AFTERTHOUGHTS (66)
DESPERATELY SEEKING SUPERMAN 2008 (2)

And the five final candidates for Metropolis, Illinois’ new Man of Steel are Josh Boultinghouse, Damian Beurer, Jamie Aaron Kelley, Danny Kelley, and John Helfrich. Congratulations to all you fine gentle(Super)men.
From here on out, it’s all in the hands of the Superman Celebration Committee, who will deliberate on the final choice to take on the red cape and boots of the Last Son of Krypton.
Their choice will be announced on May 16, and will be seen in person at this year’s Superman Celebration, to be held on June 12-15. (For other details, go to the Metropolis Tourism website.)

(Images: Josh Boultinghouse; Damian Beurer; Jamie Aaron Kelley; Danny Kelley; John Helfrich)

SPEED RACER
(Review)

For the purposes of placing this review in a larger context…

My Cinematic History with the Wachowskis:
When Bound was released, I found it to be an agreeable, if not necessarily mind-blowing piece of entertainment. Beyond the lesbian twist, it didn’t really leave me with anything particularly fresh and rave-worthy.
So when news first surfaced of their next project, some sci-fi vehicle with Keanu in it, I was curious in that I wanted to see whether the brothers could handle science fiction, given that Bound wasn’t anywhere near that sort of territory.
It was in that neutral air of close-to-zero expectation that The Matrix blasted against my retinas and imprinted itself on my completely flabbergasted cortex.
It wasn’t perfect, but this was clearly something vital and new, blowing wide the gates of the film medium, even as the third millennium rapidly approached.
Fittingly enough, The Matrix proved to be a harbinger for post-millennial cinema, single-handedly establishing the new action film paradigm (ironically enough, by co-opting and sprucing up wire fu, which had already been going on for decades while the mainstream pointedly looked elsewhere).
As impressed as I was with The Matrix though, the Wachowskis were still on my probation list. I wanted them to kick my a$$ with a film that was removed from The Matrix, something low-key maybe.
Of course, they opted to return with the Matrix sequels, films I felt weren’t particularly needed. The Matrix was one of those very singular films that should have been left standing alone.
And when 2003 came around and Reloaded and Revolutions hit the screens within six months of each other, the whole bullet train completely derailed. (I am extremely grateful we had The Animatrix that same year, which thankfully more than negated the very bad taste the sequels left in me…)
Not only did the sequels suffer under the terrible weight of expectation, but the Wachowskis seemed to have approached the entire enterprise from the wrong angle. Sick to death of The Matrix’s bullet-time having been appropriated and parodied by all and sundry, they conceived of effects sequences so complex, no one could copy them.
That just seemed arrogant and presumptious. And the philobabble just got a bit much…
So I was back to waiting. Waiting for the Wachowskis to kick my a$$ all over again.

And they’ve done it.

With Speed Racer.

The titular hero (played with an earnest sense of idealistic confidence by Emile Hirsch) is a young man who lives for the rush, who can’t really slow down. There, behind the wheel, careening down the race track at improbable velocities, is one of the few places Speed feels at home.
He knows, deep in his heart, in the very fibre of his being, that this is not just the only thing he knows how to do, but also, the principal thing he was meant to do.
And though he has an amazing support system in his extended family (which includes his girlfriend Trixie, played by Christina Ricci), Speed also has some ghosts he must come to terms with, in particular, the disgrace and apparent subsequent death of his older brother Rex (Friday Night Lights’ Scott Porter).
Rex is the brother he idolized, the brother who taught him everything, who taught him to listen, to understand and acknowledge that a car isn’t just metal and oil, but rather, a living, breathing organism.
And here, in the coming-of-age adventure that we see play out in Speed Racer, young Speed is about to discover why Rex came to that tragic end, and the terrible darkness that lies at the heart of the World Racing League, and the sport he so dearly loves.

