress in a Horror Movie or TV Show (Julie Benz)


Funny Games US
Best Remake
Best Actress in a Horror Movie or TV Show (Naomi Watts)


Hancock
Best Fantasy Movie
Best Superhero (Will Smith as John Hancock)
Best Actress in a Fantasy Movie or TV Show (Charlize Theron)
Best Supporting Performance (Jason Bateman)


Hellboy II: The Golden Army
The Ultimate Scream
Best Fantasy Movie
Best Sequel
Best Director (Guillermo del Toro)
Best Superhero (Ron Perlman as Hellboy)
Best Actor in a Fantasy Movie or TV Show (Ron Perlman)
Best Actress in a Fantasy Movie or TV Show (Selma Blair)
Best Supporting Performance (Doug Jones)
Breakout Performance (Anna Walton)
Most Memorable Mutilation (Attacked By The Flesh-Eating Tooth Fairies)
Best F/X
Best Line (“I’m not a baby… I’m a tumor.”: The Tumor)


Heroes
Best TV Show
Best Superhero (Masi Oka as Hiro Nakamura)
Best Villain (Zachary Quinto as Sylar)
Best Actress in a Fantasy Movie or TV Show (Hayden Panettiere)


Iron Man
The Ultimate Scream
Best Science Fiction Movie
Best Comic Book Movie
Best Director (Jon Favreau)
Best Screamplay (Mark Fergus, Hawk Ostby, Arthur Marcum, & Matthew Hollaway)
Best Superhero (Robert Downey, Jr. as Iron Man)
Best Villain (Jeff Bridges as Obadiah Stane)
Best Actor in a Science Fiction Movie or TV Show (Robert Downey, Jr.)
Best Actress in a Science Fiction Movie or TV Show (Gwyneth Paltrow)
Best Supporting Performance (Terrence Howard)
The Holy Sh!t Scene of the Year (Escape From Ten Rings Hideout)
The Holy Sh!t Scene of the Year (Iron Man’s First Flight)
Best F/X
Best Line (“I am Iron Man!”: Tony Stark)


Lost
The Ultimate Scream
Best TV Show
Best Actor in a Fantasy Movie or TV Show (Terry O’Quinn)


The Mist
The Ultimate Scream
Best Horror Movie
Best Director (Frank Darabont)
Best Screamplay (Frank Darabont)
Best Actor in a Horror Movie or TV Show (Thomas Jane)


El Orfanato (The Orphanage)
Best Horror Movie
Best Screamplay (Sergio G. Sanchez)
Best Actor in a Horror Movie or TV Show (Fernando Cayo)
Best Actress in a Horror Movie or TV Show (Belen Rueda)


Pushing Daisies
Breakout Performance (Anna Friel)


The Ruins
Best Horror Movie
Best Actor in a Horror Movie or TV Show (Jonathan Tucker)
Best Actress in a Horror Movie or TV Show (Jena Malone)
Most Memorable Mutilation (The Leg Amputation)


Saw IV
Best Sequel
Best Villain (Tobin Bell as Jigsaw)
Most Memorable Mutilation (The Autopsy)


Southland Tales
Best Science Fiction Movie
Best Actor in a Science Fiction Movie or TV Show (Dwayne Johnson)


The Strangers
Best Horror Movie
Best Actress in a Horror Movie or TV Show (Liv Tyler)


Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
Best Horror Movie
Best Director (Tim Burton)
Best Actor in a Horror Movie or TV Show (Johnny Depp)
Best Actress in a Horror Movie or TV Show (Helena Bonham Carter)
Best Villain (Alan Rickman as Judge Turpin)


Teeth
Most Memorable Mutilation (Bitten By Vagina With Teeth)


Wanted
Best Fantasy Movie
Best Comic Book Movie
Best Actor in a Fantasy Movie or TV Show (James McAvoy)
Best Actress in a Fantasy Movie or TV Show (Angelina Jolie)
The Holy Sh!t Scene of the Year (The Reverse Kill Shot)
Best F/X

Congratulations, one and all.
Reviews of all the above films and television shows can be found in the Archive.

