TRUE BLOOD
Season 1 Episode 4
“Escape From Dragon House”
Written by Brian Buckner
Directed by Michael Lehmann
(WARNING: SPOILERS)

This is gonna sound really bad, but with Dawn winding up dead, one of the things that popped into my head was: hey, we get to see more William Sanderson and Chris Bauer! And The Nine’s John Billingsley too, who debuted a couple of episodes back as the local coroner, Mike Spencer.
Her death also turns into a lookie-loo circus which then serves to showcase the community and its morbid reaction to the most recent death.


Once again, Jason comes under suspicion, and, finding himself in a cop car with a vial of V juice in his possession, he panics, and downs the whole thing (when Lafayette warned him to take a drop or two at the most).
That action then develops into another amusing subplot involving horndog Jason, as he develops a bad case of priapism, which Tara helps him out with.


Meanwhile, Gran asks Sookie to “listen in” on people in an attempt to clear Jason’s name, a request which leads Sookie to the vampire bar in Shreveport, Fangtasia, which Dawn used to frequent.
Sookie asks Bill to escort her there (“this is not a date”), and it’s a nice little sequence which introduces Eric Northman (Generation Kill’s Alexander Skarsgård), apparently one of the oldest vampires in the area.


But the most disturbing scene of the episode has to go to Sam, writhing on Dawn’s bed, smelling the sheets.
Eurrr…
So first, Jason’s the murder suspect, and now, we’re given another character to look at a little more closely.
Whether or not Sam did kill Dawn though, he’s clearly more effed-up than we were first led to believe…

(Images courtesy of fanpop.com.)

TRUE BLOOD
Season 1 Episode 3
“Mine”
Written by Alan Ball
Directed by John Dahl
(WARNING: SPOILERS)

“Honey, if we can’t kill people, what’s the point of bein’ a vampire?”
-- Malcolm to Bill

Well, now.
Far as I’m concerned, True Blood has just kicked into high gear.


Right up front, we get a great helping of the show’s vampire mythology, particularly the social structures and hierarchy involved, as well as the differing opinions regarding the race’s having come out of the coffin.
It’s an added plus that the performers playing the vampire nest—Andrew Rothenberg, Aunjanue Ellis (from Justice and E-Ring), and General Hospital’s Graham Shiels—are splendid additions to the show’s cast.
Rothenberg’s Malcolm, older than Bill and a petulant bastard, runs the nest, which includes Ellis’ Diane (who apparently had sex with Bill back in the ‘30’s), and Shiels’ Liam, who’s the bald bloodsucking mofo we saw on the video with Maudette.
These are the down and dirty vampires who could give a rat’s a$ about co-existing with humans, and of course, will undoubtedly spell trouble for Bill and Sookie and the rest of the breathers on the show.


Then there’s what could be the second victim of whoever offed Maudette, poor Dawn.
Again, as with Maudette, the victim’s someone who’s, a) been bitten by a vampire, and b) just been in a sexual relationship with horndog Jason, who, by the way, is exhibiting more and more signs of his vampire fixation.
Concerned about his, erm, performance, Jason tries to score some Viagra off Lafayette, who instead sells him some V-juice, for, uhhh, an interesting dance. (Strange and hilarious scene, one of the best of the show yet…)


There’re also some great discussions in here, from Bill and Sookie’s dialogue regarding magic and vampires, to Tara and Sam’s heart-to-heart, which leads to them mutually ending their months-long sexual droughts.
Speaking of Tara, her tumultuous relationship with her alky mom (American Dreams’ Adina Porter) also gets a spotlight.
All that, plus the possibility of a divine reason for Starbucks, and the punchline to Gran’s story about Uncle Frank.
Priceless.

Parting shot: O.C. fans may appreciate the brief appearance of Nicholas Gonzalez (Marissa’s Season 2 poolboy paramour, D.J.), as Malcolm’s boytoy, Jerry.