Beyond the kaleidoscopic, day-glo aesthetic of this hyper-real, hyper-kinetic world, what most strikes me about Speed Racer is the fact that there is some genuine emotion that underpins the astounding visual flourishes.
From the strong filial bonds on display (helped along tremendously by the performances of senior cast members, Susan Sarandon and John Goodman, as Mom and Pops Racer); the obvious hero worship Speed still holds for his brother; the brooding, tragic, and tangibly physical presence of Racer X (a terrific and terribly effective Matthew Fox); and the struggle young Speed experiences in trying to keep his idealism intact in the crushing, cruel face of high-stakes business, Speed Racer certainly has a heart that beats with a genuine rhythm, a humanizing counterpoint to the adrenalized, pedal-to-the-metal action.
For every neon-laced, anime-inspired set piece, there’s a small character moment that balances it out, and somehow, the Wachowskis manage to pace all of the film’s bits in such a way that a 2 hour 15 minute running time feels far less. (There were honestly only a couple of sections where a minute, perhaps even half, could have been shaved off each, to make the goofy goings-on a tad less strained. Unlike last year’s Transformers or Spider-Man 3, where the kiddy bits were simultaneously condescending, atrocious, and horribly frivolous padding.)
It zips by, this one. But not without leaving its marks. Much like the squiggly trails of coloured light scrawled on the air by the whizzing racing cars during the Maltese Ice Caves sequence, Speed Racer leaves after-images in its wake, both visual and emotional.

As clearly bowled over as I am with it though, I will admit, this isn’t for everyone.
Some will see the frenetic racing sequences and quickly switch off, under the mistaken belief that all Speed Racer is is high velocity eye candy devoid of any genuine human warmth.
Speed Racer also isn’t really built for extremely young kids. (Thus, the PG rating, as some of the young 'uns may need older family members to patiently explain odd bits here and there.) The first protracted racing sequence alone, which shifts the narrative back and forth from the present, to different sections of the past (much as a speeding car rapidly shifts its gears), may lose some of the less-attentive of the kiddie brigade in its non-linear, top-heavy exposition.
I, for one, loved this sequence, enthralled by the poignant idea of “race track as continuum,” capped off by Speed racing the phantom of Rex to the finish line. But then again, that’s just me.
The final moments of the climactic race are also executed via a device that is so tried-and-tested, it’s cliché. Somehow though, the Wachowskis pull it off, orchestrating the emotions the film’s narrative engine runs on to a tee.
And to leave us with the thought that anything—no matter how seemingly trivial—can be an art; that money does not have to—and more importantly, should not—be at the heart of everything; that a cohesive family unit is key; and that it isn’t really about what you can do, but how you can do good while doing what you do, that matters…
Certainly all that must count for something.

At this point, I’d like to underscore the fact that I’ve never really been a fan of Tatsuo Yoshida’s original animated Mach Go Go Go (Speed Racer in its American incarnation). I’ve seen snippets of some episodes of course, just enough to know that the tone of the series wasn’t really for me.
Despite never having gotten into it though, I was aware of the characters—Chim-Chim, Racer X, Trixie, et al—and their basic relationships with each other; I was aware of the visual signatures; I was aware of the song.*
So I really had no vested interest in whether the film would be any good, beyond the fact that I was hoping it could redeem the Wachowskis in my eyes.
I’m so glad it did. I’m thrilled that the Wachowskis could give a non-fan like myself a grand, rousing time at the cinema.
I’m glad that they could give me a film that has decidedly more humanity than The Matrix, that has a readily apparent soul that informs the technical and visual virtuosity that they are so clearly wizards of.
And I’m glad they proved they hadn’t completely lost their game.

Set in a world that is arguably more visually vibrant and stimulating than the Matrix, Speed Racer is a cinematic experience that fires on all of its cylinders, more than making up for the Matrix sequels.
It may not end up as seismic a pop culture event as The Matrix was, and it may not be the low-key piece I was looking for, but it certainly showcases the Wachowskis’ visual strengths in a package infused with humour, warmth, and emotion.
And granted, it isn’t for everyone, but for those of you who dig stylized storytelling, who can appreciate the paradox of obvious artifice and earnest emotion playing off each other and fusing under the elusive alchemy of skilled filmmaking, I think Speed Racer’s just the ride for you.