Other nominated films also reviewed here at the Iguana are:
Beowulf (Best Fantasy Movie; Best F/X);
The Eye (Best Remake);
Halloween (Best Remake; Best Director [Rob Zombie]);
I Am Legend (Best Science Fiction Movie; Best Actor in a Science Fiction Movie or TV Show [Will Smith]; Most Memorable Mutilation [Attacked By The Infected]);
The Incredible Hulk (Best Fantasy Movie; Best Comic Book Movie; Best Remake; Best Superhero [Edward Norton as The Hulk]; Best Actor in a Fantasy Movie or TV Show [Edward Norton]; Best Line [“Hulk Smash!”: The Hulk]); and
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (Best Science Fiction Movie; Best Sequel; Best Actor in a Science Fiction Movie or TV Show [Harrison Ford]; Best Supporting Performance [Shia LaBeouf]).

Among this year’s board (who advised on categories and determined nominees in each category) are: Wes Craven, Neil Gaiman, Tim Kring, Eli Roth, Guillermo del Toro, Kevin Smith, and Stephen King.
Beginning September 12 (Friday) through October 17, voting will be open at scream.spike.com.
The awards will take place on October 18, Saturday, at The Greek Theater in Los Angeles, CA, and will premiere on Spike TV on October 21, Tuesday (9:00-11:00 PM ET/PT).

(Images courtesy of aintitcool.com, bloody-disgusting.com, empireonline.com, impawards.com, rickbrotherton.com, scifi.com, shocktillyoudrop.com, spike.com, and yahoo.com.)

TEETH
(Review)

“No men were harmed in the making of this film.”
So claim the end credits for Mitchell Lichtenstein’s wildly original and wildly disturbing Teeth. And that may be true, as far as things go, but there’s no reassurance that the men in the audience won’t leave the theatre traumatized.


Dawn (The Big Bad Swim‘s Jess Weixler) is a high school student who is part of an organization called The Promise, which promotes abstinence amongst teens. Unpopular with a significant portion of the student population, Dawn nonetheless sticks to her firm belief that sex should be saved for marriage.
And despite her mother (Vivienne Benesch) being ill, and her stepbrother Brad (Nip/Tuck’s John Hensley) being a rebellious heavy metal fiend, Dawn copes rather admirably. Dawn’s world is fine, if not exactly brilliant.
Till new student Tobey (Hale Appleman) arrives and throws everything out of whack, forcing Dawn to wake up to the cold, cruel ways of the world.


Now, I don’t want to blurt out the central idea that drives Teeth. You may get a notion from the trailer, but it isn’t really actually named till about halfway through the film, so I’ll avoid mentioning it in this review.
I can say that Teeth is Rated R, and is more black comedy than actual horror movie. Having said that, I must say that there is horror in Teeth, particularly for the males in the audience, but it’s not the standard horror of your average scary movie.
The fact of the matter is, it’s not often you get to see a film as unique and audacious in its subject matter and sensibility as Teeth. I’ve read a couple of short stories that have dealt with the same idea, but it’s really only in Teeth where I’ve seen a satisfying treatment of it.
And a big reason why, is that Teeth has a rather good cast, who bring a humanity to the far-from-normal subject matter. Weixler, in particular, delivers a fantastic performance, effectively painting her character’s need to do the right thing, with the misery and frustration of her self-imposed abstinence, and later on, the bizarre circumstances of her predicament.


Since I myself am abstaining from springing Teeth’s central premise in this review, I guess I’ll just say that it’s a dark feminist fable for our times, a terribly effective cautionary tale of sexual awakening, and the mysterious and potent strength hidden in the core of the female species.
There’s a lot of strong imagery and symbolism in Teeth, and one sequence sticks out for me. It’s the scene in the classroom where they’re studying the human reproductive organs, which seems to suggest that in trying to see women for what they really are, men can’t help but destroy them in the process.
Like Fruit Chan’s Dumplings and Frank Oz’s The Stepford Wives remake, Teeth shows how far women are willing to go to exist and prosper in this patriarchal world, and like Quentin Tarantino’s Death Proof, it’s also a curious cinematic exercise in female empowerment.
It says, in very decisive terms, that it isn’t that women are dangerous, emasculating b!tches, but rather, that woman can be dangerous, emasculating b!tches, if we men are being total d!cks to them. (And sadly, nearly to a man, the male specimens in Teeth are complete noodges. Even Dawn’s father—played by Twin Peaks’ Lenny von Dohlen—ultimately proves to be an impotent force in his own household.)
Teeth also suggests that if we men continue to be total d!cks to women, then they could very well adapt to our misogynistic ways and teach us all a lesson we’ll never forget, by getting us right where it hurts…


Parting shot: Reviews of The Big Bad Swim, The Stepford Wives, and Death Proof can be found in the Archive.

(Teeth OS and images courtesy of bloody-disgusting.com; DVD cover art courtesy of amazon.com.)