“You know what I really wish would come to Marthaville? Huh? Buffy. Or Blade. Or any one of those bad-a$$ vampire killers to take care of Mr. Bill Compton. That’s what I wish.”
-- Sam to the Mystery Dog

Parting shot: Given the particularly delayed, post-Golden Globe nature of this review’s posting, I would be remiss if I did not congratulate Ms. Anna Paquin, for her Globe win.
Of course, given my still not-completely-won over status regarding Ms. Paquin, let me just say that if she won, then, for future reference, certain other cast members need to be Globe-acknowledged in the Supporting categories as well. (Please stand up, Rutina Wesley.)
Hear that, aitch-ef-pee-ey?

(Images courtesy of fanpop.com.)

TRUE BLOOD
Season 1 Episode 2
“The First Taste”
Written by Alan Ball
Directed by Scott Winant
(WARNING: SPOILERS)

What is up with that dog?! And that painting in Sam’s office?


Anyway, saving Sookie from a savage beating, Bill is forced to allow her to drink some of his blood, which completely heals her, heightens her senses, and makes her horny. (As if one horndog Stackhouse weren’t enough…)
It’s also established here that partaking of a vampire’s blood isn’t enough to turn one into a non-breather.


Subsequently, Bill puts his best undead foot forward and calls on Sookie, quite charming Gran, but leaving Jason and Tara unimpressed and hostile.
As it turns out, Bill’s a Compton, was around during the Civil War, and knew a Stackhouse way back when.
We also learn that vampires really do need to be invited into a home before they can set foot in it; the invitation can actually be revoked, too.


Other stuff goes on in this one, but that’s pretty much the meat of the hour.
And while Paquin is still leaving me unmoved, Moyer is slowly winning me over. I’m not gushing his praises the way Gran is just yet, granted, but at least I’m no longer that dubious about him.


True Blood being on HBO actually reminds me of the time that Vertigo comics published Vamps, which was patently not as literate and upscale as their usual material.
Ultimately, I wasn’t too thrilled with Vamps. True Blood though, as I mentioned in my review of its Pilot, has a charm all its own, and has the elements and the pedigree to become a compulsively good watch.
Here’s hoping the show finds its groove…

(Images courtesy of fanpop.com.)

TRUE BLOOD
Season 1 Episode 1
“Strange Love”
Written & directed by Alan Ball
(WARNING: SPOILERS)


So there’s a whole lotta lustin’—bar owner Sam Merlotte (Sam Trammell) carries a torch for mind-reading waitress Sookie Stackhouse (Anna Paquin); Sookie’s best friend Tara Thornton (Rutina Wesley) carries a torch for Sookie’s horndog brother Jason (Ryan Kwanten, whom horrorheads may recall from Dead Silence)—and a whole lotta sexin’—courtesy of the horndog Stackhouse—goin’ on in Alan Ball’s latest HBO offering, True Blood.
There’s also, in case you weren’t aware, vampires here, the show based on the Sookie Stackhouse novels by Charlaine Harris.
Yup. HBO’s giving us vampires.


As a pilot, this first taste of the show is fine, certainly not on the level of Six Feet Under’s debut, but an interesting slice of vampiric pop culture nonetheless.
As with Bryan Singer’s approach to the X-Men, Ball uses vampires as metaphors for those prejudiced against by society, while simultaneously casting them in the darker, kinkier shadows of human sexuality.
Yes, they’re currently being put upon and discriminated against, but boy, are they wicked lays!


Now, despite the glib and the snark, I am having fun with True Blood. It may not have the depth and the profundity of Six Feet Under or American Beauty, but it’s got a down-home charm all its own.
And did I mention the sex?


Funnily enough, though I’m digging some of the supporting cast—particularly Wesley; Lois Smith as Granny Stackhouse; J.F. Sebastian himself, William Sanderson, as Sheriff Dearborne; and Chris Bauer as Andy Bellefleur—it’s the leads, Paquin and Stephen Moyer (as vampire Bill), who’ve yet to win me over.
Particularly Paquin, who got a black mark from me a long time ago when she stole the Best Supporting Actress Oscar away from Winona Ryder…
Maybe it’s time for me to forget that slight.
Now if only Paquin would actually come across as genuine and earnest…

On the plus side though, the opening credits, orchestrated to Jace Everett’s “Bad Things,” are a blast…


(Images courtesy of fanpop.com and variety.com.)

