¡QUÉ HORROR! 2019

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A number of titles that don't really register as “horror” (and thus would be out of place on the main ¡Qué horror! rundown), but titles that should nonetheless be of interest…

LAISSEZ BRONZER LES CADAVRES

(LET THE CORPSES TAN)

(August 2017)

Hélène Cattet and Bruno Forzani (familiar to these parts from ¡Qué horror! 2011 Auxiliary title Amer, and L’Étrange Couleur des Larmes de ton Corps, from the main ¡Qué horror! 2014 rundown) are back with Laissez bronzer les Cadavres (Let the Corpses Tan).

Think of it as a fragmentary, modern day French language spaghetti western, adapted from the novel by Jean-Patrick Manchette and Jean-Pierre Bastid.

Stylized genre-fueled cinema at its wildest…

THE WITCH IN THE WINDOW

(July 2018)

Andy Mitton, co-director/-writer of ¡Qué horror! 2011 title Yellowbrickroad, goes solo on The Witch in the Window.

Reuniting with Yellowbrickroad’s Alex Draper, Mitton brings us a film that, while having the threads of a horror film running through it, ultimately resolves into an emotionally resonant, hauntingly poignant tapestry that really isn’t a horror movie at all.

It’s quiet and deliberately paced, and to say anything more would tip potential viewers off, so I’ll need to leave it at that.

If you watched and appreciated Yellowbrickroad, then you really should check this one out, if only to see what Mitton is capable of without Jesse Holland’s collaboration.

(I really should get around to watching 2016’s We Go On, as well as their contribution to Chilling Visions: 5 Senses of Fear, “Listen”…)

LOVE, DEATH & ROBOTS

(March 2019)

Brought to us by Deadpool’s Tim Miller (credited as Creator, one of the Exec Producers, and director of one of the segments) and David Fincher (one of the other co-Exec Producers), Love, Death & Robots is adult animation by way of Netflix.

It’s 18 short films, largely (but not exclusively) science fiction, largely (but not exclusively) computer animated.

Of particular note from my perspective:

“The Witness” – written and directed by Alberto Mielgo;

“Good Hunting” – directed by Oliver Thomas, based on the short story by Ken Liu, adapted script by Philip Gelatt*;

“Fish Night” – directed by Damien Nenow, based on the short story by Joe R. Lansdale, adapted script by Philip Gelatt; [I’ve always loved this one, which opens the By Bizarre Hands collection]

“Zima Blue” – directed by Robert Valley, based on the short story by Alastair Reynolds, adapted script by Philip Gelatt; [this is the segment that got me sniffling…]

“Ice Age” – directed by Miller, based on the short story by Michael Swanwick, adapted script by Philip Gelatt; [Mary Elizabeth Winstead! Yay!]

and two of the segments adapted from John Scalzi short stories:

“Three Robots” and “Alternate Histories” – both directed by Victor Maldonado and Alfredo Torres, based on “Three Robots Experience Objects Left Behind From the Era of Humans for the First Time” and “Missives from Possible Futures #1: Alternate History Search Results,” adapted scripts by Philip Gelatt

Maldonado and Torres also co-directed the third segment based on a Scalzi short story (“When the Yogurt Took Over”), also surreally fun and funny, though I prefer the segments I noted above.

Lansdale’s “The Dump” is also adapted here, as is Reynolds’ “Beyond the Aquila Rift.”

(I’ve also always loved Reynolds’ “Digital to Analogue” from the In Dreams anthology. Edited by Paul J. McAuley and Kim Newman, In Dreams was billed as “A Celebration of the 7-Inch Single in All-Original SF and Horror Fiction.”)**

In case you want to check out some of the source material of Love, Death & Robots, some of the original short stories can be found online, like Lansdale's “Fish Night,” Scalzi’s “Missives from Possible Futures #1: Alternate History Search Results” and “When the Yogurt Took Over: A Short Story,” as well as Liu’s “Good Hunting.”

* Gelatt is no stranger to these parts, from ¡Qué horror! 2012 Candidate The Bleeding House and ¡Qué horror! 2018 title, They Remain.

If my count’s correct, Gelatt adapted 15 of the 16 segments based on other writers’ work.

** Incidentally, the 70th anniversary of the 7-inch single was March 15, the same day Netflix unleashed Love, Death & Robots.

(Laissez bronzer les Cadavres OS courtesy of screenanarchy.com; Let the Corpses Tan, The Witch in the Window, and Love, Death & Robots OS’ courtesy of impawards.com.)

MASTERS OF HORROR
Season 1 Episode 1
“Incident On and Off A Mountain Road”
Teleplay by Don Coscarelli and Stephen Romano; based on the short story by Joe R. Lansdale
Directed by Don Coscarelli

If there was one ‘70’s horror film that scared the beejeezus out of me, it was Don Coscarelli’s Phantasm. More than The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, more than The Hills Have Eyes, this was the movie that made me scared to shut my eyes at night (as well as stand in front of a mirror).
I imagine it must have been because in Phantasm, all the terror was happening in bedrooms and houses and funeral parlors, not out in the far-flung wilderness or the boondocks.
There was that shiny metal ball of death, the freaky dwarves, and of course, there was The Tall Man. Angus Scrimm scared the frak outta me.
So when I found out that the maiden voyage of Masters of Horror would be brought to my TV by Coscarelli and The Tall Man (based on a Lansdale short, to boot!), well, I was pretty psyched.
And truth be told, Scrimm is just about the best thing in “Incident”…

On the surface, “Incident” is about Ellen (Bree Turner), who encounters a mad, monstrous lunatic (you know the sort) on the titular mountain road. But as soon as the chase begins, we realize Ellen isn’t your usual female in peril. And even as the narrative seeks to subvert the tired slash and stalk formula, it also switches back and forth between the peril-fraught present, and Ellen’s past, as we see, a) how she came to be so resourceful in a pinch, and b) how she came to be on that mountain road.
Now, to be fair, “Incident” isn’t a complete loss.
The performances are effective, particularly Scrimm’s (as crazy old coot Buddy) and Ethan Embry’s.
Embry sticks out in my film geek brain as dopey stoner Mark in Empire Records, and just-graduated Preston Meyers, who moons after Jennifer Love Hewitt’s Golden Globes (and professes his love for her to the strains of Yazoo’s “Only You”) in Can’t Hardly Wait.
Embry’s turn as Bruce, Ellen’s survivalist hubby, pretty much negates all the nice guy goodwill Embry earned from his past film work…

Where “Incident” falters though, is in its pacing, which, forced to labour under the script’s structure, isn’t as taut as it should be.
Honestly, it only really came alive for me when Scrimm makes his entrance.
And though I do appreciate the ultimate cost of survival (suitably weighty, given the extreme circumstances), things don’t fall into place as neatly as I’d hoped.

As the first episode out of the gate, I wasn’t that crazy about “Incident,” though in retrospect, after seeing some of the season’s subsequent episodes, it actually stands as one of the better installments.
Though all that McGyvering traps in the dark while being chased by the crazy did seem a tad incredulous…

(Incident On and Off A Mountain Road DVD cover art courtesy of amazon.com.)