* Dang, the film version of the theme song (by Ali Dee and the Deekompressors) is a particularly dangerous—and terribly fun—meme…

(Speed Racer OS’s courtesy of impawards.com [design by Concept Arts]; images courtesy of speedracerthemovie.warnerbros.com.)

AFTERTHOUGHTS (65)
DESPERATELY SEEKING SUPERMAN 2008

For the past three decades, Metropolis, Illinois, has celebrated the Man of Steel in its Annual Superman Celebration, four days of celebrities, events, concerts, plays, and rides.
This year, after eight consecutive years of being Metropolis’ official Superman, Scott Cranford is handing over the cape and tights to a worthy successor, and you can narrow down the field.
If you’re a fan of Big Blue, go here, and vote for your favourite Superman. Voting is open till May 10.
The 5 candidates with the most votes will be announced on May 12, and the Superman Celebration Committee will choose Metropolis’ new Superman from the group.
Cranford’s successor will be announced on May 16, and the chosen candidate receives “… $1,000, round-trip travel, a Superman of Metropolis Award, a six-night stay in Metropolis, and a personal assistant during the celebration.”
Among the candidates, 6’2”, 225-pound Josh Boultinghouse, model Travis Kraft, and Damian Beurer, who stands a frakkin’ 6’6”! (Incidentally, Josh’s height and weight pretty much line up with DC’s statistics for the Man of Steel. He also won the Superhero Costume Contest at the 2004 Superman Celebration, where he was dressed as Superman, of course.)

Celebrity guests at this year’s Superman Celebration (being held on June 12-15), include Ned Beatty (Otis from Superman: The Movie), Allison Mack (Chloe from Smallville), and Lois Lane of Superman Past, Noel Neill (who also showed up in Bryan Singer's Superman Returns as Gertrude Vanderworth, the old rich lady Lex had to... umm... pleasure so he could get that ginormous boat).
Among the events already announced, is this year’s Superhero Costume Contest, to be held on Sunday, June 15. (For other details, go to the Metropolis Tourism website.)

Not only is it the 30th anniversary of the Superman Celebration, it’s also the 70th anniversary of Superman’s debut in Action Comics #1, so it’ll be a huge celebration.

(Images: Scott Cranford; Josh Boultinghouse; Travis Kraft; Damian Beurer)

AFTERTHOUGHTS (64)

64.1 CRUISING TRIBECA 2008 (2)
From a field of 120 films in competition, Tomas Alfredson’s vampire film, Lat den ratte komma in (Let the Right One In) took home the feature prize at this year’s Tribeca Film Festival, while Thomas Turgoose and Piotr Jagiello (both from Shane Meadows’ Somers Town) shared the acting trophy.

Among the festival jurors this year were Doug Liman, Josh Schwartz, Oliver Platt, Peter Dinklage, Callie Khouri, and Whoopi Goldberg.

A rundown of the other winners this year can be found here.

And, in further Lat den ratte komma in news, in a bidding war for the film’s remake rights—in which Warner Bros., Paramount, and Overture figured in the wheeling and dealing—Hammer Films and Spitfire Pictures emerged victorious.
A writer for the English-language Let the Right One In redux will be chosen shortly.

64.2 THE FLY OPERA ABOUT TO OPEN
Iguana regulars will know I love me my Cronenberg and Shore, so I’d just like to do my part and make note of the fact that the two-act opera of The Fly—directed by David Cronenberg and composed by Howard Shore—is almost upon us.
It’ll be conducted by Los Angeles Opera general director, Plácido Domingo, with a libretto by David Henry Hwang (whose M. Butterfly was taken to the big screen by Cronenberg), and set design by Dante Ferretti (who took home the Oscar this year for his work on Tim Burton’s Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street).
Scoot on over to http://www.howardshore.com/ for info on tickets.