AFTERTHOUGHTS (94)
GOT BLOOD?

So, in the wake of the Great Revelation (and if you need to be reminded of the insanity following it, check out the newsbits here), it was only a matter of time before someone targeted the fresh new demographic in our midst.
Well… actually, tremendously old demographic, but one that only now can be wooed with a product.
In this case, Tru Blood, from Japan’s Yakonomo Corporation.

Here’s the U.S. advert:



And the one running on French televisions:



Personally, I prefer the American one, but then again, that’s just me.

And this is priceless…

(Videos courtesy of youtube.com and bloodcopy.com; image courtesy of bloodcopy.com.)

AFTERTHOUGHTS (60)
EMPIRE’S 50 GREATEST TV SHOWS EVER MADE!

And on Empire’s list…

45. Farscape 1999-2003
An Australian sci-fi series featuring muppet aliens from The Jim Henson Company – it's not exactly a pitch that says 'edgy' or even very good. Against the odds, though, Farscape emerged as an innovative, amusing and endlessly watchable romp as Astronaut John Crichton fumbled his way through life on the other side of the galaxy while dropping endless pop culture references that were clearly lost on his alien companions. In Claudia Black's Aeryn Sun was found one of sci-fi's favourite pin-up girls and the chemistry between Black and co-star Ben Browder was so apparent they were reunited after Farscape's cancellation for the final series of Stargate SG-1.

30. Dexter 2006-present
The last thing the world needed was another series about a forensic scientist but it certainly adds something to the mix when said CSI is also a recreational serial killer. Mischievously sadistic, Dexter is a darkly amusing tale of a psychopathic monster living in the heart of sunny Miami and trying to reconcile his stabbier urges with being an otherwise decent guy. Michael C Hall is flawless as the carver in question and the show sports one of the cleverest title sequences around.

27. Six Feet Under 2001-2005
Dark, comical and really rather wonderful, it's little wonder that Six Feet Under flowed from the same pen that gave us the equally incredible American Beauty. Alan Ball's HBO series about a dysfunctional Pasadena family who run an independent funeral home was a wonderful meditation on life, love and grief. Headed up by Peter Krause as the prodigal elder son Nate Fisher and featuring Michael C Hall, Frances Conroy, Lauren Ambrose and Rachel Griffiths, the cast, like every facet of this compelling production, oozed class.

25. Futurama 1999-present
It's unfair to compare Matt Groening's other show to The Simpsons. Because what is as good as The Simpsons? Judged on its own merits, this futuristic comedy about the bumbling employees of an intergalactic delivery company is witty, silly and completely non-sensical in just the right measure. It's got some characters who don't work (Hermes Conrad, we're looking at you), but Bender the antagonistic robot makes up for any faults. It was revived for a reason, you know?

24. Twin Peaks 1990-1991
Who killed Laura Palmer? That was the question on everyone's lips during 1990 as David Lynch's bizarre small town mystery unfolded on our screens. A demon called Bob, a little man who talked backward and minor pie fetish were just some of the features on display here. But despite a healthy dose of surrealism everything fell into place. Until the rather less appealing second season, that is, where the question on people's minds was more akin to 'Who is Windom Earle and what in God's name is going on?' but that's beside the point.

17. South Park 1997-present
The Guinness World Record holder for "Most swearing in an animated series," Trey Parker and Matt Stone's crudely animated monster is going strong more than ten years later after we were first introduced to Cartman and the boys. Still offending just about everybody on the planet, it has avoided jumping the shark by continuously changing its targets and, most importantly, remaining incredibly funny. While it's undeniably puerile, the secret of South Park's success lies in the fact that its intentions are essentially good. Those who challenge common sense and general decency are the ones in the firing line – anybody else who gets hit are, well, collateral damage.

