Five-Legged Iguana

BATTLESTAR GALACTICA
Season 4 Episode 3
“The Ties That Bind”
Written by Michael Taylor
Directed by Michael Nankin
(WARNING: SPOILERS)

Twelve Cylon models
Seven are known
Four live in secret
One will be revealed

Lords of Kobol, this one had some pretty evil reversals in its climax…

The Road to Earth.
It turns out that amongst the crew of the Demetrius (on its 22nd day of transit), are Helo, Athena, Toaster Sam, Seelix, and Gaeta.
All is not well on the creaky, smelly ride though, as Kara seems to be flailing about trying to get her bearings and find the correct course to Earth. Most of the others are beginning to doubt and grumble, though Sam ends up having a bout of anger-turned-into-passionate-sex (you know the type) with Kara…

West Wing in Space.
So President Roslin is covering for the Demetrius’ absence while having to deal with her cancer treatments.
And apparently, turning into a tyrant…
VP Zarek hands a Classified file to newly appointed Quorum member, Lee, which seems to indicate that Roslin is laying down the architecture for a government that will be beholden to the power of its President, namely her.
It also quickly becomes apparent that she hasn’t forgiven Lee one bit for his betrayal of her during Baltar’s trial (thus making my hope for a Roslin-Lee Moment last episode naively premature).
Man, she’s turning out to be a cold-hearted hard-a$$ this season, though I’m giving her the benefit of the doubt and hoping this is all fallout from the cancer (and not Toaster Tory manipulating her somehow; see later).
At any rate, Lee ends up blowing the whistle on the Classified file’s contents in front of the entire Quorum, forcing Roslin’s hand in making the proposal common knowledge, as well as pissing her off real good.

Cylon Coup.
When Cavil returns in a new body, he opens up talks with Natalie, and is apparently willing to listen to their demands now, if only to restore unity.
The demand to stop the Raider lobotomies is accepted, though the move to de-box the Threes is put to a vote.
At first, Cavil claims that the vote passed, but later on, when the ships make a jump, the Resurrection Ship doesn’t. A number of the base ships led by Cavil’s then open fire on the ships containing Natalie and the other dissidents.
Cavil tells Boomer (who he’s apparently being really chummy with these days; the topless dancing last episode was just the start!), Remember, they started this.
Boomer of course, emphasizes the consequences of the Resurrection Ship’s absence: if Natalie and the rest of the Sixes, and the Eights, and the Twos die, they’re dead for good…

The Secret Cylons.
With Toaster Tyrol’s frequent absences recently, Cally hasn’t been getting much rest or sleep, having to take care of Nicky all by her lonesome.
Fatigue and anti-depressants do not, a pretty mix make, and when she catches the Chief and Toaster Tory (let’s call her T2) at a table in Joe’s Bar, she conjures up a non-existent affair. (Though to be fair, T2 did seem to have turned into CyberSlut, which is, I suppose, what you get when you have the pain in the a$$ epiphany that you’re a Cylon and you’re made to sleep with Baltar. Anyway, T2 was stroking Toaster Chief’s elbow. Or was that all in Cally’s head?)
Convinced her husband is boinking the President’s assistant, Cally’s futzing around their quarters, gathering up her meds, and I’m thinking, Okay, crazy, drugged-up woman’s about to off herself, isn’t she?
But, she inadvertently finds a message for the Chief which indicates a place and time. Thinking it’s from her husband’s floozy, she shows up there and sees Tigh, Tory, and the Chief gather for some secret rendezvous. (What did she think? There was gonna be a threesome?)
Cally eavesdrops and hears something she really shouldn’t have: these three are Cylons!
Poor woman probably sailed right off the edge at that point.
Cally makes a little racket from her hiding place, but the only one to notice something amiss is Toaster Tory.

Back at their quarters, Toaster Tyrol is telling her once again that there is no affair going on, and that he’s really gonna try and be there for her and Nicky.
But Cally’s lost it and swings a wrench at Toaster Tyrol’s noggin, knocking him out. She takes Nicky and a key from her husband’s pocket…
As Cally makes her way to an outer hatch, I’m thinking, Oh, no, not with the kid. I’m thinking, No wonder Moore and Eick and company were saying in interviews that they may not be able to get around to exploring Nicky’s half-human/half-Cylon heritage. ‘Cause the poor kid’s gonna get snuffed by his crazy-a$$ momma!
And I’m thinking, Holy crap. They’re really gonna kill the kid?! And I recall that in the original mini-series—was it the first episode?—they actually did kill a baby, when Caprica Six snapped its neck. Damn you baby killers!!!
But who should show up but Toaster Tory, who seems to want to talk Cally down from her suicidal urges. T2 is even apparently willing to risk her life to try and save Cally from doing this awful, awful thing.
And I think to myself, Huh. T2 may not be so bad after all.
Which is basically what T2 says to Cally, as she takes little Nicky from his crazy-a$$ momma, that she may be a Cylon, but she’s still the same person she’s always been. That she isn’t evil.
Right before she backhands Cally and leaves her in the airlock. Before she uses the key and jettisons poor Cally into outer space.

Damn you, Moore and Eick (and Michael Taylor, for writing this evil and oh-so-effective reversal)!
I’ve never really warmed to Tory (thus the reveal that she was a Secret Cylon didn’t really have the same sort of impact as with the other three), but this just sealed the hate, people.
As much as this reminds me of Lost and Michael shooting Ana-Lucia and Libby, this is, in many ways, so much worse, as Tory really does seem to be a cold-hearted b!tch (as opposed to Michael’s dunder-headedness).
Ugh. The woman is evil. All Cally ever really wanted was to be a dentist! Now I feel stupid for feeling sorry for Toaster Tory when she was made to sleep with Baltar.
Go, evil toaster! Sleep and cry with that deluded egomaniac!
Go! And get your stinking hands off the Chief!
(And yes, I realize she’s actually a skin job, but calling the Secret Cylons “toasters” is so much more fun!)

This does beg the question though.
If Tory is capable of this heinous act, are the other three Secret Cylons also potentially murderous toasters?
Or is there truth to her claims to Cally, that she really still is the same woman she was before the epiphany? That she has been, all this time, a murderous harridan?
Or was that the pressure and anxiety of the possibility of being caught out? That she felt she couldn’t let Cally live, since Cally knew the truth about her?

Also, the episode closes with a broken-up Toaster Tyrol in his quarters with Adama. There’s no sign of little Nicky.
Could T2 have spirited Nicky away, and made it seem as if Cally committed hari-kiri along with her baby? I hope not…

I say again, Damn you, Moore and Eick!
Gods, can this show get any better?

R.I.P. Specialist Callandra Henderson Tyrol

COUNTDOWN: 17.

(Images courtesy of SCIFI Channel, twitchfilm.net, and chron.com [Cally].)