64.3 REPRISE GETS U.S. RELEASE
Joachim Trier’s Reprise will get its U.S. theatrical release on May 16, and will then subsequently be available as a Netflix rental.

Parting shot: Reviews of Shane Meadows’ This Is England (which also stars Thomas Turgoose), a number of David Cronenberg’s films, and Joachim Trier’s Reprise can be found in the Archive.

(Let the Right One In OS courtesy of shocktillyoudrop.com; The Fly opera image courtesy of howardshore.com; Reprise UK quad courtesy of impawards.com.)

FRONTIERE(S)
(Review)

And the French have done it again…

Xavier Gens’ Frontiere(s)—which brought him to the attention of Hollywood and got him the Hitman gig—follows a group of youths on the run from the police, who decide to stop at a hostel in the French countryside, with disastrous results.
Riffing freely off Tobe Hooper’s The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, Gens’ splatterfest is a gruesome and sordid affair that puts Yasmine (Karina Testa) through the wringer in the worst way. If you thought Marilyn Burns had it rough in Chain Saw, think again.
Seriously. That was a cake walk.

Now, for those of you who’ve been to the Iguana before, you’ll know that I love me my horror with subtext.
Sadly (for me, at least), Frontiere(s) is more survival horror than anything else, one of those cinematic endurance tests for its prospective audience. The thing is, unlike Alexandre Aja’s Haute Tension, which seemed to focus more on the thrill and the tension of the hunt, Frontiere(s) seems more preoccupied with revulsion and degradation than anything else.
On the level of a balls-to-the-wall piece of extreme horror, it certainly delivers, no question about it. It delivers in buckets of blood and gobbets of flesh. I just wish it had been about more than just a French variation of the “pretty young things in peril” scenario.
And to be fair, though the protagonists’ personalities are rather negligible here, the snatches of filial relationships within the family of crazies which we do get to see are fascinating, though those remain pretty much in the background.

Ultimately, Frontiere(s) is a nasty piece of work, and if you strap yourself in for that sort of ride, you’ll have a hell of a time with this one.
This is so much more effective than the recent slew of 70’s horror remakes from Hollywood, and just the latest reason why I will never, ever set foot in France, where the crazies really seem to be over-the-top wacko…

Parting shot: Frontiere(s) gets a limited U.S. release on May 9, 2008, and hits DVD shelves four days later on the 13th.

Parting shot 2: A review of Gens’ Hitman can be found in the Archive, as well as one of another gem of French disturbo-horror, Kim Chapiron's Sheitan.

(Frontier(s)—as per its international title—quad courtesy of bloody-disgusting.com; OS courtesy of impawards.com; images courtesy of shocktillyoudrop.com.)

LOST
Season 4 Episode 7
“Ji Yeon”
Written by Edward Kitsis & Adam Horowitz
Directed by Stephen Semel
(WARNING: SPOILERS)

And the neighbours were said to have heard: Bastaaaardds!!!

Okay, let’s do it like this; let’s divvy this up between on the Island, on the freighter, and off the Island…

On the freighter:
Frank takes a whole bunch of canned goods to Sayid and Des, who are under lock and key once more after their unauthorized excursion to the comm room, during which time poor Minkowski did an Eloise.
On guard, Regina in the flesh, portrayed by Zoe Bell. Finally we see Zoe. Only to have her wrap some chains around herself and jump overboard.
Bye bye, Zoe.
WTF?!
And I thought Fisher Stevens came and went…

Anyway, no one even tries to jump in to save Regina, and Sayid and Des finally meet the freighter’s captain, Gault (Grant Bowler), who says that a) a number of his crew have been having some mental issues, as evidenced by Regina’s swan dive; b) there’s a saboteur on board; and c) the ship belongs to one Charles Widmore (so, Ben wasn’t lying about that).
The captain also shows Sayid and Des what is supposed to be the black box recovered from the Oceanic 815 crash, where all those corpses were found, including one that was supposed to be Sayid…
So the captain claims that the man behind the elaborate ruse (which required 324 corpses as props) is one Benjamin Linus…