15. Heroes 2006-present
We'd heard shows before boast about 'cinematic' production values, but Tim Kring's Heroes actually meant it. Every super-charged hour boasts lavish amounts of special effects – Hiro's time-freezing abilities are particularly cool – and a classy, noirish aesthetic partly inspired by M. Night Shyamalan's Unbreakable. But eye-candy alone wouldn't have won Heroes its place on this list. Kring's genius was in bolting the flashy action onto a slow-burning storyline full of shadows and mystery. And having a really cute, invincible cheerleader in the cast doesn't hurt none either.

13. Battlestar Galactica 2003-present
Dark, unflinching and often brutal, BSG is a very long way from the camp seventies show of the same name. In fact, given that this is one of the most pioneering sci-fi shows in decades, its name is probably its biggest liability. This is a show more concerned with internal rifts, politics and strife than spatial anomalies or aliens with forehead prosthetics, making it a far more introverted character-driven drama than anything in the Star Trek canon. Edward James Olmos' gravel-tongued Admiral leads a great cast of characters (Gaius Baltar, we salute you) and the epic space conflicts, portrayed with a shaky, hand-held style for realism, are blissfully rendered mayhem.

9. The X-Files 1993-2002
Created by surfing enthusiast Chris Carter, The X-Files proved to be the show that could do anything. It could modulate its tone from Twin Peaks creepy to Texas Chain Saw Massacre terrifying to Three Stooges silly. It had a pair of good-looking, charismatic heroes with deliciously simmering sexual chemistry – plus a rogue's gallery of memorable villains, including the putrid Flukeman, stretchy Eugene Tooms and butt-loving Cigarette Smoking Man. Of course, the long-running 'Myth-Arc' conspiracy plotline would have baffled Einstein and was never properly wrapped up in any case, but with at least one more big-screen outing lined up for Mulder and Scully there's still time to redeem the show that launched a thousand Dark Skies.

5. Lost 2004-present
Only time will tell whether it's as clever as it seems, but few TV shows have gripped viewers' imaginations like this hybrid of Swiss Family Robinson and Twin Peaks. An innovative structure in which each episode hones in on a different character, with flashbacks and flashforwards expanding their backstory, ensures the entire cast is fleshed out beyond the constraints of the primary narrative. But aside from the host of unique and colourful characters – from earnest Jack to cocky Sawyer, noble Jin to bug-eyed Ben – it's the epic mysteries at the core of the story that keeps us coming back. What powers does the island have? What's that polar bear doing in the tropics? And how come Hurley never loses weight despite being marooned on an island?

Note that all comments are from the article, a few of which I may not completely agree with.
As much fun as I manage to find in all the Island weirdness, I actually have been riveted to Lost more for the characters than anything else. I really do want to find out what happens to them…
And speaking of weirdness, I think Twin Peaks got short shrift here, considering any bizarre bits we may happen to find in television today, I feel can be traced all the way back to TP’s influence. (Even Empire makes mention of TP twice, in shows that ranked higher than it.)
Not only was its shadow only too evident on shows like Northern Exposure and Picket Fences, the massive cultural impact it had clearly made strangeness welcome on the small screen, paving the way for all the off-kilter programming that came in its wake, and continues to this day.
It’s also important to note that when TP was strange, it was truly strange. Network television had never been to such surreal spots before, and truth to tell, hasn’t really been there since.
(I also happen to rather like Season 2…)

At any rate, I’m still glad TP made the list, which you can find here. Check it out for more bits on these shows, and to see if your favourite series made Empire’s cut.

Parting shot: Episodic recaps/reactions of Battlestar Galactica, Dexter, Heroes, and Lost can be found in the Archive, along with a review of the Futurama straight-to-DVD feature, Bender’s Big Score.

(Lost OS courtesy of impawards.com; The X-Files 2 OS courtesy of aintitcool.com; Battlestar Galactica image courtesy of SCIFI Channel; Twin Peaks image courtesy of tarnishedlady.typepad.com; Dexter image courtesy of fanpop.com.)