Returning from their audience with the captain, whom Sayid wryly describes as “surprisingly forthcoming,” they’re moved into a new room, and who do they meet but Kevin Johnson.
You know, Kevin! Who looks exactly like some scummy traitor known as Michael.
Of course, Sayid and Des are on the ball, and don’t let on to the fact that they recognize this schmuck. (Of course, right now, I’m doing some memory scrabbling and trying to recall if Des was sober enough to have remembered Michael…)

On the beach:
Jin and Sun are talking baby names, but Sun doesn’t want to jinx it, so she doesn’t play along. Jin thinks it’s going to be a girl, and wants to name his daughter “Ji Yeon.”
When Kate and company get back, Sun asks what went down, and Kate tells all (I love Sun’s reaction to hearing that Charlotte whacked Kate on the head; go, Sun! Show that Brit b!tch some Korean whoop-a$$!), including the fact that Juliet euphemistically referred to the poison gas factory as a “power station.”

This penchant Juliet has for sometimes avoiding the truth like the plague, gets Sun suspicious once more of the Other woman, and after unsuccessfully trying to get something out of Daniel in regards to their rescue, she gets it into her fool head to go join Locke, because she doesn’t trust these newcomers.
But when Sun needs some prenatal vitamins from Juliet, Juliet is deathly opposed to the idea, since Sun really needs to get off the Island, and quick. But Sun’s gotten dubious about Ju-Ju’s claims, so she’s off for LockeLandia.
Kate draws the Kwons a map and all, and tells them she has to tell Jack, but she’ll give them a good head start first. Sun says she wanted to tell Jack, but decided not to because “he wouldn’t understand.”
But Ju-Ju busts that party and at first tries to tell Jin about Sun’s condition (as Jin explained to Jack earlier, he understands English better than he speaks it), but when Jin says, Wherever Sun goes, I go, Ju-Ju whips out her trump card: Juliet tells Jin about Sun’s affair! (And although I understood precisely why Juliet said that, I still so hated her guts just then.)
Sun slaps an already beaten-up Juliet (ouchee), and Jin stalks off back to the beach.

Sun tries to explain, but Jin just wants to go fish. Luckily, Bernard, bless his soul, arrives, and at first unaware of the argument, asks Jin if he can tag along.
Bernard realizes he’s walked right into the middle of something, and is apologetic and is backing off, when Jin says it’s okay.
So the only two married men on the Island (well, from 815; who knows how many of the natives are married; come to think of it, some of the 815 sock puppets could be married too, but how are we to know?) go fishing, and Bernard tells Jin about Rose’s cancer.

Back on the beach, Juliet tells Sun, I just had to stop you from leaving.
Ju-Ju then outlines the next handful of weeks for Sun, an inevitable scenario that ends with her death, and right after that, the baby’s.
You’re my patient, Juliet says, and you need to get off this Island.
When Jin gets back, he prepares dinner for Sun (Jin’s practicing English is adorable), and basically says, I know the man I was back then, before the Island.
I know that what you did back then, you did to that man.
I forgive you.
(Which, let’s face it, already slew me at face value, but in light of our final Off the Island section, well… devastating…)
Jin says, I’ll go with you to Locke’s camp, but Sun says, I don’t want to go there anymore. Juliet was very convincing.
They have a helicopter, she says.
Jin says, I’ll do whatever it takes to protect you and the baby…

Off the Island:
A very pregnant Sun, back in Korea, goes into labour.
Cut to Jin, who’s frantic to get to the hospital, but passes by a store to buy a stuffed panda first.
With Sun, it’s all labour pains and new doctors (her usual one is at a conference, damn him!), with Jin, it’s all, played for laughs, need to get to the hospital, oh crap, I need to buy another panda, oh more crap, my cell phone just got ran over.
So all through this, I had a bunch of suspicions.

Suspicion A: this new doctor and that nurse doping up Sun were evil, evil I say.
They were here to steal Sun’s baby, to study it, it apparently being the first infant to have been conceived on the Island, and to have lived to tell the tale. (Unless Ben used to do that in the past—get the preggers women off the Island before they reached their third trimester, have them deliver off Island, then bring them back when both mother and infant were a-ok—which I always wondered about and I believe I mentioned here at the Iguana before.)
Anyway, it would be that whole Knots Landing, Oh, we’re so sorry, but your baby died during labour, but then Valene just knows she gave birth to a baby that was alive, and no, I was not confused by the drugs, where is my baby you bastards?!
So.
Anyway.
Evil baby snatchers.

Suspicion B: somewhere along the way, I began to think, Oh no, what if they both got off the Island, but in the end—due to the whole Sun having an affair thing—didn’t end up together, and Jin’s actually hurrying up to get to some other woman who’s now his wife, who just happens to be delivering at the same time as Sun.
Of course, if I had had the luxury to think this suspicion through, it would be impossible for Jin to have both found (and perhaps married) another woman and gotten her preggers so that her delivery would coincide with Sun’s. (Unless Jin actually physically time-traveled somehow and that his sperm stayed healthy and alive even after he’d gotten off the Island…)
Anyway, the core of this particular suspicion was that Jin was not heading to Sun’s side, that when he got to the hospital, we’d have the reveal of some other woman with her newborn baby.

Suspicion C: which, before we get into it, I must say, was a niggle at the back of my mind, pretty much overshadowed by Suspicion A (Evil! Evil!), was that Jin and Sun were in different timelines (which would also have worked hand-in-hand with Suspicion B).
But as I said, it was a niggle, so when the reveal came that they were indeed in different times (Sun, post-Island; Jin, two weeks into their marriage, and he was hurrying to the hospital to deliver the panda to some ambassador or other, on orders of Sun’s evil da), the immediate question which overrode the small, though still significant surprise, was, Where’s Jin?
And this is the point where I irrationally shouted at the screen, Bastaaaardds!!!

Hurley shows up to greet the proud mama and Ji Yeon, and then they all troop off to see Jin… who’s in the cemetery.
I say again, Bastaaaardds!!!

I can only assume at this point that Jin did do all he could to protect Sun and the baby, and this is the price.
If so, though, is Jin considered part of the Oceanic Six (as a nurse points Sun out to be)?
Officially, with verbal confirmation on the show, it’s Jack, Kate, Hugo, Sayid, and Sun. We’ve seen Ben, and of course, Aaron, off-Island, but neither were 815 passengers. Or is an unborn infant considered a passenger?
Is Aaron part of the Six, or not?

Of course, my steering the pondering over to the Oceanic Six question is simply me trying to avoid having to deal with Jin’s upcoming demise.
It’s Charlie all over again…
But, as hard as this is going to be, at least I get to psyche myself out for the inevitable, as opposed to, say, the sudden departures of Shannon (Ana-Lucia, you b!tch!) and Libby (Michael, you bastard!).
Still.
I say again, Bastaaaardds!!!

Or was that part of the elaborate ruse and Jin’s still alive, on the Island? Though I doubt that possibility, as I can’t see Sun going through the masquerade of visiting an empty grave just so she could get me to blubber like an idiot…
Of course, the date of death on Jin’s marker read September 22, 2004, the date of the 815 crash, since he was purported to have died then. But that still leaves us with possibilities…
Either Jin really did die back on the Island, and Sun can’t really have the date of death on the grave marker changed because that would contradict the “official story” of the 815 crash, or the visit to the cemetery was indeed part of the ruse and Jin is still alive, back on the Island.
Graaar! I say again, Bastaaaardds!!!
Now I don’t even know if I should prepare myself for Jin’s demise or not…

Sigh.
I love this show.

COUNTDOWN: 41.

(Images courtesy of ABC, ew.com, and variety.com.)

ONE MISSED CALL
(Review)

Eric Vallete’s English-language remake of Takashi Miike’s Chakushin Ari (which was itself Miwako Daira’s adaptation of the novel by Yasushi Akimoto) was originally scheduled for an August 24 2007 US release.
That soon changed to a January 4 2008 release. Now, a release date change of this sort is more often than not a bad sign. Coupled with its ultimate release falling in the early—or as defined in the Hollywood dictionary, “dead”—months of the year (another bad sign), where studios have perennially tossed their less than desirable product, a stigma began to taint One Missed Call even before it opened.
Still, I hoped for the best, and bolstered by that creepy-a$$ one-sheet, gave it a fair look-see.

With a handful of variations here and there, the set-up is pretty much that of Miike’s Chakushin Ari: Beth Raymond (Shannyn Sossamon) bears witness to a number of her friends falling prey to prophetic cell phone calls—signaled by an eerie ringtone—that serve as harbingers of their doom, before she gets her own call, and must solve the mystery lest she end up facing her own apparently impending death.
What Vallete and One Missed Call screenwriter Andrew Klavan so clearly fail to capture though is the air of dread and tense anticipation evident in Miike’s take. Nowhere is this sad—and ultimately fatal—shortcoming so painfully evident as in One Missed Call’s redux of a bravura setpiece from Chakushin Ari, which involves a victim’s death on live TV.
Here, we have American Miracles, run by Ted Summers (genre powerhouse Ray Wise), who has exorcist Ray Purvis (Jason Beghe, who incidentally recently walked away from Scientology in a big stink) attempt to eradicate the cell phone curse.
With its Christian iconography, non-existent suspense, and fairly ludicrous “body of Christ compels you to leave this cell phone” blather, this sequence turns out to be the most disappointing in the entire film.
When you’ve got Ray Wise and this is all you have him do, it’s a waste of everyone’s time.

There are attempts to introduce elements not present in Miike’s version though, particularly in having the intended victims begin seeing disturbing presences all around them (which is where the one-sheet image comes in), but this really isn’t anything new in a horror film; as I recall, this was also done in The Exorcism of Emily Rose.
In One Missed Call, these moments happen so often that they quickly feel like desperate attempts to continually scare the audience, when all they really do is get pretty boring, pretty quickly.
And while the “abuse as a cycle” theme is still here, it sadly also feels muted somehow, certainly less potent than in Miike’s Chakushin Ari.

Admittedly, the idea behind One Missed Call’s climax—which avoids that ludicrously monstrous cheat in Chakushin Ari’s final moments and that ambiguous last shot—makes more sense than the Japanese version’s.
Tragically, it isn’t executed very well, and plays out as horribly anti-climactic, with one of those annoying “Yes, we can have a sequel if we so choose” last shots, that I’d rather take Miike’s ending, flaws and all, than this mess.
And yes, Miike had some questionable funhouse scares in the hospital sequence, but none as laughably ridiculous as One Missed Call’s baby with a cell phone bit. (Of course, if I were to see that in real life, in the burnt-out shell of an abandoned hospital, I probably wouldn’t be laughing. On the screen though, it’s a golden MST3K moment…)
Oh, and why the vengeful ghost bothered with Luna—when the poor cat clearly didn’t have a cell phone—was just a bad decision to try and get a cheap scare. Is it worth it though when you could end up pissing PETA off?
And yes, Dave Stewart wrote and performed One Missed Call’s ringtone, and I love Stewart, and his work with Annie Lennox, as well as the Spiritual Cowboys, but I must say, Chakushin Ari’s ringtone is still far more disturbing… (Incidentally, Stewart is the founding member of Nokia’s recently established Artist Advisory Council. Presumably, he will do more in this illustrious position than compose murderous ringtones...)

In the end, as much as I thought Miike aimed ambitiously high with Chakushin Ari and didn’t quite hit the mark, Valette’s One Missed Call just kind of lies there, listless and droning, like an unanswered cell phone on mute, its battery winding down, just begging you to shut it off.

Parting shot: A review of Chakushin Ari can be found in the Archive.

(One Missed Call OS courtesy of impawards.com [design by Art Machine, A Trailer Park Company]; images courtesy of bloody-disgusting.com.)